McDonald's — Restaurant in West Conshohocken

Fast food was meant to be, well, fast. So, why did it take longer for me to receive my McDonald's food than it would for me to be served at a 5 star gourmet restaurant? I should have known trouble was coming when I walked in and saw the cashier, who had a scowl on her face that did not disappear for one split second during my visit.

I ordered a chicken sandwich and coffee via the kiosk, and stood by the pickup counter waiting, and waiting, and waiting. My ticket was posted right up on their wall along with a couple of others, and my ticket number was also on the monitor, so they were well aware of my order. After 35 minutes of waiting, my stomach told me that this is totally unacceptable, so I called the lady with the frown over and asked where my food was, telling her that I was waiting for 35 minutes. She threw her hands up as if to say "it's not my problem," after which I pointed to my ticket which was on their wall, and I said that my order is right there, waiting, and has been for 35 minutes. So, she grabs the ticket, and asks how I ordered my coffee, to which I responded "it's on the ticket." She then grabs the coffee and sandwich, says "I'm sorry," and I walk away, ready to write this review. By the way, there were 7 people behind the counter, so they were not understaffed, and others around me were having issues with their orders as well. The best part was watching one of the workers behind the counter who was filling orders take time to sip from her drink, while I'm waiting 35 minutes for someone to give me mine.

Never eat at this McDonald's unless you enjoy waiting all day for...

I have seen the light, and it comes in the form of an iced coffee from the McDonald’s in West Conshohocken, PA. I don’t know what kind of magic they put in their coffee here, but it is heaven in a cup. Every sip is smooth, rich, perfectly balanced—like it was handcrafted by angels who specialize in caffeinated perfection. Meanwhile, back home in Medina, Ohio, ordering an iced coffee at McDonald’s is like rolling the dice in a game you’re guaranteed to lose.

Let’s break it down. At West Conshohocken, they actually listen when you place your order. You ask for extra cream and sugar? Boom, it’s in there. You want caramel? No problem. In Medina? Oh, you wanted caramel? Too bad, here’s some burnt-tasting mystery liquid instead. Or better yet, here’s a plain black coffee because following directions is apparently optional.

And the speed? West Conshohocken McDonald’s runs like a well-oiled machine—efficient, friendly, and actually trying to move the line. Meanwhile, Medina’s McDonald’s takes so long you could probably drive to Pennsylvania, get your coffee, and be halfway back before they even acknowledge you at the speaker. And don’t expect a smile—customer service in Medina is about as warm and welcoming as a brick wall.

If I could teleport my morning iced coffee from West Conshohocken every day, I would. Until then, I’ll just have to suffer through the tragic excuse for McDonald’s back in Medina. If you’re ever in the area, do yourself a favor—skip the guessing game and get your caffeine fix from the real MVP of McDonald’s locations. Medina...

McDonald's, what an ironic American institution. A gleaming bastion of efficiency, freedom and sloth all wrapped into one. On the one hand, the drive-thru represents the pinnacle of American ingenuity - we engineered an entire system around not getting out of our cars for food that takes less time to make than to eat. Truly a marvel of capitalism and entitlement.

Yet on the other hand, there I was, drawn like a moth to the Golden Arches, keen to embrace my basic human right to expand horizontally without standing up. As I pulled up to the menu, I had an epiphany - this drive-thru is a paradox, it represents both the heights of human progress and the depths of human laziness. How deliciously American.

You see, only in this great nation of ours could hard work and laziness co-exist so harmoniously. The pioneers and pilgrims who forged this country from nothing would surely be proud to see their descendants so committed to convenience, they can't be bothered to stand in a line for food or make a salad.

And so I sat in that drive-thru, soaking in the irony and hypocrisy, watching my fellow patriots exercise their inalienable right to not move. The smell of freedom and french fries wafting through the air. God bless this beautiful, enterprising, slothful country - where we work hard so we're free to be sedentary. McDonald's, you're the real MVP. Now pass me my McFlurry, I'm too...