Regattabar — Restaurant in Cambridge

Let me be the first to say, I'm not a hard core Jazz aficionado. It started with a friend sharing Postmodern Jukebox almost 4 years ago. While I didn't like every cover they put out, I kept watching. In September of 2016 they debuted a new cover of Rick Astley's "Never Gonna Give You Up". The featured singer was a Swedish national treasure, jazz multi-instrumentalist Gunhild Carling. I was blown away by her energy, and being able to play so any different musical Instruments, and sing to boot. Weeks later, she was featured again, covering Madonna's "Material Girl", singing, playing trombone, and tap dancing. I was hooked, and started following her and her equally talented family shortly thereafter. While most of her touring was elsewhere in the world, she did occasionally have dates in the United States. I can't travel far for a variety of reasons, so even going to New York where she performed most frequently was out. Only something close to the South Shore area was feasible. With her increased fame from her PMJ covers, as well as her weekly stream from her former residence in Stockomollan, Sweden, she began to perform more frequently in the US. In the summer of 2018 she announced a variety of tour dates for the middle of November. One of those dates was the 14th, at Regattabar in Cambridge, located in the Charles Hotel. I ordered a ticket a couple months in advance, the pricing wasn't bad. Other than evening commuter traffic going into and out of Boston, it wasn't hard to get to. It took about an hour to get there from the South Shore. If you plan on coming here, use Google Maps to get directions and input the time you plan on leaving, that way you will get an accurate gauge of how long it will take to get here. Parking was very easy, it was in the hotel's own parking garage, Regattabar will validate your ticket for a buck or two off. For parking, drive all the way around the garage until you find the elevators, there seemed to be ample spaces right around there. I arrived early, doors actually opened 1/4 of 7 for the 7:30 showtime. Seating is randomly assigned, I guess according to when you bought your ticket, so I had a good seat in the front row to the left of the stage. It's a big room, seating take up about a 1/3 of it around the stage area, behind it is an open floor for dancing. The waiter greeted me almost right away, and I ordered a drink. I will say the drink seemed to have like a lead or graphite taste to it, but was passable. The show started right on time, Ms. Carling was backed up by New York based musicians Dave Post on bass, Matt Baker on piano, and Daniel Glass on drums. Let me tell you, if you have never seen Gunhild perform in person, go do it already. She is an amazing, friendly performer. I knew she would be better to see in person, but I was totally blown away. She did an hour and a half set that night. Overall, this was my first time at a jazz club, and it was a positive experience. The size of the room is great, with windows to look outside over-viewing Bennett St. The acoustics of the room were fantastic, the volume of the mics wasn't too loud, it wasn't too hot or too cold either. The lighting in the room set the mood well. Other than the drink issue, the chairs at the tables were a tad uncomfortable. Not much cushioning, and too upright for me. Other than that, a very enjoyable experience. 7/4/2019 EDIT: I went to Regattabar on 6/20 to see Gunhild Carling perform again, simply amazing. Other than that, I did order a drink again, this time it didn't taste funny. The chairs are the same uncomfortable ones from last time. Even still, I had a front row seat, the earlier you buy a ticket, the better the seat you get. 11/23/2022 EDIT: I'm not sure what's going on, but Regattabar closed 3/2020 as a result of the pandemic, but where the majority of venues have already reopened, this venue strangely has not. The website simply displays "Regattabar is temporarily closed due to Covid-19 until further notice.". I would hope they eventually reopen, but over 2 years later it does...

In my experience as a jazz frequenter across several cities for years now and also as a musician who's played in bars and other venues in some of them, Regattabar is an excellent venue to patronize if you're looking to be treated like a sick cow about to pass on, complete with the humiliating looks of pity and contempt from your handlers, the so-called servers of the establishment, as they break the news to you that while you paid the same as everybody else to see the show, they have arbitrarily assigned you a seat with prime views of a massive pillar blocking 67% of the stage. Once you find out you've been punked, they don't do nothing to help you have a better time. After paying $35 to be herded to my seat with barely a view while my friends were put behind the pillar, I came to find out upon asking for a glass of water that I had to give them even more money because there's also a drink minimum.

Apparently, this seat assignment policy, which seats patrons based on the dates of ticket purchase, is explained on the ticket purchase webpage, conveniently at the bottom of the site way under the Checkout button––you know, in case you didn't expect that the purportedly well-reputed venue would have any sketchy practices to hide. My friends and I bought tickets one after another, only to find out upon arrival that we had been assigned seats far away from each other, with my friend getting the notorious pillar seat. When we asked if we could be seated together (we arrived as a group of four), the server dismissively told us No, while just a few minutes later a group near me was allowed to relocate to be with their friends.

Here's the bottom line: if you're going to operate a music venue, you cannot sell general admission tickets that have such drastic differences in quality, as customers are expecting a similar and fair quality of seating within a given price bracket. Failure to make customers aware of such uneven quality distribution until they have been forced to sit behind a giant pillar is a deeply misleading and unethical practice.

If you're unlucky enough to pay $35 for general admission plus a drink minimum expecting to be able to sit with your friends and to see the performers, the tables they seat you at are uncomfortably tiny so as to fit as many people as possible: they place their own sound engineer behind the same pillar that blocks two-thirds of the stage. If you weren't expecting a view or to experience the music with friends, and you just wanted to listen to live music emanating out of a pillar to the effect that listening to music at home would be no different, then rest assured in knowing that the sound system is awful, probably because they put their sound guy behind a pillar, at least when I went.

Regattabar is not a place that respects you. If you want to enjoy music alone or with friends, go to a pub, a dive bar, a park, a brewery, or a cafe instead. Stand in front of the stage close enough to look up the performer's nostril without being told that you can't stand there because some guy on his phone the whole show bought a ticket one day before you. Have a fun night elsewhere––literally anywhere else––my friend, and save yourself the cost, confusion, disrespect, deception, discomfort, elitism, and favoritism of going to Regattabar. Hell, just stay home and watch old jazz videos on YouTube––your TV probably sounds better than their sound system and there's no pillar blocking your couch and your TV. Two stars instead of one because they do have great talent and at least I didn't get hate-crimed or accosted....

Want to have a low tier cocktail while you see a music act you like in a hotel conference room? Have I got the venue for you!

As best as I can tell Regatta bar operates exactly the same way as when it first opened in 1985. From the vintage track lighting they use as spotlights, to the aging sound system, to the actively hostile to patrons setup with no ordering at the bar and only a single waitress, bartender and runner.

My friend and I biked to our show and arrived early figuring we could sit and chat before the show. It was unseasonably warm and we both needed some water but It took more than half an hour before the only waitress made it to our table, despite only about a dozen seated tables. Great, we ordered, and I could see that the bartender didn't have any orders to work on so I assumed our drinks would be fast, but no, it's Regatta bar, and the waitress wanted to take a half dozen more orders (on paper) before walking over to the POS to enter them and only after that could the bartender start working on them, at least ours was first.

I asked for Ice Water with lemon and was told they only have small and large sizes, and I was like "no, tap water, you know from fresh pond" "no we only have bottles." Okay fine, I'll pay you $10 for a 1L of Acqua Panna which came out with a tiny wine glass with a lemon slice in it and no ice. The bottle was well chilled but I shouldn't need to wait 45 minutes before getting water.

My friend and I both ordered Manhattans, his up, mine on the rocks. Friends they came in the same martini glasses mine just had ice in it! My friend looked at me and said "I'm sorry for your drink." All and all it wasn't a terrible drink, no hint of bitters, and only an orange peel for a garnish but at $12 it wasn't priced such to make me angry.

Normally I'd have been upset that the waitress never came to see if we wanted a second drink, but honestly it was better that I didn't get one and buying the 1L of water was a blessing as well since I would have quickly finished my tiny wine glass of tap water and been much angrier about my inability to get more water than I was about paying for imported Italian water.

When faced with no other options to see an act you like you'll someday end up at Regatta bar too, my advice is not to drive (you do get $2 off the $33 it'll cost you to park at the hotel), order your alcohol plain and neat, and if you bike buy a bottle of water and bring it to your seat to drink while you wait...