KFC — Restaurant in Arlington

My car window doesn't roll down anymore. No, that is a blatant lie. It might still roll down. Now up, it definitely won't go up anymore.

So the lady who handed me my bucket of chicken, she was so kind and considerate in the speed of her reaction. I felt absolved of the sin and shame of being subhuman filth with some toxic inner perversity worth my segregation from the good people of the world, because my car isn't as nice as theirs. She pitched the bucket over the door as i began opening it, and lowered it gently into my grasp. Some other time, maybe i will tell you all about the time i broke down weeping eating alone inside a McDonald's at 4 in the morning.

I don't think the food is that bad, or anything. At least i think in one way, from one perspective it means well. You can see the harm and the pain and the poverty every time you walk into a place like that, sure. But it's elitist and shallow to blame the food. The people who make it, most of them are really making an honest effort.

Really, it is our fault collectively as a society for not caring about each other as we do for ourselves.

But it's just chicken. It isn't bad for what it is.

I mean, unless you are a chicken alien or chicken angel or chicken ghost, and your animate spirit was injured by this earthly human perpetrated chicken genocide. People eat a lot of chickens, you know! Really quite an absurd number every year. Too many, honestly. But i can't blame a business for trying to survive. Maybe a sentient chicken could, though. They definitely might have more legal...

I have no idea why anyone likes KFC. I have had it a total of twice and I find it deeply unpleasant. For one thing unless you specifically order it extra crispy it ends up being weirdly wet. Also I tried the famous Bowl and Patton Oswalt was right, it tastes exactly like a Failure Pile in a Sadness Bowl. Although I am curious to try the Double Down if they ever bring that back again McRib Style. The only positive things I have to say is about the service and the atmosphere. First off the service was on point, the person who took my order was very nice, helpful and Patient when I was trying to figure out what I wanted, and my sub par food was ready really quickly. As for the atmosphere, I respect KFC for sticking with their branding and actually making it feel unique and fun. In an age where other fast food chains are going beige and boring with a lame outdated coffee shop aesthetic, KFC is not afraid to cover everything in red and white stripes and put Bucket iconography EVERYWHERE! I adore good theming and this makes my heart smile. Over all the Vibes are good, but I can totally see why their founder and Spokesperson was very outspoken about how they ruined his recipe (seriously look it up, they sued him for defamation and he won) and am curious to try Colonel Sanders’ original original recipe before it was...

"Ah, KFC, the undisputed masters of math and customer service! I recently ordered a 16-piece chicken meal, and imagine my delight when I discovered it only came with 8 pieces! Apparently, they’ve redefined “16” to mean “half, and that’s all you’re getting.” Bold move, KFC. Who needs consistency when you can just keep customers guessing?

But wait, there’s more! I tried to call and let them know about their revolutionary take on portion control, but apparently, answering the phone isn’t on their bucket list. Maybe their employees were too busy counting to 16 and just gave up halfway. It’s a shame; I really wanted to thank them for turning my dinner plans into a scavenger hunt for accountability.

If you’re looking for a meal that’s half the price, half the portions, and double the frustration, KFC is your go-to. Just don’t bother calling them—unless you’re fluent in the language of unanswered rings. Five stars for teaching me a lesson in lowered...