Cody's Original Roadhouse - Crystal River — Restaurant in Crystal River

So let's talk about a guy named Daniel. I have stories about Daniel that are quite entertaining... so strap in and let's go for a ride here...

Hey Daniel! it's me - the short dude who bribes for the bill... thanks for a great evening! This is the review that gets you "Waiter of the Month" and the good shifts for at least two weeks... maybe even a free meal on your boss... (side eye to the boss - take care of this guy ;) ;) )

So, I've never been to Crystal River, Florida. However, when in Florida... one should visit Crystal River. We had plans to meet friends at a local restaurant that couldn't accommodate our party at the last minute... so we switched to Cody's. What a treat that was!

You see, when I ask you to dinner that means I get to pay. Especially for those more ornery dinner guests that try to get one over on ya, one must know, I always win. Always.

So, I pulled the classic Brandon (that's me folks - I'm Brandon). I show up early, go in, make the promise of an inflated tip (which I always deliver on!) and guarantee the bill makes it into no one else's hands, except mine. Daniel and I make our pact before our friends arrive and the evening is on track.

I'm going to skip all the other blah blah blah... menu selection was great. Price was on point. Service was EXCELLENT (thanks to Daniel!). Food was delivered as ordered. Salad was nice. Our company enjoyed the rolls. Other staff was polite. Ambiance was exactly what one would expect from a restaurant named Cody's in north Florida with a deck... it checked all the boxes.

Now back to the fun part of this review / story... so you see, I do this thing, when the meal is wrapping up, my wallet quietly disappears from the table. A credit card is placed between two fingers and placed just in view for a member of the wait staff to swipe it from me and make the bill go away... Well, well, well... as my wallet very quietly started to slip off the table I was ABRUPTLY interrupted by our dinner guests to be advised the bill had been taken care of for the evening! ::CLUTCHES PEARLS:: I HAD BEEN BETRAYED! B-E-T-R-A-Y-E-D! DANIEL! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME, SIR!?!?!?

Between the look on my face and the terror on Daniel's face as his life flashed before him, he knew the reconciliation had to be made...

...now, to be fair, Daniel is a man of his word. It came out through good laughter that he may have been cornered by dearest girlfriend... and albeit I do not know the details... I would not be completely surprised if she twirled a steak knife between her fingers while she forced him to run her card... he likely was in self-preservation mode for his life!

A great laugh was had by all... someone finally, after all these years, got one up on me... or DID they?

The guilt moved in, slowly and surely. Many visits to our table were made by Daniel... all the refills and plate clearing... when magically, a note is dropped very indiscreetly in my lap. It reads "BTW, if you really want me to, I can un-charge her card and charge yours to be sneakier". Boy if I didn't need the little boy's room suddenly, as a slide of the hand transferred my card to his hands. A quick trip into the restroom and magically, I had a receipt in my hands... VICTORY HAS BEEN HAD!

Daniel - you're the bomb. You've given us a story but even more importantly, a memory. The night someone ALMOST got one up on me... You've kept my perfect record in-tact and preserved my pride of being the guy that shows his love by buying the people he...

I recently went for my birthday dinner along with my husband and daughter. I also had a $10 off birthday email. The waitress (Alexis) was terrible. We asked about drinks, she had no idea what was on draft or what brand wines they have, and she kept saying the drink menu was over there. I finally asked her to go get it so we could see it. My daughter ordered a regular margarita with salt rim. It came unsalted. It tasted like limeade. It was weak and we didn’t taste any alcohol in it. The salad was warm and wilted. Not like the usual wilt. It was like it was made in a hot bowl. The dressing didn’t taste right either. Very strong vinegar. I ordered rib eye medium. It was hands down the worst steak I’ve ever eaten. It was room temp, zero seasoning, and extremely tough. I took two bites and left the rest on my plate. Everyone else’s food was mediocre. Either the temperature, or how it was cooked, etc. Our waitress must have known the people behind us, as she stayed stalled at their table talking about personal things with them. When she finally came back I told her I had a bday email for $10 off and she started grabbing for my phone. I told her she wasn’t going to handle my phone and she said well there’s a code. I was showing her the email. There isn’t a code. She said she’d send over the manager (Monika). Another 10 minutes and she came back asking if the manager came by, stating because you know how managers are. The manager walked up behind her. She looked at my email wanting to handle my phone. I said $10 off is not worth you handling my phone. She looked at it without her hands and saw the email was indeed for $10 off bday. The bill finally came and we paid without a tip! We never do this. We didn’t complain about the food or service, because to be frank, it’s not even worth it. We’d have been there so much longer, what would they do, heat my terrible steak up? Offer a new one that would come out in 30 minutes? We decided no tip is the best way to convey how we felt about our experience in a situation like this. When we got home we realized the side of the bench my husband and I were sitting on wasn’t clean and we had smeared, hardened mashed potatoes all over our backs and pants. Disgusting! Glad we didn’t leave a tip!

We will absolutely never go back there or any other Cody’s. So gross! This place needs to...

I ordered a full stick of onion rings for our table, but it was disappointing to see the group seated behind us, who arrived much later, receive a full order after only having placed a half stick order. When our food finally arrived, it turned out to be just a half order of the onion rings, which was frustrating.

To make matters worse, another group to our left, who had also ordered long behind us, was served their salads well in advance. I understand that serving a table of three—two adults and one teenager—can be a challenge, but it felt like our order was neglected. After I pointed out that we had ordered a full stick of onion rings, the staff took the half order back to address the mistake, but we were still left waiting.

As we continued our meal, we noticed that no rolls were brought to our table until we were nearly finished. Every time we asked about them, we were told they were "still in the oven," which felt like an excuse rather than an explanation. The onion rings, when they finally arrived, came with a lackluster story from the server and were unfortunately cold.

From my vantage point, I could see how the kitchen prepared the onion rings. It seemed they simply took the half order back, added a few more rings, and returned it to us. The server, who wasn't particularly attentive, suggested holding our meals back until we could enjoy the onion rings fully. Honestly, her comedic timing may need some refining; it fell flat in the moment of our disappointment.

As for the rest of our meals, I ordered the steak tips with mushrooms and onions. However, the dish hardly lived up to its name, as there were only a few mushrooms thrown in. It felt more accurate to call it steak tips with onions only. My fries were mediocre at best—soggy and lacking flavor. My wife opted for the catch of the day and described it as merely "okay," while our child had a hamburger, which also received a lukewarm review of “just okay.”

After years since my last visit to this location in Crystal River, the experience reminded me exactly why we hadn’t returned. The service was lacking, and the food did not meet expectations, making it a forgettable outing.

I added photos of the cold onion ring, how the rolls came out...