Taino Beach Resort and Clubs — Hotel in City of Freeport

PROS: Service: everyone I met was super nice. From the server offering to keep my leftovers in the fridge until I could check into my room, to housekeepers making sure I found my room and giving extra towels, everyone I met was eager to help Beach: lovely, and empty (I was told later I’m here during the “off season” (before Thanksgiving))

Restaurant: could be much worse. It was a bit overpriced, as is expected, but the portions for both the meals and the drinks (I had a massive pina coolada) make it worth it- plus the service!

Free activity voucher: I listened to the membership presentation in exchange for the free activity of my choice and it was totally worth it. First of all, they treat you to breakfast in the restaurant before pitching to you (that alone was worth it in my opinion) and then after listening to the details of the membership and a quick tour of the newer rooms (“The Marlin” phase 3) I was given a free sunset cruise voucher. In total, it took an hour of my time (30 min. of which I was eating my free breakfast). I found the salespeople to be persistent but not overly pushy and it was very easy for me to say no and I still got the voucher and did not need to present a credit card or sign anything

The sunset cruise: free wine, sangria, and bahama mamas. Chicken wings and conch fritters. Mom loved the dance floor playing the oldies 😬 I wouldn’t pay $66 for it but it was good to do in exchange for 1 hour of my time. Just beware it’s like a party boat, not at all relaxing haha

Grocery run: easy way to save money, $5 and they give you an hour to shop. Prices are high on the island- grapes were $15, be aware of what you’re buying

Ferry to Port Lucaya: $8 each way per person but worth it if you go at a good time! The first time we went on a Sunday and it was a ghost town (disappointing), but the next time we went on a Tuesday and it was a blast. We got beautiful jewelry and had a great time at Rum Runners with Taylor!

Grounds: people work very hard keeping the grounds clean, using a sheet of plywood to prevent grass clippings from going in the pool, constant sweeping, cleaning, etc.

CONS: I can say with absolute certainty that this is the ugliest room I have ever stayed in in my life. Truly impressive. Outdated, with a broken, empty hot tub. Broken dishwasher. Broken microwave. Worst part of the trip for sure

No housekeeping available during your stay, they gave us clean linens but by the end of our trip the floor was desperately in need of a sweep it was quite uncomfortable

Pool is, as previously reviewed, green. There’s a man working his butt off vacuuming it and scooping it everyday but it needs to be drained or needs chemicals. Kids still swam in it, and I did as well because I wanted to get my mom to do the water slide, but it was sad looking. You can barely see the bottom

Swim up bar: I walked over to get a pina colada and immediately changed my mind and went to the restaurant instead. It was just really dark and dingy down there. The bar tender had a few bottles of alcohol and ice from a cooler (no pina coladas I assume), just seemed unprofessional and uninspiring. I didn’t want to spend any time there

Hot tub: set among greenery, but the pump is so loud it’s difficult to hold a conversation let alone relax

Not much to do: we were there for a week and ended up renting a scooter to find activities to do elsewhere on the island. Besides a (horrible) karaoke session and bingo, there wasn’t much to do...

The best part about the trip was the Bahamian people, so nice and friendly! We also had a nice time at the pool; the restaurant was decent.

The worst part was our room. We got stuck in the Coral building and it was the worst room I’ve ever stayed in. The Marlin building seems ok though (we took a cruel tour as part of the timeshare sales pitch). The Coral building room was so dated and tacky. The walls were PINK-tinted mirrors that were delaminating. Fixtures were rusted. Screws missing or rusted from the light switch plate covers and don’t even get me started on the kitchen. Faux coral walls, doors, everything. The bed was a Murphy bed. The shower was glass blocks, so you couldn’t turn on the light when you used the restroom in the middle of the night because it lit up the entire room. It was so tacky and everything was PINK! It also had a non-functioning spa thing on the patio that was empty. The door stuck, so that every time anyone used it it slammed loudly. The air conditioner leaked and was loud. It was a nightmare and we were stuck in it during Hurricane Ian with no where else to go. It did have a nice view of the pool though.

Other cons: *The pictures show a lazy River, but there were no floats (you were expected to bring your own or buy them at the store). I was excited by the swim up bar, but it wasn’t open the entire time we were there, so we got drinks from the restaurant and brought them over ourselves. *There is an on site restaurant, but it closed at 4 PM every day and the menu was limited. *There were not any other restaurants around, so we went to Port Lucaya on the ferry ($8 round trip per person) for dinner. This was fine with us, but when a tropical storm hit the ferry shut down and the only option for delivery was ordering pizza (or a $30 taxi ride to go a few miles, round trip). *We came in the off season hoping to avoid crowds. Turns out that was a bad idea because most things were shut down due to a lack of people. In fact, the shops at the Port were closed nearly every day that the cruise ships weren’t in, which was most days. Only one vendor was open at the straw market the entire week we were there.

Pros: *The Bahamian people are so lovely and tried to make our trip good. Desmond (“golden nugget”) added another snorkeling tour to the schedule for us, even though it was a free perk of sitting through their timeshare presentation. He knew I came there to dive and hadn’t been able to because of the storm, so his efforts make up a whole star of this review because it saved our trip from being a complete waste of time and money. *The ferry was a fun way to get to the Port. *The snorkel trip to Rainbow Reef was good. The reef was not in great shape, but it was lovely. I wish I could have gotten to Paradise Cove. *The beach is clean and has soft white sand. Not much to see if you want to snorkel - just sea grass. They had plenty of toys (banana not, jet ski, etc), if you are into that...

Please read before you stay here for a week. I’ll start positive to be kind but negatives are deal breakers. I was so sadly disappointed that I didn’t sift through the CRUISE REVIEWS. If you are cruising, ignore me. The people are all so kind, it almost hurts to be negative but honestly this place needs a major renovation. We stayed in 5112 (after being told we booked ocean view)… we were ground level and we couldn't change for 2/3 days so we didn’t bother. I’ll break down pros/cons but honestly this is a HARD PASS for a week.

Let’s start positive: location was great, the beach was great and very remote. There was virtually no one there so you hardly fought for anything on non-cruise days. The people are so nice. The DJ, bless him tried to get everyday going to be fun, drinks are fairly strong for the cost, lots of beach seats and unmanned activities (cornhole, ping pong, etc), on site restaurant was decent, activities are available (boat tours, jet skis…), pool is huge, the slide, and maybe the spaciousness of the room.

The cons: they only accommodate cruise people coming in (for example: they close down the pool slide at 4:30pm daily , they only have lifeguards for the slide when cruises are dropped off, restaurant also closes then, activities during cruise people times, etc. when there is NO CRUISE. It’s a free for all. Children are climbing up the slide because no one is paying attention and you have to be very cautious using it. Cruise people leave trash all over the place that isn’t picked up until the next day at some point, nothing is open after 5, the pool is perpetually green, has floating combos and trash & is dirty, there is ZERO security (people without wrist bands wandered in off a boats) Four guys rolled up and sat in the grotto bar talking about driving their boat up and just finding the place (mind you, the grotto is IN the pool for guests only) they were rude to people who were staying there and there was no one to man the place and kick them out, (wrist bands are useless), local teens used the pool at night and were screaming “I’m horny” & fighting with people inside at night time it’s like a free watering hole- it feels grossly unsafe at times our room never got below 75, our tv never worked after it rained, THERE IS NO IN ROOM WIFI, the bug bites are still itchy as I type from home. At one point a group of kids were told to get off the slide after hours and their drunk adults said “they’re not mine” - which they were, and the kids continued to be clowns and even throw a basketball into a group of people below them off the closed slide & taunt them after. There are NO RULES after 5pm because no one is employed there afterwards. These are mostly timeshare people who don’t know better so before you waste a week, please look at the reviews of people who stayed here not cruising in for $25. Drinks are 16 ounces $9-11 dollars, happy hour is...