K Donut Wheel — Restaurant in Tucson

The last two months of the year are always full of a strange mix of anxiety and laziness. You have a combination of slowing down your work load to sort of match cooler weather and a general sense of ‘taking it easy’ because you know, whatever, the year is almost over. Why would I try and accomplish what I set to do out in January at this point? It’s a perfect time to embrace quiet-quitting at work, eating yourself into a stupor and hiding fat rolls under 3 layers of clothing while reflecting on mortality and telling everyone you come across “can you believe it’s december already??”

You both nervously chuckle and half smile and realize time is slipping away through your fingers faster and faster as the years pass by. You meet eyes and you both come to terms with the fact that sooner or later the abyss swallows us all and maybe its too late to increase your Red Dead Redemption honor meter in real life. Mariah Carey christmas music echoes loudly inside of the grocery store in the self checkout line and then you look at whats in your cart and its just cheap whiskey, Tums and Cinnamon Toast Crunch. And part of you wants to change right then and there but then you go “eh, i’ll just wait until January.”

Then on top of laziness, these last couple of months brings anxiety with the holidays and dealing with family and trying to be a responsible mass consumer during black friday, cyber monday and We Broke Wednesday. You feel obliged to participate in feasts, traditions and general insanity all the while your stomach is fuller than an STD clinic on spring break. They say to ‘get in the holiday spirit’ when the spirit looks like the guy outside of Circle K at 3am speaking tongues and dry humping the lawyer sign at the bus stop. We’re too fat and lazy to care, but too civilized to not care. Either way, it’s the best time to delude yourself into believing that calories are half-off just like electronics are and just eat all the things. Just the other day, while my family was in town and they were arguing about Trump and the Wicked musical movie, I was busy perusing the carb and sugary hell that were the snacks and confectionaries sprawled out on the table like a buffet of diabetes and heart disease. There was one big brown box in the middle and unlike Brad Pitt in Se7en, I wasted no time finding out what was inside the box. The top had a simple, red logo that said “K Donut Wheel” and I immediately said “K!” and opened the box to see a delicious looking orgy of donuts just stacked on one another just vying for attention. The screams and hatred in the living room just faded away as I locked in and felt like I was in a delicious dream. There were bear claws, chocolate glaze donuts, chocolate on chocolate glazed donuts, chocolate on chocolate on chocolate on chocolate glazed donuts, regular glazed, rainbow sprinkle, apple fritters, ham and cheese croissants and so much more.

Usually I like to trick myself and take only half a donut feeling all smug and proud of myself for about ten minutes before going right back to the box and getting the other half as if the time buffer somehow reduced the calorie intake. And then I cry in front of the bathroom mirror for accepting how weak and powerless I am and then go back for another. This time around though, I took one bite of the regular glazed and my eyes rolled to the back of my head as sheer ecstacy overpowered my mortal coil. Pretty sure the same thing happens right as you die. A pure, loving euphoria. The dough just melted in my mouth and the sugar danced on my taste buds. A strange animalistic noise came out of my possessed mouth after I inhaled a chocolate donut and a ham and cheese croissant and it was loud enough and sounded like an elk mating call enough to pause the arguments in the living room out of the fear of a medical or theologically induced emergency that they would have to attend...

First day back !!!! My family and I love this place! And just as I suspected day one was busy. But I can't blame all of the East side of Tucson because these are the best donuts i've ever had in my life... no exaggeration! They melt in your mouth and the flavor is to die for ! Just stop that is. I am so glad they were able to reopen and I will never go to the starbucks that took its original place on Kolb! I did see a few people this morning. Be a little bit rude because they were sold out of doughnuts. And all they had to sell were glazed for a little while. Please be patient as this is a family run business who have been a part of this community for a long time. This is one family run business that I love so much. And my kids love so much. We did have to wait forty five minutes but I expected that on day one. There were a few adults acting like fools and so upset causing a scene, Please just try to act like you have some sense. No need to be rude because you couldn't get a sprinkled donut. ✌️❤️ I am so glad that they are back. And I will be going back again every weekend like we used to do before the original location shut down. Thank you for...

Owner didn’t want me in here so she called the police. Don’t come to this donut shop. I had to call TUPD again to let them know that there was no emergency. And that the situation was neutralized.

A man came in subsequently and started asking me questions about where I was from. He is just as bad as the owner. He proceeded to buy a donut. Thanks for your solidarity sir how can I ever repay you 🫡

Turns out if you wear a bonnet in Tucson they don’t just call you ghetto they call the police on you. Stat.

Her businesses is dead anyway. No one there. She also kicked me out whilst claiming that her business is a “public place”. This is a total contradiction in terms. This woman was so annoyed by my existence as a human being, that even after I went to the supermarket twice after leaving her shop, she was looking for me. This was after she had called the police about me. Needless to say I don’t think the police saw it as a valid emergency, and decided not to waste their...