Paper Plane Cafe Parramatta — Restaurant in Sydney

I've never attended a cafe expecting a transcendent experience. A decent coffee, a hot meal perhaps... a sense of fleeting peace before the horrors of life resume. This morning didn't go to plan.

45 minutes for a bowl of thick chips... actually 2 bowls, but I'll return to that in a moment. Not a steak, or stew, or some sort of elaborate egg dish... chips that arrived 10 minutes after a prompt to staff. While sipping at the coffee that arrived in a relatively timely manner, I imagined a sack of potatoes fighting a chef... what would cause such a delay?

Back to the start - 2 coffees, 1 bowl of 'bad boys', and 1 halloumi something-something breakfast plate. While checking out via the QR code ordering system, the cart momentarily emptied after I read the order out to my girlfriend to confirm, and then I refreshed, it reappeared, and I proceeded to pay.

Coffees arrived promptly, but after 45 minutes, 2 bowls of chips arrived. I'm not mad at the staff, and I'm not mad at the 2nd bowl of blameless chips. The startled waitress wasn't sure how to react upon hearing the news, and scampered away for the receipt to verify it. Sure enough, the receipt listed 2 bowls of the chips and no halloumi whatever-it-is-named plate. She offered the breakfast plate, to which I said "No... It'll take too long", she offered a refund, and I accepted.

A second staff member appeared with an iPad and asked "Would you like to refund the whole order?", I replied "Well we have part of the order, but I'll take a full refund if you are offering?", or something like that. She laughed and refunded 1 bowl of chips. I guess that is fine, but I was open to my back being scratched to redeem the experience... Alas, my back remains itchy.

I sat there, with my girlfriend half confused and half annoyed, an hour older, gnawing at fried potatoes at 11am, looking like I may have made a mistake... I swear it was that QR code ordering system... I'm not a grumpy person. I thought about the staff, young women who are likely starved of connection working as human conveyor belts given the digitalisation of the ordering system, Uber Eats and so on. The vague cliche quotes on the wall, written in chalk... something like "let your inner self shine!" or "its never too early for a coffee!" didn't taste right in this moment. The philosopher Byung Chul Han writes about depression appearing as a failure to become the project one is supposed to be within the neoliberal regime of positivity. In this cafe, I am supposed to be joyous, productive and chic, and you can see the staff subconsciously trying to be this with their nice makeup and gymwear. Regional towns have cultural moats that protect them from this type of cultural decay, and I found myself longing for a small bakery in Deniliquin with $7 meat and salad rolls and $4 coffees.

Of all the things this cafe could be, a reliable one historically for me, it has become this... a brunch purgatory... the refund for the second bowl of chips won't compensate the hour lost. Considering the broader philosophical thoughts I experienced in this time, I laughed at the feeling of existential starvation in a place of nourishment.

The staff weren't the problem, I'll be clear. They were polite in that gently anesthetised way people are when responsibility has been outsourced to technology (the QR code ordering system).

My girlfriend and I got a banh mi from around the corner on the walk home. While making small talk, I thought about Mark Fisher's book 'Capitalist Realism', which had a quote to the effect of "the ruling ideology doesn't need to directly repress us, because we ourselves become our own enforcer"... From here, this will play out algorithmically, where perhaps the owner will reply to this review with an apology and promise of some sort of investigation (and maybe some compensation, I wouldn't say no, lol), people will read it and either enjoy it or think I'm weird (I am), and I'll still be here, navigating entropy.

So yeah... One star, because Zero stars isn't a thing - much like my...

Where do I even start, this was an experience as a whole. The loving, homely atmosphere of the paper plane invites people of all sorts, making it the best place for almost any situation. From romantic dates to family gatherings to a catch up with the friends, you cannot go wrong with this place. For the first time in my 19 years living here never have I been this amazed by hollandaise sauce. But this place has changed my life. The avocado is ripe yet soft, the bread crisp, succulent and clean and the sauce, The sauce is FIRE. Mix this holy sauce with beautifully poached eggs and you got the holy trinity. Come here if you want to be enlightened, it's an unforgettable experience that will truly feel alive. 11 out of 10 will come here again. As for the french toast, presentation is beautiful that you can't even decide where to start, you wouldn't want to disturb God's creation, it's like the third coming of Christ. Upon the first bite into the soft bread that cuts like butter, the bread synthesises so well with the berry sauce and ice cream, causing perfect harmonisation. Each component deserves a 10 out of 10 but together they are beyond 100 out of 10, simply amazing. The sauce is divine, with each bite carrying a spiritual journey, bringing you closer to a higher state of mind. The fruits add a beautiful natural flavour to the dish, refreshing your body and soul. The Big Brekkie has clearly earnt it's name and rep in this cornerstone of Parramatta. Imagine an empty plate as a blank canvas waiting for an artist to give it life. Sole, desolate and without purpose. This was my plate until the employees at Paper Plane laid their masterful hands upon it . Not one inch was spared, with swift brushes the artists masterfully prepared a gallery of pieces. The result is a one of kind original comparable to the masterpieces of Van Gogh, Picasso, Monet, Da Vinci and even Warhol, if they say this work, they will be rolling in their graves. As our heavenly father above brought our mortal plane into existence in the seven days of creation. Paper planes has created a dish of 7 parts matching his work. How each element worked hand in hand, it was as if I was witnessing a magnificent performance, a dance, or perhaps a spectacular musical piece. Performed by the orchestra of tasty foods, the conductors in the kitchen making them work together to become something even further beyond. Cannot recommend this place enough. There are two types of people in the world. Those who have been to the paper plane and those who haven't. I know which...

Came sometime during the weekday with my daughter to have a quick catch up over some coffee and brunch. The waitress who served us was quite rude, she came over to our table multiple times when we told her that we’d let her know when we were ready to order, she was incredibly impatient. When we were finally ready to order we waved at her multiple times and she looked at us and continued walking, we waiting another 5 mins before my daughter had to get up and walk to the counter to ask her to take our order. She insisted we ordered through the QR code however we preferred for our order to be taken in person which she did. As she was taking our order she kept rudely interrupting us when we must have mistaken an item name for something else. When our food arrived the food was scattered, almost as if she didn’t hold the items properly, we ordered 1 serving on the ‘big breakfast’ and a ‘chicken chumichurri bowl’. The toast on the big breakfast was nearly falling off the plate when received and the avocado on the chicken bowl was on the side of the plate, extremely unorganised. It became even more poor was when our coffee was served. I ordered the large cappuccino in a mug, she aggressively put the cup down on the table so fast the coffee overflowed and spilt onto the coaster plate it was served with to which she did not apologise for. I moved to Sydney from QLD with my family nearly 23 years ago and I’ve never ever in my life experienced such bad customers service, especially from a cafe which one of my old mates recommended for me to try out. Please watch out for the rude waitress, she was of brown / Indian decent. Before leaving I asked for her name, cannot remember exactly what it was just I remember it started with Ro something not too sure. Will definitely not be coming back. Save your money not only to get good food but good customer service. Very very disappointed and...