Toast 101 — Restaurant in Tucson

I am saddened that egg prices have risen but I feel they’re finally getting the praise they deserve. Like the ugly girl in high school who had a glow up 10 years later.

While I do enjoy me a viral video or two of crazy half-wits fighting in Wal-Mart or Costco over who gets to fill their carts with an over surplus of eggs like some dystopian poultry nightmare, the pain comes too close to home when you go to your happy place like Waffle House and see that they’ve now added a 50-cent surcharge to be implemented per egg. Gone are the days of flippin nickles on the counter and telling the toothless old man with scabs on the fryer that you’ll have the usual. Now you have to text your accountant when ordering your fiesta omelette at 4am drunk on wild turkey. They don’t like that. But it’s necessary now.

Despite perpetually rising economic turmoils, I have come to believe there is no price too high to pay for being a chad in a sea of chuds. And eggs are the life-force of chads. What started as a curse being forced to watch Beauty and the Beast as an adolescent with my cousins turned out to be the biggest blessing that could have been bestowed upon my youthful naivety. I’ll never forget my first time seeing a figure to emulate for the rest of my life. Dads were okay, they were busy working on their trucks and doing 90s things like talking to neighbors and making money investing in early tech stocks. But then there was Gaston, the muscle’d and shiny haired f-boy that set the tone for all f-boys in the future. And the recipe for success was evidently laid out in his first musical number. The song, and I quote states:

“No one's slick as Gaston, No one's quick as Gaston, No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston, for there's no man in town half as manly, perfect, a pure paragon, you can ask any Tom, Dick or Stanley and they'll tell you whose team they prefer to be on”. We can logically infer from these lyrics that Gaston is a man every guy wants to be and every woman wants to be with. But then, behold, he gives us the key to his holy chadness in his lyrics: “when I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs every morning to help me get large. And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs, so I'm roughly the size of a barge!”

This has stuck with me since childhood. If you do the calculations, 5 dozen eggs=60 eggs. 60x365= 21,900 eggs a year. If you add in the current, median cost of a dozen eggs to be around $8, then the cost of ultimate alpha manliness a year for me would be $14,680 not adjusted for inflation or including sales tax. That’s a SMALL price to pay for being the ultimate chad in these wild times. For the cost of a jetski and a rifle, I can be schmanging everyone’s wife and their sisters every week.

I needed somewhere to lay the groundwork and peacock my egg-celence. I went to Toast 101, a spot definitely above Waffle House even if slightly. A hip, modern, well lit, spacious and warm atmosphered joint for sure. I was wearing my tightest red shirt and jeans and with my chest pumped out, I told the lovely, older hostess “your sturdiest table for one, my love” and then let out a hearty laugh. Her face remained blank and then I followed her to a booth. I jumped into it and pounded on the table letting out another hearty laugh. I saw the hostess whisper something to the young waitress who came over a little cautiously with a menu and she said “hi, how are you this morning, my name i—-” “yes yes, my dear. I won’t be needing that menu. 5 dozen eggs in a bowl please”. “Uhm, i’m not sure we can—-” “5 dozen eggs in a bowl please! HA-HA!” She walked away and then a man not as muscular as I came over claiming to be the manager. We had a 3 minute conversation where I refused to make eye contact and because I was feeling forgiving, I accepted that I would be able to pay for 15 4 egg omelettes and a large matcha latte to-go. Some sorority girls and moms did watch me in fascination as I ate one whole omelette from the box mid-stride on the way out though. Word will spread and i’m looking forward to...

Third visit on 7/12/21 Today was my third, and final, visit to Toast 101. The bad far outweighs the good, they are over-priced, and service is absolutely terrible. They need a serious intervention....like a close down, re-train staff, update/simplify the menu, change the layout sort of intervention.

They have a pretty good concept, but it's apparent the owners/managers are unable to execute effectively on that concept. I predict that by the end of this year the restaurant will either undergo major changes or they will just close their doors.

I cannot add my full review as Google Reviews have a character limit, but full review is on Yelp. First visit on 2/3/21

I so want to like this restaurant. They have an amazing menu and a pleasant happy staff, but the taste of the food is the most important thing. I would have given this a 1-star (based only on food) but this was my first visit, they are new, and so 3-stars it is for now.

I called to see if they have curbside takeout, and they don't. I was able to place a to-go order, but had to go inside to pick it up. I highly recommend setting up the option for an employee to run orders out to cars.

While I was inside, people entered to be seated, so it was impossible to really do any level of distancing as I waited for my food. They do have a 'mask required' sign on the door and all employees I saw had on masks. The restaurant was busy, people seated in every other table style....but I saw no customers seated with masks on. If your food is on the table, then no mask needed. No food...you need your mask on.

The employee greeting/seating customers was the same one who took my order on the phone and she was very pleasant. She ran my credit card and brought me my food.....and that's where the trouble began.

I have to admit, I paid and did not pay any attention to the amount....and when I got home realized I was charged $10.87 (including tax) for an order of Biscuits/gravy. The menu on the website that I ordered from lists a price of $6 ........I hope I hear back on why the big difference.

The amount of food was epic. Four full sized biscuits, sliced in half with a sausage patty on each, and then covered in white gravy. Wayyyyy too much, and if I had known it was this much I most certainly would have asked if it was possible to get a smaller portion. But that's not why I would have rated it 1-star.

The biscuits were not .....the old fashioned buttermilk biscuits of my youth. They were more like bread in texture, had been sliced in half and grilled, and that grilling (maybe the oil or maybe something on the grill?) left a very odd taste. Not a good taste at all.

The gravy was inedible....completely and totally inedible. It was sweet and salty.....and it was congealed....and not congealed due to being cold...it was warm/hot. Like nothing I've ever tasted before. Is this the way it's supposed to taste? Surely it's not. Did someone accidently add sugar?

So I paid $10.87 for an item listed as $6 on the website, had to go inside to pick it up, then threw everything except 1/2 of one biscuit and the 4 sausage patties into the trash. As I mentioned up above.....I really want to like this restaurant because it's menu looks awesome, and I hope the biscuits/gravy was an anomaly. At some point, I will visit again and do an update to...

Not to be cliché... but if I could give 0 stars I would only because of how the manager/owner handled an issue they created. Reservations made for 13 for 11am show up and 1st impression - "sorry table not ready, party at table we were going to reserve for you has not left". 30 minutes later they sat half of our party and left the rest to stand. Constantly reminded by wait staff that us standing are in the way and constantly having us shift in an overcrowded restaurant. The manager/owner offered to take our drink order (am I confused or does that not come with being sat at a table- or is she offering first round on the house for all the inconvenience). However only tool drink orders for those sitting. Those of us standing finally were able to order our drinks at noon when we were able to finally sit.

Fast forward... mimosa flights ordered showed up warm...water had an aftertaste... coffee came without cream and sugar... out of condiments such as hot sauce and ranch... table bussers clearing tables while breaking multiple glasses... and yet we shrugged it all off. Then the bill came and nothing special - every item ordered charged... we ask our waiter if the first round of drinks were being comped due to the issues we had with our reservation and he went to the manager/owner to ask. Ask they spoke about our table- which they made obvious with the rude gesture of pointing she sent back our waiter to relay her managerial decision of "no - they (us at the table) had misunderstood".

We then proceeded by requesting to speak with the manager instead of "he said/she said" going back and forth. This is where it made our experience go to to zero stars! The manager came to our table not to rectify a situation but to justify and help us understand how we misunderstood. We attempted to explain to her that there were multiple issues beyond the "misunderstanding" and allowed her multiple opportunities to fix our bad experience. Unfortunately her reply was " I can only offer $5 off one check". Based on principle, I declined the offer and gave another opportunity for the manager to add light to our bad experience and she once again declined and preferred to stick to her original offer over our returning business.

There is no need for the manager to reply as we gave multiple opportunities in person to rectify and she declined to do so. As I, declined there $5 discount, I save more not returning...