KFC 401 Swanston Street — Restaurant in Melbourne

I don’t normally leave reviews, but my experience at KFC last night was so bafflingly bad that I feel like I need to warn others before they make the same life choices I did.

I went in around 7 PM. The place was half-empty, but somehow it still took nearly 25 minutes to get my food. When it finally came out, the chicken was lukewarm, the coating was soggy, and the meat was weirdly rubbery—like it had been microwaved three times and then left under a heat lamp to reflect on its poor life decisions.

The fries were cold. Not like, “Oh, they’ve been sitting out for a few minutes” cold—no, these were straight-up room temperature, limp, and tasted like they’d been seasoned with crushed dreams and fryer oil from 2003.

I asked for a Pepsi, got handed a cup with no lid, no ice, and it was clearly just flat soda syrup mixed with defeat.

To top it off, the restaurant was visibly dirty. Tables were sticky, floors were slick with something I didn’t want to identify, and the bin where you return your tray looked like it had become sentient and given up on life. Employees looked just as fed up to be there as I was. One guy was on his phone behind the counter laughing at TikToks while orders piled up.

Honestly, I left feeling gross, mildly annoyed, and somehow emotionally drained. I’ve never had a meal that made me feel like I needed a shower and a support group.

Never again. I’ll stick to regretting other fast...

KFC Swanston Street is exactly what you want in a city fried chicken stop: fast, hot and dependable when class runs late or you are changing trams. The front-of-house team keep the line moving with a mix of self-order kiosks and a counter queue, and orders hit the pass quickly even when the dinner rush wraps around the door. I’ve had consistently fresh chicken here, with that familiar peppery crunch on the Zinger and moist fillets inside. Wicked Wings arrive properly crisp, and the classic popcorn chicken with potato and gravy still feels like the right kind of nostalgia on a cold night.

Chips can be hit or miss depending on the rush, but asking for a fresh batch or a little extra seasoning has never been a problem. Burgers are assembled cleanly rather than sliding around in the wrap, and boxes are packed tight enough to survive a short walk to the State Library steps. Staff stay upbeat under pressure, calling out numbers clearly and fixing the odd missing sauce without fuss.

Seating is limited and turns over fast, so this is a grab-and-go spot more than a lingering meal. The dining area is kept tidy considering the volume, with quick wipes between waves of customers. For a convenient CBD feed that does what it says on the box, this...

I recently had the honour of experiencing this marvelous establishment and let me tell you, i was not disappointed. I was served by multiple people but one boy caught my eye. Hugo is a very good boy and helped me through the ordering process, convincing me to try his personal favourites on the menu. i must say that he is a very convincing and charismatic person as he convinced me to spend the money that i was saving for my sick dogs medicine, but lets be real he wasn't lasting forever. I had a very long-lasting conversation with this young man, he gave me some great advice about my troubles with the ladies. watching him work his magic with those fries was a highlight of my day, he is an expert with that salt shaker, let me tell you now, he knows how to work those fries. overall I had a magnificent time at this establishment and was the first time in three months i had a conversation last longer than a minute and a half. will be returning to see my favourite kfc employee. I give hugo 5 big booms on the boom to doom scale...