Browns Milton Keynes — Restaurant in Milton Keynes

A disappointing experience. Avoid.

My impression of Brown's is of a chain restaurant carefully calibrated to extract maximum profit from its customers. It is styled as a premium brasserie, but the food, the drinks and the delivery let it down badly.

There's a fundamental flaw in the MK layout as well, which put me off and I'm sure other customers. It's the positioning of the toilets just off the main restaurant, which meant the smell of the toilet detergent permeated around half of the dining area. We moved tables halfway across the restaurant to avoid the smell of the toilets - it's not a start that a visit can easily recover from. This visit didn't!

For anyone ordering a cocktail, I'd simply suggest that you don't. I had an Aperol Spritz, which was soda and ice that had been briefly introduced to Prosecco and Aperol, but tasted of... soda water. At more than £10, I'd suggest some flavour and alcoholic content might be in order, and this confirms the feeling that a customer is really a cover with a profit per head.

Our new seats gave a glimpse into the kitchen, with pre-packed portions of food on display. The surf-and-turf for two further gave the game away, coming as two separate portions rather than a sharing plate. This rather confirmed the impression of pre-packed portions (a steak, a half-lobster, and a tub of fries). The lobster halves were small and dry. We didn't attempt to match them up to see if the halves belonged to the same lobster. We were warned on arrival that only two and a half lobsters remained. I suspect they really meant five portions of half-lobster.

The wine was pleasant but unremarkable. An Irish Coffee at the end was a particular low-light, with staff arguing amongst themselves and the coffee itself rather cold and a second attempt at that (frantic banging occurring from the bar area behind us in the long build-up to the coffee's appearance). It was slightly uncomfortable when the coffee finally arrived, knowing the anger and frustration poured into its creation (rather than 'lovingly crafted').

In summary, I strongly recommend that you avoid Brown's MK, and on this presentation, any iteration of the brand. Colleagues at other sites might be upset at this, but the staff in MK didn't manage to rescue the experience. They certainly weren't at fault for the location and smell of the toilets, but they were unable to overcome the weak cocktails, insipid food and general sense of 'money for old rope' by providing excellent service (it wasn't excellent service, to be clear). They weren't terrible, but they didn't exactly live the brand, which I suspect is how you're supposed to carry a profiteering chain-restaurant model...

In browns for a Xmas work Event, pre-set Xmas menu;

I didn’t have the joy in organising the event, so I don’t have much input in how easy it is to book a table with a big number of people attending however from what I had heard the Brown’s team was very good with taking our booking.

The settings in Browns was nice. Our table was sat next to a pianist close enough to hear over the talking and laughing but not loud where it drowned out the restaurant however the table that we were allocated wasn’t the best for seating, the chairs was uncomfortable, almost like a barstool with a back. It was hard and sitting down for 3+ hours with the style of restaurant it was I think the customers comfort should also be in mind. That being said with the amount of people that attending I think if they had but a little break within the table so that people could get out for like toilet and smoke breaks wouldn’t have gone a miss, as I would say we had to get up maybe 4 times to shuffle along to let someone out. The staff was helpfully and friendly. Cannot fault the service! 👌🏽

Off to a great start with the starters I personally had the Prawn Cocktail, the portion size was good and maybe the biggest I’ve had yet! The sauce tasted terrific, thick and creamy but not over powering you was given a decent amount of prawns which was a bonus, the lettuce and prawn ratio was just correct! From what I know everyone was happy with their starters. 🌟

With the Starter being as good as it was, I think my expectations was high for the main meal, the portion size again was not letting them down we was given extra veg for the table which I think was a good touch however I think this should of hit the table before the mains did! You were given what looked like a cocktail sausage size pig in blanket, disappointing! 😔 And the same description would give for the stuffing, Disappointing! 😪 Both was small which was a let down considering how much food was on the plate! Had to ask for gravy as extra gravy wasn’t put on the table.

The desert!! I’m allergic to chocolate so I am always limited to what kind of deserts I can have which has kind of made me a cheesecake snob, BUT! I would probably say this was one of the best cheesecake’s I have had! 🏆 I would over loved if I could have had some more strawberry/raspberry sauce (but that’s just person preference) however It didn’t need it! Would have got another slice if I...

From a simple Google search, I took some European delegates here after an industry workshop and one of them had special diet needs. I use the telephone autobooking service which was very simple and quick. When we arrived we were greeted well and accommodate swiftly to our table. The selection of drinks and menus was very good and we each had a different dish. I'm particularly fond of Pork Belly as I adore Bavarian cuisine. Whilst not done to that style, I got to experience a different way of this being exquisitely cooked to perfection. The skin was not crisped but succulent and easily cut with a table knife, the petit apple pie was tangy and very complementary, mash perfectly creamy, beans aldente, and the gravy deep in character. There was shavings of crackle which although a bit modest in quantity did not detract from the dish at all. There's always one European that has to indulge in the stereotypical Fish and Chips. The plate was cleared before anyone else's. I notice in the brief time it sat on their plate the chips were perfect shape, size, crispy but perfectly fluffy white inside. The fish smelled intoxicating with perfect light crispy batter and although there was discussion on how appropriate it was to have minted mushy peas, not a spot was left. My other colleagues indulged in different steaks cooked to their request, one of them also enjoying the Gluten free option. These folk took their time to relesh in the meat, water cress and dressings with perfect fries (skinny chips). Desert was quite splendid too with Eaton mess perfectly balanced in consistency, cream and fruit explosion, sticky toffee pudding and the Stewed Prunes which was described as perfectly balanced between sour and sweet. The dessert wine was a hit as was the usual vino suspects. All in all a very delightful experience with service quality that matched the cuisine quality.

We all dined for £35 a head including drinks which for this kind of quality was quite surprisingly reasonable indeed.

A most pleasant experience that I would highly recommend...