Asian Beer Cafe — Restaurant in Melbourne

As a connoisseur of both logic and common decency, I find it imperative to document my experience at this establishment, a place that, much like an uncalibrated particle accelerator, has no idea where it's going but insists on subjecting its patrons to unwarranted scrutiny.

Let’s begin with Security Theater 101: Upon arrival, I approached the entryway with a simple, straightforward query, "Is the kitchen open?" An elementary question, yet somehow beyond the cognitive bandwidth of not one, not two, but three individuals tasked with ensuring that sandals, of all things, do not corrupt the sacred floors of their fine institution. Two gentlemen and one lady stood there, presumably debating the metaphysical implications of my footwear, while my entirely legitimate ID underwent levels of scrutiny unseen since the Manhattan Project. Once they had ascertained that I was indeed a human of legal age and not, say, a sentient keg of beer attempting to infiltrate their domain, the lady in charge bestowed upon me the honor of her judgmental ocular scan, a full two-minute assessment of my existence, as if I were some unproven hypothesis in a particularly snobbish peer-reviewed journal.

And then, in a plot twist befitting only the most asinine of bureaucracies, I was deemed worthy of entering. Congratulations to me, I suppose?

Now, if this were a rational world, my saga would have ended there. But no. Upon stepping inside, basking in the glow of my newfound acceptance into this elite society of arbitrarily-dressed individuals, I proceeded to the bar—only to have a waitress inform me that the kitchen was closed.

Let me reiterate: The question I had asked before even stepping foot inside, the very catalyst for this entire charade was one that no one could be bothered to answer correctly. Instead, I was subjected to a Kafkaesque trial of footwear policies, ID verification, and existential evaluation, only to be informed that the very purpose of my visit had been rendered moot.

To summarize:

Staff competency: Comparable to a toddler attempting quantum mechanics.

Security protocol: Sandals = Crime Against Humanity.

Communication skills: A Möbius strip of inefficiency.

Customer service: The kind of warmth you'd expect from an Antarctic research station in midwinter.

So, dear reader, if you enjoy being looked up and down like a flawed mathematical equation, subjected to unnecessary security assessments, and ultimately deprived of the very thing you came for, then by all means, Asian Beer Café awaits.

However, if you, like me, prefer establishments that function with even a rudimentary grasp of logic, then I would suggest literally...

I visited the Asian Beer Cafe for my birthday weekend in September 2025 with some friends to kick off our night out on a busy Grand Final Saturday night. The venue is tucked away in Melbourne Central, making it super easy to get to via PTV. If you hop off at Melbourne Central station, just head up to the second from the top floor to find it. We arrived around 8.30pm and walked straight in with no wait, though physical IDs were required at the entry.

Inside, the space is huge with fun decor that makes the design stand out. At the front, there are pool tables and bar games like darts, while the long bar stretches along the other side with plenty of options from beers to spirits to wine. There’s heaps of seating throughout, including booths, bar tables, and a large balcony overlooking the street and State Library. There’s also a nice sized dance floor with music that people took to as the night went on.

We grabbed a booth inside and used the QR code to order food and drinks. My friends ordered pizza and chips to share, which were really hit the spot. Prices were a little on the higher side, but being the CBD that’s to be expected. We started with single cocktails, which were great, and then moved on to cocktail towers at around $50 each. They’re a good deal since they work out to roughly 6–8 drinks each tower. I loved that you could choose either cocktails or beer for the towers, which made it perfect for everyone in the group. The staff were friendly and quick with service, and even the security team was welcoming.

For what we ordered, we each spent a little over $50 for drinks and shared snacks, which was pretty reasonable for a night out in the city. The energy was buzzing, with TVs playing music clips, loud chatter filling the space, and a generally fun vibe that made it easy to start the night on a high. I’d recommend Asian Beer Cafe as a first stop for pre drinks or to kick off a night out with friends. It’s easy to access, has a great atmosphere, and offers plenty of variety whether you’re after a quick bite, a few drinks, or a big cocktail tower to share. It’s a really solid venue to set the tone for the...

Extremely rude and disrespectful staff. I had a Kit Kat paperbag with me when I was asked to leave the balcony area or put it away in my bag. Not exactly sure why, so I uttered, why are there so many rules in this bar? Reasonable question I suppose, to which the bouncer rudely retorted with "If you don't like it, go somewhere else!" When my boyfriend and I returned, the bouncer refused to let us back in the balcony area, which led to my boyfriend confronting the bouncer about the earlier incident. The liar of a bouncer claimed that I yelled at him. Which I calmly told him twice, I didn't. Sensing that I called him out and wouldn't back down, the liar back-pedalled with "Ok, you gave me bad attitude". If you tell me that you're just doing your job to prevent food from being consumed in the smoking area, look at most of the drinks serve at your bar - they have pieces of fruit in them, which I'm pretty sure is considered FOOD. I am not even consuming any food but had a food-related paperbag in my hand. Secondly, what if the paperbag is empty and does not even contain food? Will you start refusing entry to people who carry food-related bag? What about supermarket-branded green bags? What are you going to do about them? Are your staff going to tell your customers "If you don't like it, go somewhere else"? Guess what? I think you SHOULD go elsewhere where you don't have to deal with this type of appalling service. There is Father's Office, which has a great balcony area and is just down the road at QV. I will also recommend Rooftop Bar (Lvl 6, 252 Swanston St), Emerald Peacock (233 Lonsdale St), Red Hummingbird (246 Russell St), The Carlton (193 Bourke St) and Goldilocks (264 Swanston St) Just don't go to Asian Beer Cafe where the staff is rude, appalling...