Ranch Hand BBQ — Restaurant in Thousand Oaks

This one star review is because of the completely inappropriate blonde woman working the register. My work place was doing a BBQ and although we had the ribs already, I went to Ranch Hand to purchase all the sides and bread for catering. As I'm picking up, the sweet guy putting everything in the bag gave me 2 small cups of BBQ sauce (these are like side of dressing size tiny). The woman overhears and snaps at the guy and me that I have no meat and shouldn't get sauce. I explained it was for the meat we already had, and said it was just some sauce, at which point she snapped again at me that it was their most expensive ingredient. Funny, one would think the Meat and actual Food would cost more... Anyway, I would like to reiterate that I was asking for a total of 4 little cups of BBQ sauce that combined was Less than a quarter of a pint. She "allowed" me to have 2 that were already in the bag from the nice guy helping. As I was leaving I said to the nice guy that I was sorry, I didn't mean to get him in trouble, that I didn't realize she was a stickler about the sauce apparently. At this point the angry blonde woman (who should have been focusing on the long line of customers at the register in front of her), yells at me as I'm leaving to NEVER come back again and sarcastically starts yelling BYE! BYE! BYE! DON'T COME BACK! Over and over again. In front of all the customers in line during the lunch rush. I'm laughing to myself at this point because unintelligent people are always the loudest. All this trash behavior from her over me asking for a couple extra tiny BBQ sauces and apologizing to the nice guy helping that she was being a stickler about the sauce. I'm guessing she doesn't know the definition of "stickler" and probably thought it was an offensive...

I am so disappointed, ordered a tri-tip protein plate and got four little pieces of tri-tip, when I got home I was shocked at such a small portion. I called to complain and the manager called me back and was very defensive and argued with me. I told her I weighed the meat and it only weighed 3.1 ounces!! Supposed to be 4 oz. She wasn't happy about the weight and agreed that it should've been 4oz. As the conversation continued, I said even if it was 4 oz it still would be small for the price. Even the wait staff person that took my initial call said, "I should've told you that this protein plate is a small portion ". She agreed with, but the manager/owner actually got very defensive and fixated on my choice of words "presentation", to describe the small portion. She was basically arguing with me, then asked how she could make it right? After the exchange I didn't feel warm n fuzzy, so I said at this time I don't know what you can do, (hoping she would offer something to me). She said fine, and HUNG UP ON ME! I texted her to provide me the owner's name and phone number, she called back and said I was talking to her and the conversation didn't go any better. I will NEVER GO BACK! And I will tell everyone I know and will post this across social media! Sooo...

I really don’t enjoy hurting a business— which is why I am giving 3 stars instead of 2—but I feel like it’s my civic duty to warn future hungry souls: this BBQ is about as exciting as plain oatmeal on tax day.

I ordered the shredded brisket with two sides and garlic rolls for $28, which I now realize could have been better invested in literally anything else—stocks, scratcher tickets, maybe even a pet rock. For that price, I could’ve strolled into Woodranch, eaten like royalty, and still had enough change left to buy gum.

The brisket? A little chewy, kind of flavorless, like it had a long day and just gave up. The BBQ sauce tasted like it showed up late to the party and tried to cover for it with awkward small talk. The potato salad—normally one of my love languages—was so underwhelming I found myself daydreaming about the stuff from Sprouts. Yes, Sprouts would’ve been an upgrade. Let that sink in.

The garlic rolls were… there. Just there. They existed. They had mass and took up space. That’s about all I can say.

I left half my meal uneaten—not because I was full, but out of respect for my taste buds. RIP $28, you died in vain.

Ultimately, what this business needs is a chef who...