Maison Bâtard — Restaurant in Melbourne

The Valentine's Day set menu was priced at $245 per person, but the dishes felt like pre-made or semi-finished products. The chicken liver didn’t taste as good as what I buy from Queen Victoria Market, and the accompanying crackers were inferior to those from Woolworths. The starter was dry, and the jambon lacked flavor. The seafood platter was fresh but lacked any technical finesse. The steak was overly dry and hard to swallow, though the fries were probably the best part of the meal. As for the dessert, it was overly sweet and cloying.

Regarding the Service: I made the reservation a month ago, specifically requesting an indoor table. However, I realized I had booked the wrong time and immediately called to correct it. Upon arrival, I was informed that my table was on the balcony. Despite my initial good mood, I didn’t complain.

The balcony was excessively cramped, with nine tables squeezed into a small space, making it difficult to even move my arms comfortably. I understand it’s Valentine’s Day and the restaurant wants to maximize profits, but this was unacceptable.

Throughout the meal, the servers did not introduce the dishes—they simply stated the name, placed the dish down, and left. For a restaurant at this price point, this level of service is simply inadequate. When ordering the steak, the server didn’t even ask how we wanted it cooked. I had to call her back to specify, which was highly unprofessional.

Shortly after we were seated, it began to rain. The awning above our table (and the tables next to us) provided insufficient coverage, leaving those seated at the edges, including myself, partially exposed to the rain. The servers showed no initiative—it wasn’t until we started moving the tables ourselves that they half-heartedly offered assistance. Not once did they apologize for the inconvenience caused by the poor design of the outdoor seating.

When the second, heavier rain started, the couple to our right was relocated (presumably after they requested it), but no one approached us to offer the same. I waited for at least 30 minutes, expecting the staff to address the issue, but no one did. Even when a server asked how the steak was, and I replied that it was mediocre and that I was unhappy due to the rain, she made no effort to offer a solution or relocate us. The couple to our left also remained in the rain, and no one offered to move them either.

It wasn’t until dessert was about to be served that a server finally asked if we wanted to move to a small sofa indoors that had been empty for at least 20 minutes. By then, my patience had worn thin. When I expressed my dissatisfaction, the server simply said, “I hope the dessert makes you feel better.”

The dessert was, as expected, overly sweet and unpleasant. When the server came to process the bill and asked how everything was, I replied, “Terrible. None of the dishes were good tonight.” The server merely expressed regret without any meaningful resolution.

Additionally, when we ordered wine, the server failed to inform us that the bottle we chose was unusually small. This lack of communication and training was evident throughout the evening. The wine list, like the overall experience, with Lucas Group,was overpriced and underwhelming.

I cannot speak to the quality of the restaurant on other occasions, but based on this experience, I will never dine at any Lucas Group restaurants again. $700 for such a disappointing and frustrating experience is simply...

Dined in last night for my birthday with my partner, and whilst the food was lovely, the service was shocking. (I will say that the wine guru was wonderful, he really knew his stuff, knew what quality service was, and helped me pick out a lovely wine!). The waiters that brought our food had absolutely no clue, and stood at our table waiting for us to push the plates around and make room for them to place the food. They just looked at us with a puzzled look- it was like it was their first ever hospitality shift and they had no clue...

Moving on, our waiter at the table was great for the most part, until it came to ordering dessert. The second we had our table cleared from mains (which we ordered quite a lot), the dessert menu was put on our table. We were so so full, however really did want to order dessert (just not right away). Waiter came over a few minutes later to take our dessert order. We asked if we could just sit and order a few more drinks before dessert, as we weren't in a rush to eat again straight away. I said to him what's the rush? He said he had to go ask because the table was booked again in 20 minutes (mind you there were about 4 other empty tables in the area nearby so I don't quite understand the rush to get us out, when we were spending quite a bit and happy to order and spend even more). He came back and said sorry you need to be out in 20 minutes. (Which is not the way to go about something like this WTF?! Especially when you know it's somebody's birthday...) He then proceeded to ask if we wanted dessert which we were that irritated and said no to because we were still so full.

He comes back to the table about 2 minutes later and plonks the bill on the table (we had no opportunity to even ask for it- who does that?!!). No ask of tea or coffee, or a digestif to finish off with... Then another 2 minutes later, a different staff member in a navy blue suit, doesn't say a word to us, comes and plonks the eftpos machine on the table, with the amount to be paid already entered. I thought we were told we had another 20 mins so why are we rushed out within 5 minutes? Good customer service would entail at a bare minimum a question such as 'how was your meal?'. Nope NOTHING. Simply felt like a hurry up, pay up, and leave. Absolutely disgusted. He couldn't even look at us. Mind you, all of the tables in our vicinity were seated before us, and eating/drinking already when we walked in, and by the time we got shoved out, they were all still seated- so I don't get why we were rushed out at all (mind you they were all parties of 2 as well, just like us). Why could the other parties have a longer sitting, and not us?

This place really needs to get their shit together customer service wise because wow, such a big let down. Especially when the food is actually half decent, it's a huge shame the restaurant is run by young adults with clearly very little hospitality experience.

Unfortunately won't be back...

I quote "Lean into Maison Bâtard's air of Parisian romance and sophistication to make this an unforgettable Valentine's Day rendezvous."

Let digest this shall we?

Lean = Yes this is correct, the amount of food for $330 PER PERSON would make anyone lean!

Romance = My girlfriend always tell me I aint romanic enough but alas I got beaten by the restaurant, there was nothing romantic about this place. Just felt I was on a P&O cruise.

Sophistication = My french bulldog is more sophisticated

Unforgettable = They nailed this brief, I certainly wont forget this experience

Rendezvous = We can all collectivly agree for those that attended that my opinions are not unique.

What a waste of $330 per person! I am not one to normally complain but when you spend this amount of money you expect to have a great experience. What a terrible dissapointment, not only was our seat shoved in the corner where we really couldnt see any of the entertainment, accept I had a nice view of the POS machine.

I honestly felt the chefs were literally brought in from the P&O cruise as mentioned above. Not even the good cruise like the crap cruise that people go on to die.

My girlfriend asked for bread but that couldnt be supplied so we got a 4 day old Baked Potatoe which I literally think the chef found at the back of the fridge.

The steak was dry and chewy and to cover for this they tried to drown it in a sauce. $330 is a lot of money for steak and chips, not even a salad! Like what? How much does salad cost?

In keeping with the lean theme the dessert was tiny and no bigger than my thumb (I have normal size thumbs not gigantic ones either). This is definetly a restaurant that is more interested in churning and burning (like my steak) than to make the experience worthwhile.

If you were taking someone here on a 1st date, make sure you grab the internet password (you cant get phone reception downstairs which is great not to have unless you cant see the entertainment) so you can jump on Tinder/Grinder or whatever your flavour as your date wont stick around for long thinking you dont know how to book a romantic restaurant.

Stay clear unless you feel like donating money to the Lucas Group. Its...