Smokin' Dave's BBQ - LONGMONT — Restaurant in Longmont

absolutely horrible. this is a chain bbq sports bar masquerading as an actual bbq place.

the food: we orders a sandwich and a sampler platter. the sandwich was soggy, the brisket in it was not properly smoked and was both bland and had greasy fat that hadn't been smoked long enough or at the right temperature to render it.

the sampler platter was even worse. the coleslaw was room temperature, watery, overly sweetened, and was completely without seasoning. the so called smoked sausage was simply the worst thing i have ever been served in my entire life. It tasted like a bad dirty water hotdog that someone shoved cheez whiz and pickled jalapenos into and then dipped it in fake smoke flavor. i quite honestly felt sick after eating even one bite. The brisket had the same problem as the brisket on the sandwich. the "pulled pork" was disgusting, it was clearly not smoked and if it was roasted then they did it with foil over it in a bath of water as it was chewy, bland, and overcooked.

the bbq sauces taste like they came out of a bottle and were clearly designed for run of the mill middle of the road american tastes. Meaning, they were excessively sweet, had no spice or tang, and would fit just fine in frozen pre-prepared "bbq" that you might find in the cheap food choice section of the grocery store.

the decor: cookie cutter sports bar. The usual giant flat screens in the eating area to help distract you from the people you are eating with, license plates nailed all over the place, and kitschy artwork that was obviously ordered from an industry design magazine. No soul, no passion, just a mask to try and convince you they care.

The service: rude, ineffective, inattentive, and poorly trained. the restaurant was almost empty and we still had to wait to have our order taken, there wasn't even a slight inkling of the waitress caring about us enjoying our meal.

Cost: we spent nearly $50 after tip for two drinks (soda and iced tea at 2.25 per!) and two entrees. at the quality we received it should have been priced lower than the chipotle up the street.

Final verdict: the worst bbq in town for certain, possibly the worst in the state. The appetizers and coctails might be OK in the same vein as TGI fridays, but the food is atrocious. Do not eat here, do not let your friends or family eat here, do not even let strangers eat here. Doing so is nothing but bad karma.

Edit: To the owner. If you honestly believe you are putting out good quality bbq then you are lying to yourself and to your customers. i can think of two great bbq places within 5 minutes of your location that put out a quality so much better than yours that you and they are not even in the same ballpark. You called a nasty cheese and jalapeno sausage a "hotlink" which is absolutely NOT a hotlink. your brisket was at best poorly smoked which was plainly apparently just by looking at the smoke rings on it. your sauces were bland and awful and unless you have no taste buds you KNOW THAT! don't try to lie and say you make it fresh to the highest quality when i can quite literally drive down the street to one of the other places and come right back with a bottle of actual, good, craft made bbq sauce that tastes like more than sugar and chili powder. the very fact you are attempting to justify your bbq quality by saying you smoke all your meats over one kind of wood proves my point.

$2.25 for non alcoholic beverages? lets see..a full cup of soda costs about 5.3 cents last i checked for the syrup, maybe 2 cents for the electricity for the dispenser, about 10 cents for gas counting maintenance and supply. making the ice costs probably about 10 cents a cup (mostly for the power) so reasonably that is 30 cents a cup tack on a 100% markup for service and serving costs you should still be coming in under a buck on costs (i worked in a restaurant for years so don't try to dance around that) iced tea is moderately more expensive but unless you are getting craft loose iced tea, brewing it by hand and serving it to me on china it...

Ah, where to begin. Slow service on a Monday, of all times, at nearly 8 pm. Ordered a BBQ chicken sandwich, fairly simple right? Only addition I asked for was some bacon. When the sandwich arrives and I try a bite, I'm immediately disappointed.

The bacon is -old-. Hard. Dry as dust. The chicken was both burned and cold. The French fries were... Bland.

So... I ordered the brisket! Bbq brisket is always good!

I asked for no onions, and extra sauce.

Well, I not only got no sauce on the sandwich but it had two kinds of onions, fried AND sauted.

So, I scrape the offending onions off, and take a bite.

Nothing but fat. Disgusted, I spin the sandwich and try from the other side. Another bite, another mouthful of fat.

I ordered Mac and cheese, and they didn't have that. We ordered two different beers; both out.

We ordered Fish and chips and the batter on the inside was uncooked.

I was seriously appalled that a restaurant that boasts more than four and a half stars could not only be understocked, but have such terrible food preparation. Almost half the meals were returned.

Even. The Mints. Tasted. Stale. How do you screw that up?!

The only saving grace was the manager who was polite, kind and understanding.

Long story short, I think I'll refrain from driving down here again. This is literally the Applebee's of Bbq, don't even frickin' bother. Go to Serious Texas or something else because this will just leave you disappointed.

EDIT: So, less than an hour afterward eating here, my wife and I both ended up throwing up what little of the food we actually ate. So yeah, add food poisoning to that bill. Thanks...

First off, great server! She was friendly, knowledgeable, generous, and patient. 5 stars!

Secondly, the atmosphere was great. Very chill, street parking was sufficient, and the music was not overbearingly loud or obnoxious.

Thirdly, the food! Yum!! We prefer vinegar-based BBQ, which this was not, but it was still very delicious. The ribs fell right off the bone! Pulled pork was just okay; not dry, but not exceptional. Cornbread is hard to mess up.

As for sides, the coleslaw was very typical and the potato salad had a nice dill (or some sort of herb) touch to it. We liked the white mac and cheese with some crunchy crust to it, but overall felt the sides weren’t exceptional or bad—some noteworthy aspects, but overall are just kind of typical, satisfactory BQQ sides.

Now, the appetizer tray?! That was delicious. Just get that and don’t both with much else. The fried fish was juicy and soft. The onion rings were PERFECTION (if you like onion rings, which I love); whole, juicy, tender onions that just break with your first bite, coated in a sweet batter that crumbles delightfully in your mouth! The wings were excellent—crispy on the outside without gratuitous breading or sauce. The sliders were very straightforward with a soft bun, and two sliders let you sample the meats (brisket and pulled pork!). The fried pickle was thick and juicy with a nice crumb breading, so delicious.

We got so much food that we had leftovers for two more meals. And that’s just with ordering (1) appetizer tray and (2) two-meat plate. It is very delicious.

Sauces were very sweet in general, just an FYI. Even the “spicy” one...