California Oaks: Where Your Golf Game Goes to Die (and So Does the Course)
If you’ve ever wanted to experience what it’s like to golf on a post-apocalyptic botanical experiment, California Oaks Golf Course has you covered.
Let’s start with the highlights: The greens are actually nice… if you’re into putting on shag carpet. They’re slow — painfully slow. So slow that you might have time to Google “how to putt on moss” between strokes.
Beyond that? Yikes.
The sand traps aren’t traps — they’re ancient ruins. I’m not sure if they were ever bunkers or just some guy’s backyard in the 90s. They’re mostly filled with weeds, rocks, and sand that’s more “cement mixer” than “beach vibes.” You’ll need a pickaxe, not a wedge.
The rough? More like “Lost Woods.” Hit a shot two feet off the green? Goodbye ball. It’s gone forever, swallowed by grass so deep it might be hosting a family of raccoons. The fairways aren’t much better — mow jobs seem to be a once-a-season kind of thing, and when they do mow, they just leave the grass clippings to rot in the sun like someone said, “Eh, nature’ll figure it out.”
No bathrooms. No beverage cart. No hope. I hope you brought a Gatorade bottle and a strong bladder. You won’t see a cart girl, a working restroom, or even a functioning bench (half are splintered or busted like someone teed off with them).
Final thoughts? This course is a hazard in itself. Not just sand or water — the actual course. Your best drive could land in a dried runoff ditch and ricochet into the abyss. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll probably lose more balls than strokes.
If you’re looking for a cheap round and a story to tell your friends about where your 7-iron went to die, this is your spot.
Rating: 1 out of 5 stars — and that one star is for the...
Read moreWhere do I even begin with this disaster of a "golf course"? It's as if Mother Nature decided to use this place as her personal dumping ground for neglected landscapes. Walking onto the first tee felt like stepping into a scene from a post-apocalyptic movie where the only survivors are weeds and desolation.
The fairways were more like desert minefields, where your ball had a better chance of disappearing into a gopher abyss than rolling anywhere resembling a playable lie. The greens? Well, they resembled a patchwork quilt of disease-ridden moss and neglected gravel paths. Putting on these surfaces was like trying to sink a ball into a puddle of cold oatmeal – utterly hopeless and disgustingly unhygienic.
Let's talk about the bunkers, or rather, the craters of despair. If you managed to find your ball in one of these rockpits, you might as well have been mining for buried treasure in bedrock. It's a mystery how the designers managed to create hazards that were more hazardous to your sanity than your scorecard.
The clubhouse was showing its age with no air conditioning. The manager was a standup gentlemen that I have nothing but nice things to say about. That being said I wish he resided at a more respectable course.
Overall, playing here was a lesson in endurance and regret. I'd rather spend a day trudging through a swamp with shoes made of cheese graters than subject myself to another round at this travesty of a golf course. Save your money, save your sanity, and save your golf balls from this nightmare disguised as a...
Read moreI went here on Father's day on a quiet Sunday morning for some golfing with my family. As we drove up to the lot, I was looked at like a criminal from the North the entire time being there. The lady at the front desk gave me attitude and the other worker refused to give me keys to the golf cart even after paying. Secondly, after finally receiving the keys from waiting 20 minutes and having to go back and forth between the front desk and the golf carts, given 2 separate keys and separate paperwork, I was finally allowed to drive and go golfing, without an apology. When I asked what the problem was nicely, the other associate handling the keys said "If you want, I could just not give you any keys at all."
Absolutely stuck up establishment with people that pretend to be above you. If you aren't at least 80 years old, retired, and wearing a polo shirt, they will look you dirty.
A shame, the overall experience was OK. I had fun golfing and no other issues besides the start of the trip. Overall excuse to say customer service even existed here...
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