Hotsy Totsy Club — Restaurant in Albany

This place, that has been there in different iterations for decades, most notable to me, for its proximity to "El Autulense", taco truck, gives me mixed feelings depending on how I feel, which is a feeling in and of itself.

Staff there is neutral, bordering on crisp or cold perhaps, unless you know them and you're one of the cool kids, but effective. But I detected a little bit of attitude when I sat down there and merely smiled at the person working.

I noticed that the music ranged from 8-bit Saturday morning cartoon special commercial remixes, to retro garden variety Euro art scum lounge music, which was a little distressing, since I am going through a very dansrychofaldian period In my life, and it seems to me that a lot of the people here would have been far more comfortable going home, ordering boba, and gooning out to anime, with all of their little post hipster baseball caps, "and fluffy bunny attitude".

Then things got really "boing boing la la"   (if you know what I mean. Wink, wink), when this heavily tattooed love penguin took a shine to me and bought me a drink. It was some interesting concoction I forget I think it had like cilantro in it or something like that, whatever the case when I asked the bartender person unit being employee, if they would make it a little stiffer, they gave me a jovian smirk, and said in the nasaliest tone you can imagine, "all of our drinks are premixed and the measurements are already set", as though they were explaining linear physics to a gorilla.

It dawned on me that love penguin had her hand on my leg at this point, and so, not being one to miss out on an opportunity I allowed her to corner me to the wall and we hit the mat with some division 1 tongue wrestling, to which the bartender unit person staff drink robot, merely looked over and shook their head, as though they were the icon of purity themselves, covered in nasty tattoos and suggestive clothing, oozing bordello sensuality, and cheap perfume. In other words, my dream boat.

The night was proceeding apace, when love penguin's significant other, a psychotic looking, love crazed, tattoo covered, red-eyed bodybuilder "vato" type, who looked as though they had just barely escaped a burning trailer park, on a meth binge, with a head wound,  appeared intent on focusing their rage on me.

Well I do not like to fight, I would much rather do the nasty with prison boy, so I calmed him down and bought him several drinks, and then I bought him some more drinks, and then I bought him some more drinks, right around the time that he was falling off of his stool, I exited the bar with love penguin in tow, and went to my car for some groovy bunny vibration therapy, when who else but the Albany Police department, would knock on my window and shine a flashlight in my face. Rolling down the window, I explained that I was a government official, on official business, and that love penguin was a suspect, in a lizard trafficking operation, and that I was, "debriefing" them. Apparently this satisfied the big, burley, bear like police officer, and they went about their normal routine of shaking down local businesses and making inappropriate jokes over police radio.

When I returned to the bar, love penguin's boyfriend, who I will simply call "CHAGO", because it sounds like some old western with Charles Bronson, had left, or been taken somewhere else. With the night winding down I noticed the distinct melange of indica, beer, tacos, and axe body wash.

Being a sophisticated person, and not easily able to Bear such excesses, I wrote my phone number down on love penguin's hand with a black sharpie and strolled out into the night and promptly barfed.

A successful night, and I recommend this place for people coming back from a funeral, joining a cult, or people on the 4B program. Fun...

Update:ONE OF THE PLACES I loved most, gavr of myself, and did all early work, just booted sober me who stopped in after years to smile and remember. Why? I am understanding the more self accepting and connected to Now I express, folks sort themselves for me. They will decieve themselves, not explain, label a smile. A look. Something Doesn't fit. Me. I am seeing clearer. I am habituating Now. It can only be uncomfortable regardless of my smile. Quiet, in a corner smiling. U am told I cannot set up shop where I had been encouraced to practice. Not changed. It seems like change. Contrast is like that. When any of yall arrive in Now, i will be here with a hug. Hotsy is not Nowm Goodbye my memories, I treasure you. Hotsy is not required.

!u mom no! All lpdate: they were complete jerks when I returned after a long absence and offered to paint a portrait of their establishment for free. The problem? Familiarity breeds contempt. There is a bartender there, a brunette with medium length hair, who decided she knew me, who I am as a person, along with her narrow view of my value. None of the employees has ever hung out with me, ever been to my home, or knows me in a way to qualify such judgements, yet that did not stop her from spreading rumors about me despite my always generous tips. That is a near catastrophic blow up of my entire several years supporting them with my patronage. Sad & unnecessary. Consider telling this bartender they are sabotaging the reputation of a place I once thought deserved 5 stars and a visit from anyone in the area, to a place I strongly advice entering without a firm understanding that they do not care about you, ever, only how much money you have in your pocket. You are not guaranteed a business in the community, especially if carelessly misuse the trust your patrons place in you by letting one bad apple spoil the whole bunch. I might go in and see if this is handled, but it is going to take a loooong time to regain my trust for this once impressive...

I want to like the Hotsy. Cool, old school bar vibes, solid cocktails.

The service, however, leaves a lot to be desired. The solo bartender is often overworked for sure, but unfortunately for me this led to my debit card getting stolen by a bar patron and then used at the Hotsy the very next night!

They keep your card if you open a tab, which is a bit antiquated these days. When I closed my tab recently I forgot to pull my card out of the mobile machine they placed on the counter. That was my fault. But then the bartender left the machine on the counter for so long that a patron took my card from the machine. Then, when the thief used my card the next night, the bartender didn't check the name or signature against an ID! I did go back to the Hotsy the next night to check for my card, but nobody could find it and really didn't seem too concerned about finding, either.

All of this could have been avoided if the bartender had not been trying to multitask so frantically that they couldn't just properly and fully close my tab, or check IDs to make sure patrons are using the correct debit/credit card! And this is notwithstanding Hotsy being the kind of place where patrons take advantage of customers and the overly busy bartender.

Update: Interestingly, I received a call from the Hotsy after posting my initial review telling me they magically found my card. I am not sure how this is possible after they couldn't find it the next night and a stranger used the card, but it does make me even more hesitant to...