Dolphin Cafe — Restaurant in Perranzabuloe

If you’re looking for a truly unforgettable dining experience, this is the place — mostly because you’ll spend the whole ride home wondering how it’s still in business.

The chips? A masterclass in supermarket freezer cuisine — straight from the bargain aisle to your plate, still tasting of “just defrosted.” The sausages were cooked with such dedication that they’d make perfect cricket bats.

The staff? Honestly, it’s like they drew straws to see who had to turn up that day. Zero enthusiasm, zero effort, and about as much warmth as a tax return. The highlight of the service was the lady behind the counter perfecting her expression of complete confusion — it’s almost performance art.

And don’t even think about grabbing a takeaway to sit outside on the benches. Oh no. Apparently, the sacred rule here is that you may only eat in public view if your food has been ceremoniously delivered on a plate. So if your dream is to be told off for daring to eat a humble bacon bap outdoors, congratulations — you’ve found the right spot.

In short, if you enjoy being underwhelmed, overcharged, and slightly scolded, this cafe is an...

Stayed in Perranporth for a week in March, first morning (a Sunday) we sought out breakfast. We found the Dolphin Cafe. Hubby had the No4 breakfast and I had the Meat Free, unlike many other places this didn’t include a meat substitute, and it certainly didn’t need to. It was delicious, perhaps a bit Carb heavy but hey that’s what holidays are for. I sat there doing a happy dance whilst eating. We got chatting to the staff/owner who were so lovely and friendly asking us where we planned to go and giving us tips.

Just a note in answer to a couple of comments I have read about the Takeaway. This is a kiosk separate to the cafe, so to enter you would have to leave the kiosk and go into the cafe by a different entrance therefore I can totally understand why the owners would not want people using the cafe as a waiting room for takeaway customers. No you are not special, no your circumstances are not unique, yes you need to adhere to the rules like everyone else. So stop trying to ruin peoples businesses because you weren’t treated like the princess you clearly...

Lovely view of the beach, but the food is mediocre at best. Pair that with tourist prices and poor service, and you get the Dolphin Cafe.

We arrived 10 minutes before lunch service began and asked if we could order drinks first, then food once service started. The lady behind the counter didn’t like the idea and initially refused, saying it would confuse them and everything had to be ordered at once. When I mentioned to the missus that we could look for another place, they changed their mind.

Unfortunately, the drinks didn’t arrive until 25 minutes later at the same time as the food. One of the four drinks, a tea, was forgotten and came without sugar. When we asked for sugar, we were met with a puzzled look and told it should be on the tables, which it wasn’t.

If you're just looking for a spot to sit and enjoy a drink, this will do. But if you're after good food, there are better options in...