HELP Women’s Shelter — Local services in New York

The shelter staff do a really great job here. They handle the very diverse assortment of women (and a few that were obviously men, which did not exactly make me feel safe or comfortable as someone who has experienced lots of abuse from men). The women that enter into the system here probably already have experience growing up in the "government care system" (as I have, but in Canada—lots of similarities) and come from varying family backgrounds, likely with lots of adverse experiences and "challenges", such as families/communities which struggle with poverty, mental illness, drug and alcohol addictions, and a lack of meaningful support, infrastructure and people who truly listen to what their needs are when they explain how they need to be supported and what would work "best" for their particular community/family "network".

Anyhow, at this shelter, they allow you to do your own laundry here daily, and provide you with soap. They also provide toiletries and a nice clean shower and washroom area with individual stalls so that you don't have to wait for "your turn" in the washroom. The rooms are shared, but only with maybe 5-6 others. And they provide a locker, a lock, and sheets/blankets/pillow. Very basic, but comfortable enough. I always felt safe and comfortable in this facility and was appreciative of being able to keep myself and all my clothes clean.

The social support staff were all very kind, though I was transferred before I was able to receive any advice or potential support for housing/employment.

Anyhow, I always felt very safe here and have lots of respect for what the security "guards" sometimes have to "deal with", especially in terms of some of the "outbursts" and those who appeared to perhaps be trying to "game the system/staff" to get stuff (I lived on the streets so I kinda recognize this behavior/what this can often look like, though sometimes people are just legitimately mentally ill and/or have severe abuse and/or other factors that cause/contribute to these "behaviors"). The guards were all kind and respectful to all the ladies there, from what I saw.

I was super appreciative of their kitchen staff especially, who typically made really good and healthy food and usually had options that I could eat. My only "complaint" was that sometimes I was told to wait to eat more and then had to rush through my second or third portion of food as the cafeteria would be off limits after the designated one hour available for meals. Having some snacks available between meals would have been nice. Especially some healthy fruits or veggie packs and/or even nuts (for extra healthy protein). I am sure there are lots of businesses in New York who have lots of surplus they could donate. Starbucks in Kamloops donated all their "expired" packaged sandwiches and treats to the Mustard Seed which provided them to the homeless folks at the drop in centre/shelter. The food was all still good and none of it was actually unfit for human consumption or anything.

Also, it would be helfpul if we could bring in our own groceries to shelters like this as it is far cheaper and allows us to decide what we want to eat. It might actually be helpful to offer cooking classes and facilities to those who are interested in learning how to cook and appropriately care for themselves. They offer that kind of support in jails in BC... at least they do at the minimum security facility in Victoria, BC. They teach the inmates some skills so they can help themselves more when they are released, such as learning how to properly cook basic things like boiled eggs. They also teach them how to build things out of wood and other materials and allow them to express themselves creatively through art and even "drama plays", which are even open...

This shelter didn't help me the staff in there had an attitude 😒 and they made me feel like I was in JAIL. They say D.V. shelter but it's not a D.V. shelter because they make you feel as if you have to be masculine like I've been doing that on the streets since 2013. They say they helping you but they not. They followed me harassed me took pictures of me and videos when I wasn't near the shelter. They are really nosey and they mean. They all need to get fired. I wasn't treated right at this shelter and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone. If the staff was different then yea but other then that, this wasn't a good shelter. Not only did I have a D.V. case they made me feel unwelcome at the shelter. This is a bad shelter. Also the bathrooms are always messed up, like if you need a plumbing my brother in law can help you. Some of the directors would roll they eyes at me and get loud with me like as if I was they child when I'm way older then some of them. Like I don't like the way they came at me. It was uncalled for and rude. DHS was stealing my body wash and I had things that I was using for Beauty school that they had me throw away. I can't even go to school if I wanted to or do something good with myself. They done sent me toanother shelter which is worst then where I was at. I don't like how they have signs that say respect and integrity 😒 when they weren't giving that. All I'm saying is that they really need to work on they communication skills because it's bad. Either work together as a union or fire them. Because you can't leave work and not tell the other person what happened to a cilent and just go home. Like what type of communicating you doing. Just leaving and not letting them know that , that person called in. Ya'll need to do better....

In my opinion it’s all about your attitude. How you take things a moment at a time. You have to keep in mind the staff deal with a lot of different personalities through the day and night. A lot of these women come from abusive home, have mental disorders that were never cared for, were saved from human trafficking, and so on. Just like you want them to have patience with you and your situation have patience with them to. When I came in a was terrified. It didn’t take long for me to feel safe, and I haven’t felt safe for a while because after I lost my son my mental health declined very badly. I was an independent mother and wife, when I got the shelter I was broken down and sick woman that needed help. With in the two weeks I was there they helped see a doctor and helped me get into a work program. I’ve been here since the end of February it’s the middle of June and I have a great job with help USA and I’ve been approved for my voucher. I’ve been giving my case worker space because I know they deal with so many people, and I work night shift, but I have to put in the work also to keep showing up to her office so we can get this done. All I’m saying ladies no it’s not prefect it’s a homeless shelter, but it’s what you make it. You are not supposed to love it or get comfortable, but as far as it being a good shelter for abused women and women that need help in general it’s not bad. They are doing their job, you have to put in your part too. I’m not done here yet so wish me luck ladies and I wish anyone else that is this situation the same luck and that they succeed with...