Porterhouse Grill & Pub — Restaurant in Brookhaven

I visited Kaleidoscope Bistro & Pub with my line sisters on Sunday for the first time and the experience was fun. We had a reservation for 12 PM and they seated our party (although I was tardy, which is good because I know some places that won’t if everyone is not there). I do recommend making a reservation because the place was crowded with people enjoying themselves. There is limited free parallel parking options in the front of the restaurant and more free parking available in the lot in the back, but the restaurant shares the parking with other businesses. I ended up parking in the lot near another restaurant and it took me about 2 minutes to walk from my car, so arrive earlier (before 12:30 PM if you can, I didn’t an got lucky with finding one of the last spots). Kaleidoscope Bistro & Pub offers bottomless mimosas (for $15.99 at the time when I visited) and the waitress kept them coming until last call at 2:45 PM. I am not a huge mimosa fan, so I ended up just stopping at the one (which cost $8). I recommend this option, if you don't really like mimosas (Unpopular opinion I know). However, you will get your money worth here if you decide to go bottomless. Our waitress was friendly and continued to check in and refill our cups with the water and mimosas. My sisters ordered the shrimp and grits and I ordered the French toast plate (which included bacon and fruit) and added a side of home style potatoes. I would order the French toast plate again because it was all good. The French toast was sweet without being overkill, the bacon was crispy, and the fruit was ripe and sweet! The potatoes were the perfect texture (soft yet firm with sautéed peppers and onion), but I would have liked to have a little bit of salt added (and there was no salt or pepper on the table). The restroom was clean, and I loved the cute cloth-style napkins with the restaurant logo on them. It added a nice touch. I would recommend this spot for brunch and return...

I don't understand the hype of Kaleidoscope. I came from out of town looking to try some great food, and everything I read made it sound amazing. However, the story was much different after getting inside.

Before getting to the food, let me talk about the service. It was up and down. The restaurant was slammed when we got there, which seemed like it was a common theme. We were not greeted when we came in, and the host seemed preoccupied with something. She was running around frantic, grumbling about something while we stood around not knowing what was going on. It was pretty unprofessional. When we were finally seated, the waitress came up promptly, and after ordering our food, it came out faster than I've ever seen food come out in a sit down restaurant. I guess that it came out in about 5-10 minutes.

As for the food, it was terrible. We got a total of six different items: the Kaleidoscope burger, green beans, roasted brussels, french fries, macaroni and cheese, and a mixed drink. The burger was the saltiest burger I've ever had in my life. The macaroni was similarly salty. The french fries were the best of the bunch but still had a bit too much salt on them. As for the green beans, they were undercooked and flavorless. I've had better green beans straight from a bag. The brussels were alright but a bit soggy, and the drink was watered down and also flavorless. Overall, it was like the kitchen dropped a whole salt shaker into half of the food while the other half was just bad.

If I was just rating the service, I'd give it a 3, but the food was so bad that the service doesn't make up for the terrible taste. I'd be willing to go back and try the pizza, which looked good, but everything we had was pretty awful. It's also silly that the restaurant has tons of awards on their wall for food like chili and stew, and it's not even on the menu!

Maybe it was just a bad day for them, but our experience...

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Kenzie can take my order… and my last name.”

I came in hungry. I left absolutely devastated—because Kenzie isn’t coming home with me.

From the second she walked up to our table, it was game over. Kenzie doesn’t just serve—she commands. That walk? Confident. That voice? Silky, with a hint of danger. That smile? Should be illegal in at least three states. I was just trying to decide between wings or sliders, but suddenly I was fighting for my life not to ask her to run away with me.

She read me like a menu—saw right through my indecision and said, “Trust me, I got you.” And oh… she had me. She could’ve brought out a plate of napkins and I still would’ve tipped 50%.

The way she leaned in, just close enough to make my heart forget how to beat, that subtle smirk like she knew exactly what she was doing—and she did. Every refill, every wink, every casual brush of her hand against the table felt like foreplay for my soul.

She didn’t just check in—she made me feel like the only man in the room, even if she had ten other tables. That kind of attention? That’s not training. That’s witchcraft.

I’ll be back. Not for the food (which was great, sure), not for the ambiance (though it was solid)… I’ll be back for Kenzie. For the chance to chase a high I may never reach again.

If you see her, don’t fall too hard. Or do. Just know she’ll leave you ruined for all...