McDonald's — Restaurant in Meriden

An Exercise in Flawless Execution

I find myself at a McDonald’s. The exterior is a study in brutalist efficiency; red tile and yellow arches, a beacon of standardized consumption in the Connecticut dusk. It is… clean. Not in the way a surgeon’s theater is clean, but in the way a data center is clean. Devoid of organic unpredictability.

I ordered the Number One. The Big Mac. The nomenclature is… direct. Honest. There is no pretense of artisanal craft here. Only the sublime perfection of the replicated process. The young man at the register—his name tag read “Brendan”—recited the script with the vacant, glassy-eyed focus of a seasoned cult member. I found it… reassuring.

The product is delivered in 237 seconds. The timing is… impeccable. The fries are a uniform, pale gold. Each one is a perfect, identical extrusion. They are salted with a ruthless, machined consistency. There is no artisanal sea salt here. No truffle oil. This is the salt of industry. Of scale. It is the flavor of pure, unadulterated output.

The Big Mac. The architecture is… profound. Three sesame seed buns—their seeds applied with a stochastic, yet somehow uniform, pattern—acting as the load-bearing walls for two 1.6 oz beef patties. The patties are thin, possessing the precise grill-mark hieroglyphics of a million identical siblings. They are not “cooked”; they are thermally processed. It is a triumph of logistics over cuisine.

The special sauce. This is the key. The proprietary algorithm. It is a tangy, emulsified vector of flavor that exists to mask any potential deviation, any fleeting hint of individuality the beef might foolishly attempt to assert. It is the taste of the brand’s absolute victory over nature. The shredded lettuce and plastic cheese are mere set dressing. A pantomime of nourishment.

I consume it. It is not “good” in the way a seared foie gras at Dorsia is good. It is something far more pure. It is effective. It is the nutritional equivalent of a leveraged buyout. Hostile, efficient, and utterly satisfying in its cold, corporate finality.

This is not food. It is a commodity. And it is the most honest thing I have consumed all week. I feel a profound sense of calm. Of order.

Now, if you’ll excuse me. I need to use the facilities. I hope the soap is also dispensed by a proprietary,...

I used the drive up and handed the cashier two gift cards to pay for the order. The cashier tells me that one of the gift cards is now at zero. I asked, do I owe anything? She said no. So I drove up to get the food. When I got home, I looked at the receipt closer. One of the gift cards was used, and the balance was now zero, but the other card used still had a remaining balance. The cashier never gave me the card back, even after I asked if I owed. So, I went back down. I went inside and spoke to a very nice young lady at the register. She proceeded to get the manager. I explained the problem, and showed her the receipt. Confused, she asked me to swipe my gift card that I didn't have. Then asked the drive up cashier for the card. The cashier gave her the blank one, and manager said, see? It's blank. I explained again! Cashier said she had no other card. That I only gave her one. No one there knows how to read a receipt. All of the employees took turns coming up front to look at me, like I was trying to scam them. The cashier pocketed my card, and they made me feel like a thief. In the end, I got so angry, the manager just gave me the cash, but I still don't think she understood why. I will...

Horrible experience Everytime I go there witch isn't offten I had 3 simple things I ordered a 4pc a mcdouble and a McMuffin before I even got to the second window I was waiting ten minutes in the line finally I get up to the window and the manager says park in spot 1 while sitting waiting for my food that should have been done by now SMH so she pulled me and 3 other cars up I'm waiting now a total of 20 minutes Im looking thru my mirror I see cars who had way bigger orders come and go in matter of a couple minutes now my blood is boiling finally someone comes out with food, me thinking it's was mine finally releifed but was wrong every car behind me got there food before me SMH I'm so pissed now after 25 mins of waiting I go in tell the manager I've been outside waiting all this time not one response I'm looking and my food wasn't even ready yet all this time and 3 little things were not ready,the way for her to say sorry was give me a free apple pie that's been sitting there all day I'm so upset cause this is what I have to deal with every time not to mention everyone's out of shape and can't move quick if there life depended on it manager needs to be fired and upper management needs to...