Beachwood Eatery — Restaurant in The Dalles

They have the worst delivery, my friend and I Ordered at 3:24 pm on March 7th, and we waited until 4:50 pm my friend called them back and the woman said there was a problem with her bank card. I herd my friend tell the woman five times her # on the first call. The girl told her everything was good before hanging up the first time. The second time the girl said she had the wrong # and know everything went through. Mind you my friend was giving a $10.00 tip too. At 5:30 pm no food, so my friend called again. The girl said she needed to see my friends Idea. My friend told her she wanted to take the tip off, that they had bad service. The girl said she tried to call both of us and on my phone actually talked to someone. Which was a lie, neather one of are phones had a call on them or ring, and I was by my phone the whole time and never talked to anyone. Anyway we headed down to the restaurant to get are food and pay. My friend went in and when she came out she said they never even started the food. She also said she showed her Idea and a guy came in and she asked if they were going to look at his Idea, he payed with a card too. They didn't even ask to see his Idea. The guy asked what was going on so my friend explained it to him, and then the girl told my friend she should give her the $10.00 tip. The manager came out and said the same thing that my friend should give the driver a $10.00 tip. We drove to the place and picked up the food are selfs and lost valuable time. We were in a process of packing up and cleaning my friends mom's house. We didn't get done until 8:30 pm because of this whole mess. I think no one should have gotten a tip and we should have gotten are food for free. The food is not worth the hassle you have to go through. The fries and tater tots tasted like fish so they didn't clean their fryer out. The guy who my friend confided in also agreed they didn't deserve a tip. Bad service, bad help. I'm not giving a good review, the owner should let these two people go, they are very rood and unprofessional. First time I ever ate at this place and it is the...

The waitstaff was ok. The food, however, was not. They had great water though. When a food review starts of with complimenting the water you know something is off. We started by ordering to burgers. “You can screw up a burger” we told each other. You’d be wrong. My sister’s blue cheese burger was horrid. It tasted as what can only be described as rancid bellybutton lint. The “bottomless” fries which made wish there was a bottom, were heavily salted and that’s an understatement. It tasted like licking a sweaty basketball players forehead. The we get to the bad part, because you thought the burgers were that bad but you are incorrect. I need to talk about the Pork Canitas Tacos and what an assault to humanity that was. They were clearly braised in bacon fat. The most disgusting thing I’ve ever had. You are better off finding good Mexican food at Taco Bell and I am Mexican. I cannot even fathom as to how someone and eat them and think they are even an ounce of tasty. After our brunch from hell I felt quite queasy. I had to go to the bathroom, URGENTLY. Now, I am not one for toilet humor as I find slightly low brow but what came out of my rear can only be described as the four horsemen of the apocalypse. I didn’t know the human body could even do that. RIP to the person who had to clean that Kmart bathroom. I tried to clean as best as I could. This Sunday’s mass will be in your honor. This place should be called The Last Supper because that is exactly what...

Three of us went for an early dinner. Two of us ordered burgers and the other ordered fish and chips. The food was not terrible but not amazing either. It was maybe a little better than Big Jim's (i.e attempting to be gourmet burgers but not quite getting there) but definitely more expensive. To be fair, the burgers were large patties and the buns were better than "normal." In this case, bigger isn't better. The fish and chips were lightly breaded and delicious. I thought they'd be frozen and just deep fried but they seemed to be hand breaded.These were a definite plus. The hand cut fries were not crisp or amazing. They were clearly fresh and hand made but not anything to have about.

The service was just okay. I had to remind the server of our drink order. She was attentive to refills. The food order came out all mixed up. The wrong burger with no tomatoes with the wrong side dish. Other than that, there was only the single server and she was hopping most of the time.

The "ambiance" seemed to be an attempt at like-a-Shari's-but-not-as-classy. The lumbar support on the bench was the best part of the booth experience. On the plus side, they were playing '70s music, quietly over the sound system.

Overall, unless we really get the urge for a salad bar in the Dalles, we won't...