River House — Restaurant in Park

So, how would you feel if a restaurant deliberately decided not to serve you something you had asked for? At the start of the meal I asked if they had any stout (or malty dark beer) – there was none mentioned on the main menu – as I’m not such a fan of lager or hoppy beers, which I explained. The waitress then went away, had words with the head chef, and brought me back a very hoppy red beer with the proviso that I could return it if I didn’t like it. Needless to say, I didn’t like it, so I ended up ordering wine instead, which was very much a second choice. Imagine my surprise then to see the following words staring at me from the dessert menu: coffee-infused STOUT, a dark and rich blend of six varieties of malt ... Well, I was confused; what could have happened? It must be out of stock. No, indeed I could have one now, with dessert, if I wanted to – though I never drink beer after wine – but I wasn’t allowed one with my starter or main meal because, according to the head chef, the beer was too heavy! When I posited that surely stout is a historical companion to oysters and other seafood, something the restaurant more-or-less specialises in, I was given a bizarrely illogical argument of how River House, which prides itself on locally sourced products, prefers to offer cava (a drink that is certainly not local) with their oysters as there are no good locally brewed stouts available. Except the one that I was prevented from enjoying with my meal, presumably! I was gobsmacked. Having been in one or two pretentious restaurants in my time I’ve never come across such unalloyed arrogance, where customers are expected to bow to the head chef’s superior knowledge. I was left with the thought that here is the perfect illustration of 'big fish, small pond' syndrome, whereby the River House restaurant, puffed up by its artificial status, decides it knows much better than its customers, who must presumably be a bunch of ignoramuses. Yes, the River House is no doubt one of the better restaurants in Inverness, but quite frankly it’s not as good as it thinks it is. The menu is overly repetitive – almost every dish comprised of white fish in one form or another – and not especially inventive, while there were no vegetarian mains on offer whatsoever, which is a shocking oversight, or perhaps just another example of the chef’s arrogance. All in all an incredible experience, but not...

At the end of the day, the oysters we ate were worth more than one star but the reason I give this rating and take the time out of my vacation to post this review is because of the service. We are a young couple traveling Scotland with a much looked forward to stop in Inverness. Before the trip I had picked a number of restaurants based on reviews, prices, etc. River House was one that came up in my search with their advertisement of £1.00 Oysters for an hour on Fridays. What better way to get a taste for some Scottish seafood?! Or so I thought... upon entering the establishment my boyfriend and I were met with skepticism in the "do you have a resveration?" with a more than half empty restaurant. Maybe we weren't dressed as the rest of the patrons and yes we had a small backpack on us but nevertheless we were seated and watched everyone around us (seated much later) recieve their table bread and table banter long before us. When finally acknowldged by the server we proceeded to order two drinks and a platter of oysters. We were very aware of the fact that every other table the the restaurant received at least one visit from the chef. Asking how their food was and making conversation but for some reason we were never approached. We had every intention of ordering more food but the attitude from the staff completely turned us off. It took quite a while to be checked on to receive our bill and upon leaving the restaurant we were met with "have a good evening from the chef from the back". Too little too late buddy. We did nothing to deserve anything less than everyone else in your restaurant. Travelers beware, you are not...

Excellent dining experience so nice to finally find a restauranteur that values quality ingredients and simple preparation to over-thought, overly complex “inventiveness”. The Orkney scallops are a shining example of Alfie’s approach -perfectly cooked with a touch of lemon, garlic butter and a nice blend of parsley and coriander, simple and delicious! The fried oyster was a crispy cloud of sheer delight! For mains we had halibut and the seafood linguini both lush the only knock I would say was the pasta was light on the seafood ingredients. Lovely, cosy dining room with a nice vibe and banter urged on by Alfie’s table side manner. Now for the negative part, I was pleased to see a proper martini in the “drink bible” (2 parts to 1 of course!) there’s no bar so the waiter makes the drinks (never a good sign in my experience) and in our case she added olive brine to my drink! I’ve been drinking martinis for 40 years now and I loathe “dirty” which unfortunately is what you often get when you order martinis these days. When I tasted the drink it tasted salty and when I asked her she denied it (my wife saw her add it from the jar) frankly I was so taken aback I didn’t quite know how to respond so, in the interest of preserving our experience I decided to just drink it anyway (she did offer to remake it). Very odd and my reason for the lower service rating but I wouldn’t let it deter me from...