Citrin Restaurant — Restaurant in Santa Monica

Michelin rated sister restaurant of Melisse which is located in the bottom level. Came here to celebrate my parents’ anniversary and they had a little printed sign congratulating them. The ambiance is darkly lit with modern decor. Tasting menu is $165 as of March 2024 and includes four plates with the option for up charges. Everyone at the table must order the pre-fixe. Credit cards accepted. Valet parking available or you can opt for metered street parking. There were young kids in the restaurant. Service was alright - our waiter forgot that we told him that we only needed two wine glasses and instead brought out four in addition to some other minor complaints, so I took a star off for lack of attention to detail that other Michelin places have. Otherwise, the food was good, with my favorite being the dessert course. Some thoughts on what we tried below:

Asparagus panna cotta - the amuse bouche was fun to eat and incorporated both asparagus and white asparagus. It was creamy and cool.

Basil brioche - this came with French butter from Normandy. You could choose this or the French roll. The bread wasn’t warm but the flavor was unique, if the color a bit too on the leprechaun green side

Lobster bolognese - this is a molded pasta with butter foam on top (not your traditional pasta). Our waiter recommended just cutting into it like a bar, and it was fun to eat, if a bit cold.

Egg caviar kit - my dad absolutely loved this. It’s $25 extra but the caviar carefully placed into an egg shell was such a novel concept

White asparagus - another upcharge, but also worth it if you like morels. The brown buttery sauce on the bottom was umami and delicious.

Scallops - both my sister and mom opted for this. It was tasty and very tender.

Crudo - this came with a generous amount of five pieces. It had some foliage on top which looked very aesthetic.

Red mullet - my mom got this and the fish was cooked perfectly. The skin was crispy while the meat was flaky - she liked this a lot.

Lamb - this is recommended to be cooked medium rare, and I agree with that assessment. It was very tender with the right amount of fat for a juicy burst of flavor and salt.

Duo of beef - this comes with beef cheek and another cut. My sister preferred the lamb over the beef, which I agreed with.

Cherimoya - both my parents got this since they prefer a lighter dessert. It’s a tropical flavor and the restaurant added little candles for them to blow out.

Chocolate cake - this had a chocolate filling and came with ice cream on the side. I love the combination of hot and cold in a dessert, and felt like it was the right level...

A Masterclass in Mediocrity – Courtesy of a Michelin Star

Ah yes, Citrin—where culinary prestige goes to die slowly over the course of three excruciating hours.

We made the grave error of booking this disaster in disguise during restaurant week, lured in by the siren song of a Michelin star and what appeared to be a promising tasting menu. Spoiler alert: the only thing we were tasting by the end was our own resentment.

Now, I’ve dined at my fair share of Michelin-starred establishments, where excellence is expected and almost always delivered. Citrin, however, boldly redefined the concept of “fine dining” by offering a performance so disjointed and inattentive, it could have been a community theater production of Hell’s Kitchen—but without the charm.

The front of house? Missing in action. The back of house? Apparently using an Etch-a-Sketch to organize ticket times. Courses arrived with all the predictability of a broken metronome—one came after 45 minutes, another materialized when we were just about ready to stage a hunger strike. The portions? Let’s just say if you’re on a “breatharian” diet (you survive on air and disappointment), this might actually be a great fit.

After approximately nine polite bites of food and a lot of staring at an empty table like it was an art installation, we received a bill for nearly $400. Yes, that’s $44 per bite—Michelin math, I suppose.

And just when we were about to be wheeled out for malnourishment, a miracle occurred. Staff we hadn’t seen all evening suddenly materialized with saccharine smiles and hollow well-wishes, hoping we “enjoyed everything.” I imagine this was their version of customer service: vanishing during the meal, then appearing like phantoms once the damage was done. Of course hoping we would forget the last three hours of hell as we fill out the tip. I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve left a restaurant without leaving a tip, and this was one of them. Just to give you an idea of how bad the service was.

Look, I could write a thesis on the emotional arc of this meal—hope, confusion, hunger, rage, existential crisis—but I’ll spare you. Just know that if you’re seeking exceptional service, exquisite pacing, or even just… dinner, Citrin is not your destination. Unless you enjoy being charged luxury prices for the ambiance of an elevator waiting room and the nourishment of a juice cleanse, steer clear.

This review is my final act of generosity to humanity on this matter....

So disappointing. I really wanted this experience to be great, but it wasn’t. I have eaten in 1, 2 and 3 Michelin star restaurants in multiple countries and cities. Although Citrin does not have a star the expectations are set high by the way the restaurant is described, the fact it’s coming from a 2 star chef and the high price. The issue here really stems from the price for what you get. We spent $600 dollars for 2 people. There was nothing bad about the food or the service or the restaurant, but there was nothing great about it. This meal should have cost less than $300 dollars and you would just about be satisfied you were having an acceptable meal. Key points: the oyster at the start was a nice touch; the lobster pasta was nice; the sirloin was awful, again it was edible, but the expectations of this dish is something that’s going to wow you. You really had to cut through it and chew it. It should have been like butter!! the deserts looked good ish but tasted average. Again this should have been wow factors. service was way to fast. We had 3 dishes in about 45 mins. We had to ask for a pause before the deserts to enable us to catch up with our wine. we had half a bottle of champagne and a bottle of Pinot nior. There was minimal attention on toping up our glasses. So much so we had to ask for our champagne to be topped up after we had empty glasses for 5 minutes (the bottle was no where near our table so couldn’t do it ourselves). We should have easily been able to drink the champage with the fish course but due to this and the rediculous speed the courses were served we still had half a bottle by the time the steak came…and now a full bottle of red to drink! the staff were very pleasant but generally lacking any coordination. Several more junior members looked lost. there was a very loud and obnoxious American lady and her partner drinking at the bar. Instead of politely asking her to be quiet the bar staff engaged and joked with her shouty behaviour.

After leaving we felt deflated but we can joke and laugh about it now.

I feel sad and sorry for those people treating themselves to this type of experience for the first time. They would come away thinking that this is what great is…. And it’s not.

Josiah Citrin, you must do better. You are...