Lava Cafe Restaurant Bar & Lava Lounge — Restaurant in Melbourne

If the steak could only be as friendly to my jaw be as the waitress was serving me, we could well have had a better review.

The lovely and constantly smiling Asian waitress is by far the best this restaurant has to offer. Well maybe, the salad wasn't bad either? Should have had the salad by itself, me think in hindsight.

What was supposesed to be a black Angus steak was.... Well not sure what it was in the end?

Here is my story:

As the large plate flopped in front of me, my eyes joyfully stroked over what looked like a really delicious thick steak, criss crossed with dark grill lines. Oh it looked so delicious.

Got to keep the best for last, I mumbled to myself as I sheepishly chewed on the green salad that dexorated the right third of my plate.

Working my way from right to left, towards the main prize, I kind of choked on the thick potato chips. Not fried long enough I though as I forced it down with a drink. Never mind I thought, who wants chips if you can devour a nice tender medium rare Angus instead? The oversized steak knife felt strangely comfortable in my hand. Wow I can kill a cow with this damn thing, I thought by myself, as I playfully mimicked the actions in front of me, to the distress of the only single couple in the far corner. Any way, enough of that, let's eat, I encouraged myself. Lest start at the far narrow edge of the steak, I thought, and work my way to the thicker centre where the tender inner core awaits me. Damn.... This knife sure is blunt, I thought as I saw may way through the meat. is there even a bit of pink, I wondered as I turn my plate towards the ligh to find it. Maybe a little, or maybe just my imagination. My teeth didn't fare any better then the big ass steak knife. Jaw muscles straining , bite after bite. More drink, I need more liquid to get this down, searching for the bottle of water on the table that was never there to start off with. I got half way, the pink colour showed but the texture of the meat reminded me of something I would eat out of the microwave the day after the BBQ. The chips became my saviour as they pushed the tough goo down my throut with the help of a few drops of gravy that I assume must have been the intended mushroom sauce I ordered.

Oh well, at least the waitress showed some concern when I pushed the half finished pile to the furthest corner of the table I could find. Is there anything wrong?, she asked motherly as she collected the plate. It's not her fault, I thought to myself, she is after all the best thing this Restaurant has to offer, so I recreated her friendly smile as best as I could and told her that it wasn't to my liking. Don't worry about it, I said, still smiling when she seemed confused as to what to say next, waving her away. Relieved she scurried away with the dead meat in her hands.

So here is my verdict. If you like smiling asian waitresses, then this is the...

I had lunch at Lava Cafe in Berwick last Wednesday afternoon (14th December) for my Mother’s birthday. Unfortunately I had an issue with my main meal.

I ordered a chicken parmigiana with chips and veg. I ate the veg and a portion of my chips which were tasty, but when I went to eat the parma, the chicken smelt and tasted off.

When I sent it back to the kitchen, the waitress came out to ask for further information on why I didn’t like my meal, of which I reiterated that it tasted like it was off. She claimed that the chicken gets delivered “every day” and that “many others have ordered the chicken today and no one had complained”. Whilst that’s a fair enough assumption, that wasn’t a relevant response for my situation as I was basically being told that I was wrong, and there was nothing wrong with my meal. Clearly none of the staff or kitchen had tasted or smelt the chicken as it was obviously not right, and they would have realised that had they done so.

I was offered a replacement meal, but the situation made me lose my appetite so I kindly refused.

While the rest of my table were finishing their mains, a delivery driver from M&J Chickens walked in with a couple of boxes, which I assume was the “daily order”. This tells me that the chicken I ordered was definitely not delivered that day and must not have been stored correctly overnight.

A lady at the table next to us also returned their meal to the kitchen and did not receive a replacement. She then disappeared to the bathroom for a good 10 minutes before returning looking quite ill.

When I have personally dealt with food safety issues in the past, it was expected of me, as a manager, to treat it seriously and properly investigate the issue. The way that my complaint was “brushed off” tells me that the restaurants processes don’t follow the same importance.

On another note, the nachos we ordered as a starter was literally a pile of broken chips that looked like the crumbs at the bottom of the bag had been poured on the plate and covered with the toppings, and the chips tasted quite stale, like the bag had been left open and unsealed.

I paid the restaurant the courtesy of attempting to deal with this privately, but just like when I attempted to address it at the restaurant, I received no response on the issue.

What an absolute rabble. I will never return to Lava Cafe and advise anyone else to avoid...

I would have given this cafe a much higher rating but for the stingy portion size I received! I eat mostly vegetarian food and wanted a filling meal. I observed the portion sizes of all the other meals being served, which were quite generous, and didn't feel the need to quiz the waitress about the size of the risotto (one of only a few vegetarian options). It was listed as a main and was priced as per other mains.

Although the service was very good and the taste of the risotto was great I finished my tiny offering about 15 minutes before my partner finished his enormous meal (which contained ingredients which must have been more expensive than the vegetables, rice and sprinkling of pine nuts in my meal).

Many restaurants are far too stingy with serving sizes of vegetarian meals. The markup on a risotto containing no meat must be enormous. The waitress mentioned that the cost of pine nuts makes it more expensive, this seems like a cop out but I would have been more than happy to go without them if it meant I received a decent sized meal.

I went home and had a sandwich. Very...