Hotel Monte Carlo Madeira — Hotel in Funchal

Our recent stay at Monte Carlo ‘Hotel’ was nothing short of diabolical. From the moment we entered our assigned hotel room, we were greeted by an offensive odor that permeated the air. The room itself was far from what we had paid for, as the hotel management failed to even provide a basic double bed, let alone a comfortable and clean one. The overall state of the room was appalling, with tatty, old furnishings and an undeniable lack of cleanliness.

The breakfast experience was equally disheartening. This was the most cheapest quality breakfast we’ve ever come across, with the poorest quality bread, fruit which was past its used by date, and very below standard. Despite informing the hotel reception of our dietary restrictions, our requests were blatantly disregarded. The kitchen staff's lack of hygiene while handling food was not only unprofessional but also deeply concerning. Whilst we were waiting for clean cups to be brought out the Indian worker in the kitchen was picking his spots blatantly in front of us, and thereafter cutting the fruit. Furthermore, the hotel's misleading claim of Wi-Fi availability only in public areas reflects a lack of transparency and fails to meet the expectations of modern travelers.

The hotel's location also proved to be inconvenient and misrepresented. The uphill trek from the town center, compounded by the lack of accessibility from the airport bus, made reaching the hotel a cumbersome ordeal. This crucial information was conveniently omitted from the hotel's marketing materials, leading to a significant inconvenience for guests.

But that wasn’t all, even to get to the rooms most of which are in outbuildings. You have to treck up and down in the outer space of the property to get your to your room potentially.

To top it all off, the absence of hot water from the outset of our stay, followed by a sudden disconnection without prior notice ‘from the owners’ was utterly unacceptable. The management's failure to communicate such a fundamental issue l prompted by ourselves to front desk ‘Pedro’ further demonstrates a lack of consideration for customer experience.

In addition to these issues, upon arrival at the hotel, we were surprised to find notices in the lift stating that no outside food or drink could be brought into the hotel. This policy meant that if guests wanted to sit on the terrace and have a drink or a cup of tea or coffee when returning to their rooms, there were no facilities available.

Furthermore, the complete lack of professionalism and accountability displayed by the hotel's management was equally distressing. Instead of addressing our legitimate concerns, the management seemed more interested in self indulgence on the terrace and consuming alcohol. When we expressed our profound disappointment with the numerous issues we encountered, they even went so far as to suggest that we leave the property.

On the third day of our stay, the situation reached an even more disconcerting level when the owners, in an evidently inebriated state, called us in a disarrayed manner regarding the lack of hot water. It is deeply concerning that the individuals responsible for overseeing the hotel operations were not only absent but also seemingly intoxicated.

The absence of the front desk manager until after the New Year, leaving a relatively new staff member Marcia, who had only been working at the hotel for two months, to handle all the issues alone, is a clear indication of the management's disregard for the well-being and satisfaction of paying guests. It is wholly unacceptable to leave a relatively inexperienced employee to manage such a multitude of issues, especially when the established management showed a complete lack of interest in addressing the concerns of their clientele.

In summary, this hotel fell far short of providing a satisfactory experience and failed to uphold even the most basic standards of hospitality. We strongly advise potential guests to carefully consider their options before choosing to stay at this...

My recent stay at Monte Carlo ‘Hotel’ was nothing short of diabolical. From the moment we entered our assigned hotel room, we were greeted by an offensive odor that permeated the air. The room itself was far from what we had paid for, as the hotel management failed to even provide a basic double bed, let alone a comfortable and clean one. The overall state of the room was appalling, with tatty, old furnishings and an undeniable lack of cleanliness.||The breakfast experience was equally disheartening. This was the most cheapest quality breakfast we’ve ever come across, with the poorest quality bread, fruit which was past its used by date, and very below standard. Despite informing the hotel reception of our dietary restrictions, our requests were blatantly disregarded. The kitchen staff's lack of hygiene while handling food was not only unprofessional but also deeply concerning. Whilst we were waiting for clean cups to be brought out the Indian worker in the kitchen was picking his spots blatantly in front of us, and thereafter cutting the fruit. Furthermore, the hotel's misleading claim of Wi-Fi availability only in public areas reflects a lack of transparency and fails to meet the expectations of modern travelers.||The hotel's location also proved to be inconvenient and misrepresented. The uphill trek from the town center, compounded by the lack of accessibility from the airport bus, made reaching the hotel a cumbersome ordeal. This crucial information was conveniently omitted from the hotel's marketing materials, leading to a significant inconvenience for guests.||But that wasn’t all, even to get to the rooms most of which are in outbuildings. You have to treck up and down in the outer space of the property to get your to your room potentially.||To top it all off, the absence of hot water from the outset of our stay, followed by a sudden disconnection without prior notice ‘from the owners’ was utterly unacceptable. The management's failure to communicate such a fundamental issue l prompted by ourselves to front desk ‘Pedro’ further demonstrates a lack of consideration for customer experience.||In addition to these issues, upon arrival at the hotel, we were surprised to find notices in the lift stating that no outside food or drink could be brought into the hotel. This policy meant that if guests wanted to sit on the terrace and have a drink or a cup of tea or coffee when returning to their rooms, there were no facilities available.||Furthermore, the complete lack of professionalism and accountability displayed by the hotel's management was equally distressing. Instead of addressing our legitimate concerns, the management seemed more interested in self indulgence on the terrace and consuming alcohol. When we expressed our profound disappointment with the numerous issues we encountered, they even went so far as to suggest that we leave the property.||On the third day of our stay, the situation reached an even more disconcerting level when the owners, in an evidently inebriated state, called us in a disarrayed manner regarding the lack of hot water. It is deeply concerning that the individuals responsible for overseeing the hotel operations were not only absent but also seemingly intoxicated.||The absence of the front desk manager until after the New Year, leaving a relatively new staff member Marcia, who had only been working at the hotel for two months, to handle all the issues alone, is a clear indication of the management's disregard for the well-being and satisfaction of paying guests. It is wholly unacceptable to leave a relatively inexperienced employee to manage such a multitude of issues, especially when the established management showed a complete lack of interest in addressing the concerns of their clientele.||In summary, this hotel fell far short of providing a satisfactory experience and failed to uphold even the most basic standards of hospitality. We strongly advise potential guests to carefully consider their options before choosing to stay at this...

Before I begin, let me make one thing clear: the staff at this hotel were absolutely lovely, they’re kind, helpful, and doing their best with what they’ve been given. Unfortunately, their efforts are completely overshadowed by the woman who appears to own or manage the place, a walking cautionary tale in hospitality management.

From the moment we arrived, her presence was less “welcoming host” and more “boozy dictator.” She hovered like a storm cloud over the hotel, micromanaging with the grace of a wrecking ball. Her breath smelled like stale booze by noon, and her mood matched it: sour and volatile. She spends most of the day parked out front on the steps, drink in hand, watching guests like a hawk and openly commenting on their behavior as if she’s running a surveillance operation instead of a hotel. At one point, she even started bragging loudly about the €1,000 cat she bought, which she proudly lets roam freely through the hotel, including the kitchen. Nothing says “luxury hospitality” like a drunken monologue about your overpriced pet strutting through food prep areas.

We were told at check-in that we could refill our water bottles at the breakfast area, a small courtesy you’d expect from any decent establishment. One evening, we walked down to do exactly that, only to be chased down by this woman screaming at us that the area was closed and we needed “permission” from the bartender. When we calmly walked away, she escalated and shrieked after us: “If you want water so bad, go buy one!”

Seriously? That’s the level of hospitality here? You run a hotel, not a prison camp. Charging guests for basic drinking water and then aggressively shaming them for trying to stay hydrated is not only petty, it’s downright hostile.

The entire place is suffused with her miserable energy. It’s like the walls themselves have absorbed her bitterness. You get the sense that no matter how hard the staff works, her toxic presence is slowly sinking the ship. And frankly, it deserves to go down if this is how paying guests are treated.

My advice to her? Put down the alcohol, pick up some self awareness, and for the love of your business,...