Biryani House — Restaurant in Melbourne

My one star review isn't a knee jerk reaction to the subpar tasting meal, it's not even an expression of irritation at the recent shrink-flation of portion size. It's not a reflection of the lackluster service and long wait time. It is rather something that I've had ample time to ponder and reflect on since 7pm (now 5:30am). I have had time to get good and angry about the food poisoning

The experience can only be described thusly. Dam flood gates were opened at several intervals early on with little joy to speak of, but looking back on that from my 5:30am porcelain prison I remember it almost fondly. The last 10 hours of my life have been characterised by almost permanent adhesion to the big white throne, the feeling of needing to pee despite a thoroughly empty bladder (every 2 gods forsaken minutes) and of course the squirming guts. Like a pit of snakes on a heavy dose of an illegal and hallucinogenic aphrodisiac the twisted and knotted sensations are constant. Unlike the good old days of 7pm when strain brought evacuation, respite and temporary relief, the current predicament can only be described as a gastric gulag; Empty but for the walls that only remember the violence and suffering. Never improving, never achieving freedom even for all the strain and effort, unable to sleep, sit still or leave the bathroom for more than 10 minutes I am trapped by my intestines memory of the malefic midrass, the corrupt curry, the greavous gravy.

May whoever is responsible for this be afflicted with the plagues of egypt! Their teeth to dissolve! Their reproductive organs to detach and burrow beneath the earth! May they be smote with thunderbolts and beset by wombats! But most of all, may they consume this midrass of misery themselves and take up twin residence of the intestinal incarceration that has stolen my blissful slumber from me

And lastly, may the flatulence of a thousand wilderbeasts blow the Biryani house down in the small hours leaving only rubble and the mingled scents of...

Worst customer service experience I’ve ever received in my life, zero exaggeration. Ordered online and it said it would take 20 minutes. After 40 minutes there was still no notification to say the food was ready so went to shop to see. When I got there it was clear that they had not even started making the order. Staff were rude and unhelpful, listening to AirPods while facing customers. We were told it will be another 15 minutes so we left. We came back 20 minutes later as I knew they wouldn’t be ready in 15, we had to wait around a half an hour extra when we got there but we weren’t going to leave this time. Staff were incredibly rude even ignoring us when we asked what the story was. Handed us our food and we checked and they had forgotten two of the sides so we stood there and waited again. After another ten minutes it took a second member of our group going in and demanding the food for them to actually do anything about it. Quite clear that none of the staff members have any interest in being there and do not hold each other accountable for doing good work. I had indicated in the online order that I am severely allergic to nuts and had ordered a nut free dish. It asks on the website to call if any allergies, I rang three times and no answer (this was obvious when we were in store as phone rings and nobody picks it up). Not until we got home and I took the first bite did I realise they had given me the wrong meal and it had been made with nuts. Luckily I caught this straight away before any major reaction, but this was a completely negligent oversight by the staff, which obviously happened as none of them seem to care about their work one bit. Horrible place, horrible staff, horrible experience - will never be going back and will be telling as many people not to visit as I possibly can. Would give 0 stars for...

I can't get enough of Biriyani House! Their biriyanis are fantastic, and they've become our go-to place to satisfy our biriyani cravings. The flavours are so close to authentic, it feels like a culinary journey to the heart of India with every bite. The biriyanis are incredibly delicious and leave you wanting more!

But let me tell you about their Friday special, the Haleem – a Hyderabadi delicacy that's truly unique. Made from pounded meat and blended wheat and lentils, it's a symphony of flavours that I can't get enough of. It's a popular dish, and we've been disappointed before when it sold out quickly. However, this time, we learned from our past experience and made sure to be there right at 6.30 pm. And boy, was it worth it! The Haleem was simply divine, bursting with amazing taste and flavours that left us in awe.

The prices at Biriyani House are very reasonable, especially considering the generous portions and the fact that the food is made fresh. Unsurprisingly, this place is always bustling with customers, but the slight wait is absolutely worth it. The staff is friendly and accommodating, making the dining experience even better.

The biriyanis and the Haleem were cooked to perfection, and the spice level was just right for our Aussie taste buds – moderately spicy, adding a delightful kick without overwhelming the palate.

I can't wait to visit Biriyani House again to relish their delightful biriyanis and savour another serving of their heavenly Haleem. If you're a fan of biriyani and love to explore unique flavours, this restaurant is a must-visit. You won't be...