Oodles Wok Birmingham Ladypool — Restaurant in Birmingham

Picture, if you will, a weay, tired man who is meandering through the urban culinary wasteland in search of nourishment, only to be lured—fool that I am—by the sizzling siren song of Oodles Wok, a so-called “Asian fusion” eatery whose motto might as well be “heat, toss, and hope for the best.” One enters Oodles Wok not through a grand archway of aromatic promise, but under the cold glow of LED signage and an interior so aggressively beige it could be a waiting room in a minor dental surgery. Stainless steel, grimly lit sneeze guards, and a menu emblazoned in Comic Sans scream “fast casual,” though I would argue the experience is neither.

You’re handed a box. A cardboard coffin. And into it, you are instructed to cram your “base” (noodles or rice), your “protein” (a word that here means anything that once had a pulse or convincingly imitates it), and a sauce of your choosing—from the sickly sweet to the violently synthetic. Imagine a wok not as a vessel for delicate balance and flame-kissed flavour, but as a weapon wielded by someone who once watched a cooking tutorial muted on TikTok.

I opted for egg noodles with chicken in black bean sauce. A safe choice, I thought. Oh, reader—how wrong I was.

The noodles were overcooked to a limp, tragic tangle. The chicken, rubbery and resentful, bore the texture of something boiled in doubt. As for the black bean sauce—it tasted as though soy sauce and treacle had fought to the death and both had lost. A murky, gloopy sludge that clung to the noodles like guilt. Vegetables—if one dares call them that—were tossed in as an afterthought, limp, lifeless, and clearly having seen better days… perhaps in 2019.

The portion size, however, was impressive. One could feed a small rowing team with a single box. But alas, volume does not equal virtue—if it did, a wheelbarrow of gravel would be considered a snack.

Service was brisk, though not so much “friendly” as “resigned.” The young man behind the counter had the expression of someone who has been asked one too many times whether teriyaki is spicy. He handed me my order as one might hand over a lost item retrieved from a train toilet.

And oh, the ambiance—trays rattling, sauces squirting, teenagers shouting into their phones while ploughing through MSG-laden mountain ranges. One could hardly expect Mozart, but would a touch of...

I would give this place a zero if i could! Absolutely disgusting behaviour from the staff, went in for the first time as i wanted to try something new, was unfortunately served by little miss attitude, who first didnt want to serve us when i told them my daughter had allergies and told us they dont do food that would cater for her, then was told to scan a qr code to see the allergy chart, checked the chart and literally the 90% of the menu was okay for my daughter to have. When i told her this she was like oh well u buy at your own risk we are not responsible for anything. Like i understand but whats with the attitude. Then while ordering i had to double check each item to ensure it was safe for my daughter to eat and the lady was so impatient and tried to rush us, mind you this was a quiet day and no1 was in queue. I even apologised that i had to go over everything and check before ordering and she just rolled her eyes and walked off. We sat down n waited for our food, id never felt so uncomfortable in a restaurant till today, went to get our food and sat down and i notice i was missing a drink, while walking up one of the cooks was looking at me and laughing while talking to the lady who served me. Clearly they mocking and talking about us she came up to me sniggering and i told her she forgot my drink and she just giggled and gave it to me.. like what immature behaviour.. and is this how they treat there customers! Outrageous

As for the food it was just as appalling, it was a mushy mess and tasted horrible.. i normally hate wasting food but i could not even stomach it and have to leave the food half way.. will never be going back again nor recommending this place to anyone! Take some lessons in customer service and manners and learn how to cook, my daughter makes better...

Me & my family used to love this place but after a few bad experiences we stayed away for a while. But then decided to give it another shot, how wrong could I have been.

Placed a online order on 29/11/19 just before 4pm expecting it to be delivered around 5. If only, rang around 5.10 to ask how long & was told driver left 5-10 mins earlier. Considering my house is only 5 mins by car i thought any minute now. After several further calls & telling the store that no one will be in after 6, I wanted a refund. Refund promised plus told by someone going by the name of Ifty that if food arrived before my departure we could have it on the house (the least they could do). As we left just after 6 the delivery driver came prancing up the path with our food, only over an hour late.

Having spoken to Ifty again was promised a call back from the boss to arrange a refund. The next day the boss didn't call but Ifty did. Was told refund would be transfered back to my account but 2 days later & nothing. Rang the store again & to my suprise neither the boss or Ifty are available.

This place is beyond a joke. If only it could be awarded minus stars.

I will not rest until my money is back...