Colonial Motel and Spa — Hotel in Brattleboro

I am disturbed by what has happened to the Colonial. I never met the original owner who built it nearly half a century ago. He had good taste. His family kept it well for many years. In the fall of 2019, it was sold to Indians who converted the attached restaurant, the Tavern, to an Indian "fusion restro bar." Though the restaurant has been remodeled completely (replete with stereotypical decor such as a Ganesha elephant statue), the motel has retained much of its original designs.

Upon arrival, you will likely not be greeted by a clerk at the desk. The front desk has a hastily installed corona-era plastic sheet blocking most of the reception area. Some of the fireplace decorations have been removed, but the beautiful brochure rack remains in the lobby, stocked with information on attractions in the area.

There were many problems with my room consistent with an owner who does not have adequate standards. The room was not fully vacuumed after the last guest. A broken Rubik's cube lay beside the entry table. The Do Not Disturb sign had been mangled and repaired with masking tape. Water remained in the ice bucket from a previous stay. Most clothes hangers were present, some missing. A dirty blanket was balled up in the top of the closet, above a wild TV cable. The bathroom exhaust fan no longer worked. The mirror on the back of the bathroom door is ready to fall any day now. Just one more retention clip needs to break. I guess somebody stole one of the pictures from the wall and it was never replaced. Other pictures hung crooked. Although the bedside lamp has a dimmer, a non-dimming bulb was installed.

Let's take a break from the negatives and highlight some positives: the beds were clean and comfortable. The bathroom was clean. The flow in the shower was decent compared to most hotels and it had good hot water. The heater in the room was strangely operated but quickly warmed the place. There were no insects in the room and it had no foul smells.

The complimentary breakfast in the morning was disappointing but better than some so-called "complimentary breakfasts" at other lodgings. Some of the offerings were removed before the scheduled end time for breakfast. What remained were: Yoplait original yogurt; dry muffins; bagels (you could toast them in a neat conveyor toaster); butter (the real stuff, good job!); creamy cheesy stuff (not real cream cheese); jelly (standard Smucker's selection); waffles (typical make-it-yourself hotel kind); syrup (not from a maple tree); coffee (with standard sweetener packets offered); old apples (starting to decompose, see picture); milk; juice from a push-button machine. The machine was out of calibration and mixed too little water with the syrup to re-create the orange or apple juice, so you had to water it down yourself.

The whole time my wife was getting breakfast, I waited for the clerk to get off the phone. The phone call was apparently too important to end. I don't speak the language, but from the tone it appeared to be the sort of conversation you have for hours on end with a friend while cooking familiar recipes, while tidying up your messy garage storage bins, or while idle and bored at work. After about 10-15 minutes, he paused his dialogue to get my key cards and print the receipt.

The motel is in decline. It used to be owned ("since 1975") by the family of the founder. If the philosophy of operation is not changed soon, the place will degrade past the point of salvageability. I have certainly seen worse motels, but this work of art ought not...

Avoid this place - sleeping in your car is a better idea. This place a dump. 100%. Booked two nights, stayed one, was charged for two. Working with my credit card company to fix it. The photos on the website must have been taken years ago, and then photoshopped. When I told someone who travels through Brattleboro often I stayed there, she thought I was joking. She said her co-workers call it the "ax-murder" motel. Charming. Below is the letter I wrote to the manager...

In all respects, this is the worst hotel I have stayed in over the past few years. As a former military member, I have travel extensively over the US with all price points of accommodations. The Colonial is easily the worst. I'm certain I have paid less than $50/night and gotten ten times the amenities, service, and cleanliness that I experienced on my trip to Brattleboro.

The primary reason my wife and I picked your motel was to stay before interviewing for a job with your local EMS/Paramedic service. In part due to your business's condition, I opted to head out of town a day early - skipping my interview. The room was not clean. The carpet was old, filthy, and the bathroom had insects walking around in it. The sheets MIGHT have been cleaned, but looked like a teenager late for class had made the bed. Two people can make an inspection ready, "hospital corners" bed in 120 seconds with any concern or training. This bed was woefully sub-par.

The other reason we booked with your hotel was due to the convenience advertised with the Tavern and restaurant. Apparently your website photos were taken with a very deceptive wide angle lens - and from the condition of the place in person - in the 1980's. On checking in, I was told "the restaurant is closed tonight and tomorrow night," which were the two nights I planned on staying. Thanks for the heads up.

After sleeping the first night with constant thoughts of just leaving in the middle of the night, my wife and I took the morning to drive around your town. We arrived back at our room around 12:30 to find the room looking terrible, but visited by whatever housekeeping staff you had. Other than folded towels, I could hardly tell the difference between me throwing the comforter over the top or the housekeeper "making the bed." We decided to leave right then.

The young girl at the front desk informed me that the cleaning staff had gone "home for the day" (at 1pm), so she would have to charge me for the full second night of my stay. I asked to speak to a manager, who conveniently was also home for the day. She promised me a call, but that call hasn't come a week later. I assume the matter is closed on your end, so I will bring it up with my credit card company.

Lastly, I would suggest that the clientele of this hotel seems to be prostitutes and other unsavories based on the pair of ladies sitting on folding lawn chairs in front of the rooms next to me. Sitting in a parking lot and drinking beer looked an awful lot like waiting for johns to me. But what do I know - maybe that is just the local thing to do. Such behavior and general nastiness smacks of a poor to non-existent management - probably because he/she goes home before 1pm on a weekday.

If you want to issue me a refund for the night I didn't stay, feel free to just accept what USAA contacts you about....

This place is a secret find.

Our room was clean and the bed was comfortable. Temperature control was wonderful - whatever heating units they use heat up the room super fast (especially appreciated when temps take an overnight nose dive in late fall). I was a little disappointed that they only offered coffee (regular and decaf) in the rooms, but if tea is your preference, this is easily remedied by grabbing a bag or two from the breakfast/coffee area in the main building (near the lobby/front desk).

Breakfast had a decent selection of cereals, English muffins, pastries, eggs, meat, french toast, and oatmeal. There are various juices and of course, coffee and tea. The breakfast area is cozy, with a stove and view of the plantings around the building. There are two skylights and it's mostly windows, so lots of natural light. When we visited (late fall), there were tons of birds (mostly sparrows) chirping and foraging berries right outside the window to enjoy watching during breakfast. The man at the front lobby desk was nice and seemed attentive to keeping breakfast items full/available.

We selected this location because one of the amenities was a hot tub. There is also a pool. After checking into our room, I went to the pool house (separate building a short walk away) and asked the desk person about what was available. The gentleman working the desk was very personable and offered a mini tour of the facilities. Their use is included (free) when you stay at the hotel - you just indicate your room #. Towel is supplied, but is a bit small, so if desired, bring one from home.

The facility has two full sized pools, both are saltwater - so no yucky chlorine to sting your eyes or bleach your hair.

The first pool is intended for relaxing (they also sometimes have water aerobics classes here) so you may want to check the schedule. There are tons of water weights, and boards that you can use, if desired. Connected to this pool are separate men's and women's area's for showering. The men's and women's area's each also have both a 3-4 person wet sauna, and 2-3 person dry sauna, and locker/changing area (locks are not supplied). I used the locker with no issue, and no lock, but one woman was angry that someone had taken her large beach towel. The saunas do not allow fragrances or essential oils, as some do.

Off the first pool is a decent weight/excercize room - this room connects to the second pool (lap pool only), the hot tub, and spa services area's.

The hot tub is enclosed in a fully tiled room and seats 4-5 people, but there is a back door overlooking a grassy area that is often kept open. Having visited in late fall, there is something very relaxing about soaking in a hot tub with a cool crisp air/breeze allowed to flow. A frequent patron said they only close the doors for rain or if snow is blowing heavily directional into the hot tub room, otherwise it is usually open.

The location, convenient to many nearby activities, combined with the amenities, and friendliness of the people working here, make this place an unexpected find. We would definitely...