Smarty Pants — Restaurant in Seattle

The vibe grabbed me the moment I walked in and heard Drowning Pool playing in the background. There’s a drink special called “Jesus Built My Hot Rod” and a regular menu item called “Huevos Panteros.” A glorious sign at the door said in four colors that absolutely no one under 21 is allowed. The bar was stacked almost to the ceiling with brown liquor. It was only 9:15 AM and this was exactly my kind of place. (See photos)

The staff was super nice and laid back, and our server was there within a minute of us walking in. We just sat down wherever and we got coffee almost instantly. My husband LOVED the microcycle décor so much so he was muttering about getting another one again. It was not overly dark and wonderfully not glaringly bright in there. There’s even a cute little outside area that I would’ve gone for, if it hadn’t been 37 degrees. We were served promptly and the food came out quickly. The prices were very reasonable.

I really really really wanted to give this place 5 stars, but I can’t. The food just didn’t do it for me. For one, my breakfast was only warm when it came out, not hot like I expected. I got the López Benedict, which had bacon, grilled tomato and avocado, peeking out from under the hollandaise. I should have been wowwed by something so simple that it can’t be screwed up. Out of 2 poached eggs, one of them was overcooked, but not both. (?!) The hash browns were undercooked—like the center was still raw potato and it wasn’t crispy. I liked that they came presoaked in Tabasco, but they weren’t very hot. The server got us more hash browns right away (she was so sweet) and, this time, it was hot and cooked all the way through, but still not crispy. The avocado paste was brown, like it had been sitting out for a bit, but it wasn’t exactly green on the inside either. (See photo)

My husband got corn beef hash with thinly sliced corn beef bits rather than spatched chunks, which is different, and didn’t thrill his taste buds. (See photo) The dishes were well-plated and attractive, but not something we will come out for on their own merit.

I think that we may have hit the restaurant at a bad time because there were only 3 people working the entire place on a Saturday morning. There were already 3 tables occupied when we got there and 3 more groups came in within 30 minutes of us. The cook may not have been completely prepped; we did come right after it first opened. It wasn’t like he wasn’t paying attention because he was yakking with someone like in some of those more-attitude-than-service places. He was sweating over the stove and moving fast. A 4th person came in a couple of times, but left immediately like he ran out for something. Both my husband and I have worked on lines where they left you nothing from the night before, so you had to prep and cook at the same time when you got there. The poor cook was all by himself.

I’m willing to go back, possibly on a Wednesday “motorcycle” night (husband would like that) when they may be better staffed. We have friends in Georgetown that seems to go there often. I was thrilled by the whisky in the back bar. Maybe I should’ve had a drink with breakfast, but I wanted to give the food a sober review. I liked the ambiance, but the comfort food they advertised was just not...

I figured for a sandwich spot some of the bread was made my in house, but from what I saw they were all loaves you could by from the grocery store. We waited for our food for about 40-45 minutes, at first I thought maybe they were just backed up, but then I noticed people who came in after us had already gotten their food. Some were take out orders and one table had 2 orders of things you actually had to cook, the 4 of us all ordered sandwiches! The guy who was the server that day, seemed like he kept avoiding our table. He would check in with everyone one but us. It was only when he checked on the table next to us for a second time is when he asked how we were doing. I asked how much longer for our food and he looked like a deer in the headlights until he finally answered saying it should be coming out now. I think he knew he messed up, because he came right back asking if we wanted waters or anything else. Not saying this place is a bad place, I just wouldn’t pay $16-17 bucks for a turkey club when I could get it at Jersey Mikes for $8-$9 ON house made bread WITH a drink included. I’d drive an extra minute or so and head to Kathy...

Do you like giant, delicious, hot sandwiches? Who doesn't so stop on by Smarty Pants and load up! You won't go wrong with any of the choices on their menu. I usually end up going with the Chickenhawk or Pit Boss. They have Field Roast too and I believe you can sub it onto any variety.

For sides you can't go wrong with either the potato salad or coleslaw, just depends on your mood. The potato salad is the summer mayo classic variety and the slaw has more of a vinaigrette base. I usually get the slaw and add it to my sandwich just 'cause.

For Happy Hour, get the sandwich sampler. It comes with 3 generous portions of your choice of several popular sandwiches. It's a good way to try several varieties for cheap! Beer wise there's a good variety of rotating taps along with a big selection of bottles and cans. Full bar too if your in the mood to booze it up!

Make sure you stop by on a sunny night when the outdoor patio is open. It's a great space with trees, lots of tables and an awesome fire pit to sit around. It's the perfect relaxing spot in...