INSPECTOR LOUNGE by Inspector GG — Restaurant in Warsaw

As a loyal customer since times at Plac Konstytucji I was destroyed during my last visit. I was always keen on the friendly staff and chill atmosphere. A lot of this has changed dramatically for worse.

I’ve organized a business meeting with my partner who never had a chance to visit this place. I’ve reserved a table via phone and it went well.

Then we came and the lady asked my something in Ukrainian. I was not sure what was asked so I’ve confirmed that I had reservation. Then she raised her voice and with anger asking again the same in Ukrainian. We switched to English and it was all about we want to seat inside or outside…

I’ve felt ashamed by the quality of the service in front of my business partner. Yeah, good occasion to „see the best hookah place in Warsaw”.

Then we were notified about 2 hour deadline, which was not passed during a phone call.

I’ve asked for an invoice 3 months ago and guess what - after some nodding on chats I received absolutely nothing.

Don’t understand me wrong. This is still the place with the best hookah, I would easily say in Poland. Guys behind it are the best in class and kudos for them. But the level of service, doubtful atmoshpere (just wait 1 minute in the entrance and feel uncomfortable by the other not interested people in the lobby - security?) and misinformation about your reservation is just not acceptable.

And thus concluding this - TL;DR. I’ve been in their chain of lounges since 2019 and that was my last visit. I would go rather for a mediocre hookah in other place than stand the aggressiveness...

Сьогодні вирішили завітати до цього ресторану, і, на жаль, наш досвід виявився справжньою кулінарною пригодаю. Заклад виглядав приємно, але враження почали падати одразу ж, як тільки нас зустріли на російській мові. Так, ви не помилились — у Польщі! Я прийшла послухати польську, а не дивитися на гастрономічну версію дипломатичної катастрофи. Замовили ми, здавалося б, класичні страви: котлета по-київськи, котлети з кролика та стейк міньйон. О, як ми помилялися... Котлета по-київськи? Скоріше, "котлета по-жахіттю". Виглядала вона так, ніби її зліпили за лаштунками кулінарного шоу, де ніхто не виграв. Паніровка настільки суха і тверда, що могла б стати елементом декору. Курка? Жорстка і суха. Що стосується кістки – здається, її зачищав не кухар, а учень на першому тижні навчання. Єдине світло в кінці цього тунелю — картопляне пюре. Але чи варто йому радіти? Хіба картопля може врятувати кулінарний провал? Котлети з кролика теж викликали масу емоцій, щоправда, не тих, на які ми сподівались. Офіціантка з гордістю повідомила, що кролик — це пісне м’ясо. А ще воно було сухе і холодне. Мабуть, кухар вирішив, що котлети повинні бути подані одразу з холодильника — для "ефекту свіжості". А що до котлет — скоріше це були плесканці з м’яса, ніж справжні котлети. Такий гастрономічний сюрприз! А тепер про справжню зірку вечора — стейк міньйон. Це було щось особливе. Всередині він був сирим. Так, не просто rare, а майже "прямо з холодильника". Коли ми звернули увагу офіціантки, вона запропонувала досмажити стейк. Так, ви не ослухалися — досмажити вже розрізаний і залитий соусом стейк! Цікаво, чи хтось на кухні розуміє, як працює м'ясо? До того ж офіціантка пояснила нам про якийсь "стандартний" ступінь просмажки. Очевидно, сирий стейк — це тепер новий тренд. Що ж до обслуговування — це ціла окрема комедія. Офіціанти не лише непривітні, але й явно не дуже обізнані в елементарних речах, як-от ступінь просмажки м'яса або те, як спілкуватися з клієнтами. Пересміювалися між собою, коли нас проводжали до столу, створюючи атмосферу майже дружньої глузливості. А мовний хаос? Російська, польська, українська — все вперемішку. В результаті відчуття, що ти на кулінарному шоу, де кожен робить, що хоче, і на якій мові вийде. Підсумок — вечеря в цьому закладі стала справжнім випробуванням. Стейк міньйон за 160 zł, який навіть кіт би не їв, котлети з морозилки та атмосферний сервіс із ноткою глузування. Не можу дочекатися наступного візиту — о, вибачте, ніколи більше. Today we decided to visit this restaurant, and unfortunately, our experience turned into a real culinary adventure. Our impressions started to plummet as soon as we were greeted in Russian. We ordered what seemed like classic dishes: chicken Kyiv, rabbit cutlets, and a filet mignon. Oh, how wrong we were...

Chicken Kyiv? More like "chicken horror." It looked as if it had been thrown together behind the scenes of a cooking show where no one won. The breading was so dry and hard it could have been used as a decorative piece. The chicken? Tough and dry. The only saving grace was the mashed potatoes. The rabbit cutlets also sparked emotions, but not the kind we had hoped for. The waitress proudly informed us that rabbit is lean meat. And indeed, it was lean — dry and cold. Apparently, the chef thought the cutlets should be served straight from the fridge — for the "freshness effect." As for the cutlets, they were more like meat patties than proper cutlets.

And now for the true star of the evening — the filet mignon. ThisIt was raw inside. Yes, not just rare but almost "straight from the fridge." When we pointed this out to the waitress, she offered to cook it further. Yes, you heard right — cook an already cut and sauced steak! Does anyone in the kitchen understand how meat works? On top of that, the waitress explained something about a "standard" level of doneness. Apparently, a raw steak is the new trend. In conclusion, dinner at this establishment was quite the ordeal. A filet mignon for 160 zł. I can't wait for my next visit — oh, wait,...

Wanted to check out this place because it's near to where my apartment is, and wanted to like it. However, waiter got off to a pretty poor impression by starting to speak Russian to us immediately. Thankfully my date did speak Russian since Polish or English were apparently not options ¯(ツ)/¯, not the biggest deal in the world but it just was a little bit off-putting. Honestly that would have been fine except we ordered some cocktails and the server stated that they couldn't make a Negroni...come to find out a few minutes later that it's actually on on cocktail menu and they could make it (it's literally three ingredients, come on). Even this would have been forgiveable as the hookah was actually quite good. The worst was yet to come though, paid the bill by card and upon exiting was informed that there was a problem with the transaction. The manager ran the card again and I thought nothing of it. HOWEVER, I checked the card statement this morning to find I had been double charged. At 350zł being double charged is ridiculous and I'll obviously be disputing the charge. Honestly if you are trying to be a "high-class" type place all of this taken together is pretty unacceptable. Left one extra star because the hookah service was good but really it...