Shirtzenpantz — Local services in Portland

🎯 Shirtzenpantz is like the best of the bins & estate sales in an affordable well curated boutique. I liked it so much that I wrote a poem about it:

The Pantz-dropping, Shirt-splitting, Cookie-crumb Chronicles of Shirtzenpantz

In Hillsdale sits a shop whose marketing is quite absurd, Called Shirtzenpantz, my friend — haven't you heard?

Where cookies and clothes create quite a scene, And ice cream's served with the vintage and clean.

The owner shouts, "Welcome, don't be a stranger! Try on these pantz — ignore the slight danger!"

The Carhartt overalls stand at attention, While yoga pants scream for intervention.

"These athletic shorts are feeling quite tight, But paired with this flannel, I'll look dy-na-mite!"

The outdoor gear whispers seductive tales, To vintage dresses with price-tag sales.

A customer cries, "These Hipster pantz are no joke! They're tighter than bark on an old mighty oak!"

While munching cookies with chocolate so dark, They're leaving crumb trails like Hansel in a park.

"Do I look good in this vintage ensemble?" "Honey, that outfit makes my eyes tremble!"

While Carhartt jackets hang tough and proud, Drawing oohs and ahhs from the Hillsdale thrifting crowd.

"I scream, you scream, we all scream for clothes!" The motto that every good thrifter knows.

Where ice cream scoops drip on secondhand finds, And fashion disasters blow shoppers' minds.

So come to Shirtzenpantz, where humor runs free, Where pantz meet shirts in perfect harmony,

Where cookies and ice cream sweeten the deal, And every outfit's got that thrift store appeal!

Shirtzenpantz is the most fun thrift store I’ve found. Don’t believe me? Go kick rocks until...

If you’ve ever wondered what it looks like when passion, persistence, and eccentric genius coexist, take a quick trip to Shirtzenpantz. It is home to both vintage treasures and a living case study in goal setting: Christosphere, a once-ordinary rock that has been kicked into spherical perfection.

The owner has embarked on what can only be described as a long-term performance art project — or perhaps a meditation on discipline — kicking this rock daily in a noble attempt to sculpt it into a sphere. You could call it absurd. You could call it pointless. But if you’ve ever sat through a corporate seminar on SMART Objectives (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound), you’ll quickly realize you’ve been overcomplicating things.

Where else can a rock teach you more than a business class?

The vision is Specific: turn rock into sphere. The progress is Measurable: the analytics is where this project shines- daily weights and periodic measurements ensure progress is defined. The task is Achievable: theoretically. The purpose is Relevant: to no one and everyone. The deadline? Well… Time-bound might be a stretch, but Rome wasn’t rounded in a day.

It’s an allegory hiding in plain sight, tucked between racks of T-shirts and old denim. A masterclass in consistency, patience, and the gentle delusion required to create anything meaningful. Watching Christosphere’s transformation is to witness the slow alchemy of effort: proof that devotion, even to the ridiculous, reshapes the world.

So yes, come for the thrifted corduroys and flannel shirts, but stay for the philosophy. Shirtzenpantz isn’t just a store — it’s a shrine to...

The quaint exterior of this resale store belies the wonders held within. The eighth wonder of the world? Perhaps....

Inside you'll find a cornucopia of clothes, a festival of fashion, a boudoir of bargains, a cache of classiness. A masterclass in efficiency and organization, this place has styles to fit all occasions and needs, laid out in helpfully labeled racks and rows. The $5 bins are where it's at, though. Can't tell you how much good stuff I've found in there!

But the real treasure here are the employees and loyal fans of Shirtzenpants. I've met so many awesome people just browsing the store, and each and every employee goes out of their way to make you feel welcome, and are some of the nicest people I've ever met!

Don't leave without trying the dart challenge, and maybe you'll be lucky enough to go on a day where they are giving out free cookies with purchase. Head on down to Hillsdale and get yourself a new outfit or two. You'll be...