Hiram's — Restaurant in Fort Lee

There's something about 20 degree weather that just makes me hanker for a good weenie. I decided to mosey over to Hiram's for a no-frills lunch yesterday afternoon. A chum of mine brought me here a little over a year ago for a pleasant post-hike meal, so I had no qualms about returning and braving the elements in Fort Lee.

Unless you live in the immediate area, the location can be a bit of a turnoff - if you're coming from the west, you're basically playing a metaphorical game of chicken with the GW Bridge before turning right at the last minute. You really have to pick and choose your moments, traffic-wise. Hiram's is also on a busy road with an awkward parking lot that can get crowded easily and require some strong k-turn skills. If you get anxious at the thought of having to wait a minute or two for cars to pass before turning onto a road, this is not the establishment for you.

The actual restaurant is unapologetically blue collar, with a lot of personality. If you've been to a hot dog stand or a Texas Weiner place pretty much anywhere, you already have the basic idea. Unless you've been here before, it's a little confusing to know where to go - there's an entrance on the left that's exclusively for to-go orders, and an entrance on the right for either option. I went into the to-go section and then had to awkwardly go to the other entrance to pay and sit down. (Not a big deal, but just be aware.) It's a cozy area with probably five tables and a counter to sit at. I chose the counter since it seemed like the warmest area and I thought being able to feel my paws would be important once the food showed up. You also get to be right up close to watch/hear the discourse between the employees, which was very pleasant. Lot of good-natured RIPs about the recently departed Meatloaf.

I ordered two chili weenies and an order of plain fries. Everything came out within five minutes. (Frankly, I'm not sure I've ever had to wait much longer than that for weenies, so if you do, that's a giant red flag in my opinion.) The weenies were very solid - a little bigger than I prefer, verging on Ballpark size (I like a strong bun/weenie equilibrium). It was a little too hot, and I ended up burning the roof of my mouth. Depending on the food, I think that's more my fault for being impatient and not waiting an extra minute or two, but your opinion can obviously vary there.

The chili sauce is above average; I like that it doesn't have chunks of shizzle in it and is basically just a meaty brown sauce. It was slightly bland and could have used some seasoning, but it was still tasty. I was pleased as punch to see that the buns were slightly toasted - that's a quality that often goes under the radar but makes a difference. The fries were mostly crispy but did need the ketchup for flavoring purposes. The price point is excellent for this type of food - if you're spending more than $10, you must have purchased quite a sizeable pile of weenies.

My go-to for this type of meal was the recently-departed Libby's Lunch in Paterson. This is almost as good as that, and definitely worth a trip outside...

The Foodie travel for food pilgrimage. For pilgrims making their journey be ready for the best hot dog in the country.

Located in the historic riverside city of Fort Lee, Hiram’s is literally a landmark, should be in the same category of historic landmarks near by such as the George Washington Bridge, the Palisades, and the first motion picture studio…..except Hiram’s is a landmark much better, they have chili cheese dogs.

How to order: door to the right is to sit and eat, door to the left, to go orders.

First all, what is better than a hotdog joint that has been around for 80 years? The fact they serve cold beer with food.

Cash is king, make sure you have some. And tip. The guys working there are absolute professionals. Their skill set is purely focused on getting in your order, taking your money and feed your face as quickly as possible. So do yourself and them a solid since this is a very popular spot, pre plan in your head your order. Don’t waste their time and the line behind you humming and hawing trying to decide what you want.

Back to historic spots near by. Nothing is better than making a trek to Hiram’s with your family ordering a plethora of hot dogs and onion rings and taking a short ride to the George Washington Bridge Park located under the GWB. The sight of NYC skyline from the view of New Jersey water while stuffing your face with the best hot dogs cannot be beaten.

If you decide to eat in, they have a cool nostalgic dining room. You place your order and you go find a seat, if there any left. Off hours you will find seating. If you’re lucky enough you lucky enough to get a seat, sit back and take in the history. Looking at the walls with signed picture of the Sopranos cast and signed picture of Anthony Bourdain 30 years ago. This is definitely a memorable experience.

If you travel for food, this is your place. Drive carefully and...

If there was a way to leave zero stars I would. I went in and placed my order. The woman taking it noticed my Service Dog and Service Dog in Training and then refused to fill the order I had just given her. She served the people who came in before and after me and then refused to serve me in the same manner. I was told not to pull the disability stuff and that nothing was wrong with me. My Service Dogs stood patiently waiting the entire time just as they are supposed to. I have had a need for a Service Dog for many years and have never been denied access to order food at a restaurant just like every other customer. I definitely don’t recommend this place, esp if you need to use disability related medical equipment!!

Just saw the response from the owner. I have the video recording from the incident verifying that everything said by the owner is untrue. They were told by the police that they violated the ADA. My behavior was neither disruptive or inappropriate. My dogs were in their Service Vests and the owner and his wife both refused to read the ADA information. In fact they yelled over me when I attempted to read it to them. They never offered to take my order and then bring the food outside to me. They just flat out refused to take my order. The police came at my request. I’m sure that the officer who got to witness the owner screaming at us at the top of his lungs in the parking lot would disagree with the owners assessment of who the...