GRAPES — Restaurant in Banff

Traveling from Courtenay to Banff, looping around Edmonton to Jasper, I had eaten at some of the best restaurants in Western Canada, from Araxi in Whistler to Tojo’s in Vancouver. Yet the one review I most looked forward to was this one. I passed by Grapes on my first day in Banff, but decided on Samurai’s sushi instead, telling my girlfriend later that our return would be inevitable. The next evening, after getting blissfully tipsy at the nearby Wines of Canada store, we tumbled into the wine bar for an evening meal (well, I tumbled, she guided).

It goes without saying that this place is small, like Seth Rogan’s acting range small, like Wal-Mart’s interest in its employees small. It has six tables and a bar. It also has no real kitchen to speak of—everything is crafted behind the bar. Are there microwaves, blenders, and griddles? No. What you will find are home-cured meats, cheeses, and preserves and pickles still in their jars. But wait, you’d ask, what does Grapes serve, other than obviously wine? The answer is cheese fondues and charcuteries.

Now, if that doesn’t sound totally awesome, then you are not worthy of Grapes Wine Bar. Stop reading now. I mean it; it’s only going to get better, and I can’t be held responsible for the consequences. Soon, you may end up drinking coffee with your pinky raised, changing your Instagram photo daily, and dressing like a hobo from the 1930’s. Grapes is fantastic, the kind of place I kept thinking about weeks afterward, the kind I told people about in my hometown. Another restaurant owner asked what kind of restaurant I’d like to see in my hometown, and I described this very place. Even he agreed that it was awesome. Oh yeah, and it has wine apparently to.

Look, here’s the thing, the best way to describe Grapes is that it’s a sushi bar, replacing sushi with charcuterie. Customers take a seat, enjoy a glass or two—or ten—of wine, then sit back and enjoy the pageantry of the chef building your plate in front of you. Like an itamae, he or she (ours was a she) sets down a canvas—a wooden board with a stone for texture—in which the artist places cheese, preserves, dressings and meats upon. The preparation is akin to watching a lava lamp and the final presentation that of art. She stretched a spoonful of scorpion pepper mustard across one side, then gently placed wedges of cheese at equal points, following that with honey dripped like a Pollock masterpiece. Fruits followed nuts, ground up between the mountains of cheese. Then came the meat, four different kinds. We could hardly see the board by this point, yet she continued. Dollops of jam was spooned over the wedges. Afterwards came the pickles, peppers and peaches, carrots and cauliflower, dried first before placement. Throughout it all, the chef offered casual conversation. At the end, she explained everything, revealing that each placement was made with purpose. The selections closest to one another augmented each other, with the entire plate meant to be enjoyed like a book, left to right. Softest cheeses matched with blackberry jam sided with house-made pancetta. Roasted red pepper tequila jelly matched with cheddar fringed by elk salami. Smoked blue cheese under cold pickled cherries next to double smoked beef sausage.

At this point, I’ve spend nearly 630 words on foreplay, and you’re wondering where the main act is. Like a proper romantic assignation, the food was amazing. They kept offering me bread as it ran out. Each mouthful was an entirely new experience, salty with sweet, spicy with bitter, and with each bite washed with a sample of wine. Past haute French cuisine and excellent sushi, Grapes was one of the most enjoyable culinary experiences I’ve ever had, and to think that it barely cost me $50. And that was for two, with my meticulous girlfriend even admitting it...

Our group reserved the cellar (private) room which we were looking forward to. When we arrived, the waitress informed us that we had been moved to the general dining area because another party brought more people than they had reserved so they could only fit them in the cellar. So due to the other group not reserving the correct amount of people, we lost the private room that we had reserved. We were not made aware of this until we arrived which was also unacceptable - at least give us a call. Waitress apologized but that's it. Food was good but will not be returning due to...

Overrated and very disappointing, my family and I ordered a couple appetizers and had to send them all back, one even had multiple hairs in it. Spoke with Chef Tyler Thompson and he was very sheepish with how bad the food was, he even Cursed multiple times and seemed partly intoxicated or on drugs as you could smell him from a distance. I guess it used to be a good spot to go and now it is falling apart. Would recommend going to a different...