The Melbourne Cafe — Restaurant in Kolkata

To be brutally honest, the place is an absolute disgrace. The cafe has a charming decor but that's about it. Right from food to service to non-availability of basic restaurant necessities like water and tissues and a major ot chunk of what you see on the menu, everything is designed to con the diner. I had the misfortune of visiting The Melborune Cafe today and unwittingly commited the cardinal sin of ordering a chicken dish for dinner which almost took an hour to arrive and when it finally did, the very sight of the infernal dish almost brought the lunch I had earlier in the day, out of my guts. The chicken was barely cooked, the mashed potato had degenerated into a gelatinous liquid with ugly mounds rearing their heads here and there. A few pieces of barely grilled veggies at the fringes of the plate made a feeble attempt to redeem the dish. Raising a complaint was even more frustrating as the waiter simply shrugged his shoulder and called the chef who put up the flimsiest of poker faces. Throughout this hour-long ordeal, the cafe didn't even have the courtesy of asking for or serving water. I can see the the owners of Melbourne cafe reacting to favourable reviews with cute emojis- genuinely wonder how they got them- and I'm quite sure they will simply ignore this one. It would've felt much better if I could hand over a similar sum to those who seek money at the Jadavpur PS traffic signal instead of filling the coffers of this unworthy cafe. At least those guys would've blessed me.Tomorrow one might see some food vlogger singing paens to Melbourne Cafés food, but the reality is that this place is a scam...

The food is very bad. The cakes are so hard , they claim it's fresh but personally I think it's either made badly or stale . The cheesecakes we ordered it was literally crumbling when cut and we had bite hard to eat it. The coffee tasted so road side. I make better cold coffee at home. It should have some creaminess to it right but it was so watery . It's a cafe cmon make your coffees good at least, that's the first thing one orders. The pizza was so bland and flavourless. Yes the getup and ambience was good, but the waiters and staff they were so clueless and puzzled over everything. When we went it wasn't busy at all still they are so slow at serving the orders, when asked to just serve us their stale nausea inducing cakes first, they literally had to take it from their show case and give it to us but for that also delay. During serving also no decency of providing cutlery, they just served and ran off. I had to go to another table and take cutlery . The waters well very well mannered but they seem to me , they just don't know what to be done , they were so blank faced and clueless, that I really felt pity for them. Bottom line had some great pictures , but the food and coffee felt like puking. Update - we had stomach upset from late that night and next day. The lemon cheesecake was stale. Just visit some other cafes in lake gardens like beanshot and snacking. This place ka food is just horrible it'll send...

The wait time is awful (we were sitting upstairs). There is close to no service upstairs. Ordered the fish fingers, that was excellent and beautifully presented too. The soup was almost served cold, the server took close to 15 mins (!) to bring back reheated soup, which caused the coconut milk to curdle. Nevertheless the taste was good. The service was terrible, no water, no tissues, no waiter to be found anywhere. I had to leave the table to go looking for the waiter. The last thing we ordered was a salad, mostly thinking that it would take less time to prep. That took ages, 45 mins, it was the grilled prawn salad, the prawns were not grilled at ALL(see pic). The waiter made up some random excuse saying the prawns were grilled with their shells on, and then shelled. There were zero grill marks on the prawn/shrimp (see pic to see how pale it looks). Also the salad was subpar, absolutely not worth it. I don’t think I’ll go back again. Too bad, since some of the food actually tasted...