The Old Ivy House — Restaurant in London

TERRIBLE. Story below.

The Ivy house

My colleague and I have the pleasure of working around Old street, and have been frequenting the Ivy House for a few months now, funnelling our well earned money through the medium of beer into the pockets of this tidy little establishment.

Such was the pleasant service from the staff in the evening, and the tidy menu, we thought we would come and visit for food on our next payday, confident that the food and service would continue to be at the heady heights of the evening.

However, on a hot sunny day we ambled in and were greeted by a ghoul of a man who threw the menu down at us (“The express Menu, where everything is £4.90) Uneased, we ordered what on the menu claimed to be Rib eye steak, chips and tomato. A fine choice, I think you’ll agree dear reader.

When we pleasantly wondered aloud regarding the possibility of a simple exchange from a tomato to a mushroom, the ghoul of a man, who we later found out to be the owner, which is a sad truth, barked “NO, BUT YOU CAN HAVE MASH POTATO OR SALAD INSTEAD”

In my little head I wondered why this man would think I would ever like Mash potato with my chips and steak, if anything that seems like an unbalanced meal, but perhaps I could be wrong.

On we moved, we sat down. After several idle minutes, a meal was served. I feel that meal is perhaps too strong an adjective for the plate of food that was served to my accomplice on lunch. A thin slab of fat was the excuse for the steak, along with a few lonely looking, half cooked chips. What a miserable plate of food. After spending 16 minutes trying to chew through one bit of steak, we decided we had had enough of spending 16 minutes trying to chew through one bit of steak. My colleague calmly returned the plate of food, remarking upon the unremarkable nature of it.

The ghoul took offence. He marched over to the table and threw, yes THREW, £5 on the table and asked us to leave, such was the offence he had taken to our temerity for not enjoying the fat he had clearly stolen from a dogs dinner the night before, re-branded as “rib eye” and sold to us for £4.90. This man I thought, has chosen an odd profession in customer service, given we seem to be the first people he has ever interacted with since he was released from his psychiatric treatment for anger management issues.

Why this is all turning very unpleasant I thought to myself, and rather than cause I scene, I thought that if this man is the owner, the bald man with a beard who is Italian I believe, he will take far more offence if I were to write a poor review on here.

In short, if I was marking the food and service here out of ten, it would be 0. This is not a reflection on the usual bar staff, who are lovely, but the owner, if he is the owner, is a rude man, who wants you to have mash potato with chips and steak for lunch and takes offence if you don’t like the food he’s given you. (Remember you have paid for this food, and he is supposed to be providing a service)

This is the first ever complaint I have written, I am not a fussy man. I lived off naan bread and mango chutney dip for 3 years at university. No, this man does not deserve the business that comes his way. I will never return to this pub, nor will any of my colleagues, who are all pretty much alcoholics, so the pub has lost a good deal of business. A...

OLD IVY HOUSE - A WARM WELCOME

Last week Thursday I, with a group of Some of My Fellow Parishioners, went for a drink at Old Ivy House. Yeah, after a serious session at The Body Church (Gym), We headed off for a get together to say, "Bon Voyage," to Our Pastor. It was My first Time at the pub. In fact, I didn't even notice it as I pass it by on My travels (to The Body Church).

WARM 'N' COSY

I found the interior to be very homely... There were adequate places to sit and stand. Maybe Old Ivy could've done with done with some coat racks in strategic places. I had to remove My jacket because I had generated a lot of Body Heat from an intense workout! Had I not have My gym bag, I wouldn't have had a place to put My jacket. If there were coat racks, I didn't see 'em.

AUDIBLE

Yes, there was background music, but - at least from where I was standing - the music didn't hamper conversations. Sure, Others did mention that They could hardly hear Themselves talk for standing too close to the speakers - obviously. I do wish that pubs would keep the music at a low volume in a similar way to elevator music.

TOILETS

Usually, One can smell the toilets in pubs with a large clientele, thus making The Gents easy to locate. However, the toilet facilities in Old Ivy was clean and modern looking. The only thing missing was paper towels. I don't trust that electric dryers!

Moreover, there wasn't a wait to use the toilets. Oh! I would say that the two urinals are too close together for My liking. Taking a leak with a Friend makes it less awkward. Ha ha!

SERVICE

The service was pretty good... The glasses looked clean... The one thing that annoyed Me slightly was that ice was already in the glass as a given. I'd prefer to be asked if I wanted ice or not. Mind You, I didn't buy the drinks that night! Hee hee hee 😆 Still, from what I observed, ice was in the glass before One could say anything.

Ice in tap water makes the tap water taste even worse! In future, I'll have a bottled water with no ice!

RETURN

Sure! I'll go there again. The Old Ivy was open quite late... We left at around midnight, whereas other pubs would have closed already.

I'm not big on pubs like I used to be, I prefer bars as a whole, but Old Ivy House is a pretty good hybrid between bar and a pub. Do You know what I mean?

Anyway, the clientele were quite friendly, which helps to create a welcoming atmosphere.

I hope You enjoyed this review.

Best...

Went for a pint after a client meeting in Aldgate and they handed me some silly little card and said we needed to buy two other drinks to have a Guinness. When asked why they said 'shortage of stock' ok so sell us one pint and we'll be on our way then 'sorry that's not how it works'. So clearly in it to make a bit of extra money from all the kerfuffle surrounding it "why make our customer buy one drink and we can make them buy three".

Staggering greed. Only have to look at their responses to other negative reviews to see how far up their own backsides they are; like people always do their reviews on the day they've been to a place - I surely don't because it's not the first thing I think about, but I'm always happy to provide exact visit dates and times when asked.

Told them where to shove their card and went to the Slaughtered Lamb round the corner which I highly recommend and they served us our pints no questions asked. Got some food there too which was quite nice I'll sort their...