The Pig's Ear — Restaurant in London

Listen, if you can bear sitting next to dog-laden young women who have sacked off their original face for something different, gossiping, then arguing, then crying, then breaking up the friendship, then becoming best friends again then the Pig's Ear might be for you. Personally, I don't just bear it, I inject that stuff straight into my aorta. It's Made In Chelsea but it's real - I think anyway - and we're extras. I don't know if Sloane Rangers exist anymore or if they have been usurped by these Lulu Lemon athleisure wearing dog toters but this pub is their domain. It's where they can feel comfortable enough to go through a gamut of emotions and two bottles of Soave before starters have been dusted off. The pub itself is peak Chelsea. Traditional, smart, Victorian, just off the beaten track. It's a local for people who own small terraced houses that are worth more than the GDP of some European countries. Wooden floorboards, gilded mirrors, high ceilings, chandeliers. Uxbridge Rd is 20 mins and a world away. The Pig's Ear was taken over by the Gladwin Bros this year. To my mind that means quality meat from their own farm and a bit of cooky and quirky on the menu. It's a good promise if you go to one of their six restaurants. Richard the restauranteur, Gregory the farmer, Oliver the chef. The group is called 'Local and Wild'. You get the picture. The Shed in Notting Hill nails it. Does The Pig's Ear deliver? Not ones to disappoint, first on the menu the brothers Gladwin give us mushroom marmite eclair, confit egg, cornichon. It's fun. They are fun. It's as fun as Chelsea will get I think. I go with the Devilled quails eggs though. They aren't devilled enough and the mousse is a bit dry and flimsy. Slather my eggs in a good home made mayo and I'll eat them on death row. These were just a bit too prim and proper. Salt beef croquettes sound like a winner too but ours lack oomph, possibly in the form of a cheesy glue inside. Newsflash. Annabelle's mates have never really 'got' her. Never really understood the pain and torment she goes through. Jen is an attention seeker. Always has been apparently. There's anger and anguish there. And it's not because the croquettes didn't quite deliver. I'm tuned right in but our mains are the ad break we just don't need at this crucial point. They'd better be good, and they are. Scallops are bathed in a fishy aioli with lots of ginger and lemon. Four plump ones topped with 'salty fingers' which are some sort of beach foraged greenery. My steak is the star of the show. Nicely burnished flesh, well rendered fat, a good spoon of the natural juices. What's not to like? OK it's not kooky but when they do the standard stuff so well, I'm not moaning. Skinny chips complete the deal nicely. Next door, anger has turned to loud declarations of love. Hugs over the table. More tears. Dog in a handbag looking confused. We stay for pudding. There's a stabbing and an admission of an affair with one of the husbands on the cards here. Cherry crumble cheesecake works to prolong the entertainment. Alas, there are no fireworks in the denouement. They're too pissed. No fireworks in the food either. Playful ideas that need bedding in. But the meat and fish do the job nicely and in smart comfy surroundings. Service is confident and laid back. If you want to bed down for the evening you could do a lot worse than tuning in to The Pig's Ear 7.30 Monday where Annabelle will be on her 4th glass and dropping the bombshell that her dog in a handbag has left her for a Fendi Baguette. Doof doof doof...

A comedy of errors from start to finish. The host did ask for our opinion when leaving, so on reflection here it is:

Booking with an expectation to be dining within the main bar dining area (not even a mention of any other area at booking or on your website), only to be thrown into the event/group dining room, which seems to be the “overflow” room. This room was cold, sterile and completely devoid of atmosphere. Even on arrival I sensed the female host was aware that she was palming us off to a table we were not expecting citing something like it’s nice and quiet up here. If I wanted a formal, quiet dining experience then I would have stuck with my reservation at the Five Fields (regretful that I hadn’t.) I sensed that we were not the only ones to feel this way about the room. The tables are so poorly designed or not laid out the correct way. Way too long I felt I was pretty much dining alone or actually so close to the neighbouring tables that I was dining with them and not my partner. The waiter knocked the table so that 1/3 of my cocktail spilled onto the table and me. He said he would bring me a new one. This didn’t happen. There was only one waiter assigned to the room and with a large group in the “dining room” to also attend to, this meant we were left for long periods with no service . We had to seek out one of the food runners to ask for the wine list and again to ask for the bill after watching this waiter stop for a 15min chat with another table. Food was good but completely ruined by the entire experience and lack of any atmosphere. My fish was cold but didn’t bother complaining as by this point I just wanted to be able to eat at the same time as my partner and get out of there. The kitchen ran out of two preferred starter choices before 8pm leaving limited options there. 6.2. I like dogs, but usually prefer not to dine with giant huskies with their dog bowls under my table. Hoping that the evening would be somewhat redeemed by dessert, we opted for the plum tartin, whilst nice was extremely excessive for two people. The waiter should suggest this for a min of 3-4 people. So wasteful!

I’m sure things...

Christmas menu review: Delightful atmosphere + service, but the food was disappointing and didn’t feel like it was worth the price tag. Would highly recommend a visit for a drink (or potentially the al la carte menu).

Atmosphere: Delighted to try this pub for the first time. We were after cosy English countryside pub vibe with a fireplace. And we got it!

Service: Attentive service. Always staff available and present. Great with my allergies (nut and soy)

Food: Sold as a family-sharing style menu which suggests generous portions. Was more tasting menu style with smaller portions. Review of each dish below. If I was to return I’d just order a classic main (e.g. sausage and mash, pie) rather than a themed menu.

-Bread with butter: Waitress announced this was truffle butter which excited us. Turned out it was just butter. Turkey Sausage Roll: Tasty Mushroom Marmite Éclairs: Tasty Chalkstream Trout Gravadlax: Fresh but underwhelming Gladwin Chorizo: Friend enjoyed this. Had a bit of a heat. Endive: Never received Scottish Scallop: I really liked this. Would have liked 2 scallops per person Sussex Partridge Popcorn: Good fry but dry Pollock & Chard Wellington: Was fine. Left wishing we went for venison. Not much flavour. Rosemary & Thyme Potatoes: Smaller ones were nice but bigger ones were far too dry and potato heavy. Not sure there was any rosemary and thyme Brussels Sprouts: Different which I liked but again it was bland and dry Puddings: Enjoyed pudding the most as there was lots of flavour which was missing throughout the above items. Yorkshire Parkin was a meh sticky toffee pudding. I’d swap for a sticky toffee pudding if serving this. The mulled wine cheese was packed with flavour. I enjoyed but my friend was overwhelmed by the...