Whizzbang's Hamburgers — Restaurant in Waco

HAVE A SEAT, WE ARE GONNA TAKE A QUICK HISTORY LESSON....

Waco, while being the name of one of the founding tribes of natives along the Brazos, actually translates to, literally, "May My friends delight in a heavy table at Captain Billy Wizzbangbang and may mine enemies choke on McDonalds." It is truly a testament to the complexity of the Waco tribe's language that they were able to find one word that so encapsulates the feelings I share in such a nice, neat, simple package. Interestingly enough, the Waco tribe was referring to Captain Billy, renown "fresh-meat-patty-sandwich-on-a-bun-with-crisp-lettuce" sandwich chef, who liked to shoot a boomerang gun at the moon on warm, summer nights that made a variety of wizzing and banging sounds as it projected showers of boomerangs and black powder across the night sky. It was only after a boomerang wizzed too close to chief Valley Mills head one night that Captain Billy was forced to give up the boomerang gun and take up the spatula. It was around this time that Captain Billy decided to rename his meat sandwiches to the "Hamburger", named after the noise the grackles along Waco Drive Trail made as they cawed at the passing settlers and natives alike looking for the legendary "Captain Billy Wizbang's Best Burgers in the As Yet Unnamed Area Along the Brazos River in the Center of the Texas Republic." They did love a good, long, wordy name in those days. While many have argued over how the Waco tribe even knew of the McDonalds Restaurant phenomenon that wasn't to be birthed for 300 more years, and others scratch their heads at how they even knew of the concept of heavy tables, seeing as how they had never seen a table in the first place, us true Wacoans just believe, and with that we cry "WACO!...May My friends delight in a heavy table at Captain Billy Wizzbangbang and may mine enemies choke on McDonalds!!!!!!!!!!"

Also, the burgers here are on a whole other level. I can't say they beat Doubl-R in terms of pure deliciousness, but I will say they rival being rocked to sleep by a basketful of warm bunnys in terms of delight to be had in consuming them. And the onion rings are crisp/crunchy on the outside, warm and mellowed out bite on the inside..little rings of yum....

The first time I had a Whizzbang burger was from their truck at the Silos in April. There are so many choices of different types of food to eat at the Silos but as I talked with each of the vendors the one who stood out was Jaimie, the cook, cashier and champion of the Whizzbang burger. He explained they were the only burger place who fresh ground their beef for the burgers everday and the difference it makes in the flavor. My husband and I ordered the double burger with cheddar and shared and it was more than plenty. The burgers look like what you would make at home. Not cookie cutter shaped like a fast food joint but with nooks and crannies of juicy perfectly cooked hamburger. I not only judge the burger but the fries as well. And they don't disappoint like some places who think if they leave the skin on I will believe it actually came from a spud. My particular criteria is if fries don't need ketchup and they don't but it makes them that much better!

Fast forward to today. I remembered Jamie said they have a location in Waco separate from the food truck and it was right near where my errands were (I live in Temple) I have not gotten the memory of that burger out of my mind because it reminded me of a little mom and pop place called the Dairy King in the small town in Kansas where I grew up.

There I met Miss Doris who took my order. She helped me decide what all I could get on my burger making sure I didn't make the mistake of mayonnaise which only, in my humble opinion belongs on tuna fish. She is a lovely woman who later came by my table when the lunch rush ended and visited with me as she cleaned the tables. It's people like Miss Doris who make the experience so memorable and why I would give more stars if I could. Thank you Miss Doris and Jaimie for loving what you do it makes the food taste...

I was undoubtedly excited to try this place, as it was mentioned to be one of the top 10 places to eat in Waco. BUT, I wanted to whizz outta' there, and bang my head against the table, for going out of my way to try this place. I don't normally bash a restaurant but this place was Trash. Don't get me wrong, the service was A+ excellent, and price was reasonable. The food on the other hand was a letdown. The patty had a funky taste of ground "beef", hotdogs, and dirty sock. (Don't ask.) I got a regular patty and a whizzpig and both tasted off. They said the whizzpig would be "a little pink" because it had bacon, but the darn thing looked like they slid it across the grill, threw it on a bun and called it good. (Mind you, I eat my steak rare.) This was raw in my book. Me nor my wife could finish them because they were so chewy and under cooked. When we ordered a second patty (just the patty) they charged me for a whole burger. The reasoning was because, "that's the only way they could make a profit." Then they told us if we would have ordered it with our first order we would have only been charged $2. Last of all the drink machine look like a science project with so much mold growing in it. The dispensing levers would stick also a sign of poor cleaning, and then i saw flakes of crud falling in my drink, i immediately stopped my wife from drinking hers and tossed it. But don't worry they have bottled drinks as a excuse for those of us who like our beverages foreign substance free. I know some fountain drink dispensers have below standard cleanliness but when it's literally falling in the drink that's where I...