Clyde's Fine Diner — Restaurant in Des Moines

Clyde's Fine Diner tries its hardest to mash together two competing aesthetics and by doing so fails to nail either. When thinking of a diner, what comes to ones mind would be coziness, warmth, a retro greasy spoon that is always consistent in quality with their offerings. A diner should be a place where you know the chef and the chef knows you, where your usual order is memorized by your favorite waiter/waitress, a place where the food is unpretentious and the prices don't match those of restaurants that are meant to be an experience and not a place to get a local bite. This is unfortunately not the case with Clyde's as they lean hard into the "Fine" portion of their brand with their naming of dishes and pricing. The openness of the location does not lend itself well to the diner aesthetic and would better suite true luxury dining.

As mentioned above, I will expand upon the naming of dishes and what is unpleasant about the the way this is done in many metropolitan areas, especially in Downtown DSM: a restaurant does not need to be creative, cute, or novel to make good food, therefore the names of the food should not be either. Focus on making the best food possible and minimize as much of this nonsense as one can, that will bring people back, what won't is giving fried chicken a yuppy name like "Hot Bird". Furthermore, listing the companies behind the ingredients used on the menu comes off as pompous, especially when it is mentioned with something as commonplace as chicken or grits. Too many of the restaurants in Downtown DSM try to be "quirky" and "weird", it seems that the idea of the metro area has shifted so that every location east of the Des Moines river has to be a miniature version of Portland, Oregon. By trying to be "unique" many of DSM's restaurants filter themselves into the exact same soulless category where they all look and sound the same, carbon copies upon carbon copies of "new" and "hip" joints.

Now we get to the food. The food was the savior of this restaurant, had it not been for how good it was, I would have written this location off. I ordered the Tuna Melt and was greatly surprised by just how delicious it was for an open faced sandwich. The tuna salad was excellent and perfectly balanced in terms of ingredients, the gruyere cheese was perfectly melted and paired incredibly well with the fish as well as the fantastically toasted bread underneath it all. The pepper relish on top cut through the fat in the dish with a bite as the vinegar lifted up the other flavors present. The one thing that seemed out of place was the greens placed on top as there were a very small amount of them and they did almost nothing for the dish overall, however, they did not hinder the dish which is positive. With fries, this open-faced sandwich cost $18, which for many that should mean this meal better be damn good; thankfully it was.

If I was to review the food alone as well as the service this would likely be around a 4/5, my dish was quite good and the service was great but there were shortcomings in the dishes of others I was with and given the offerings the prices were too high. Much of the detrimental portions of the experience come from all my critiques above, therefore this restaurant deserves 3/5. Much goes into the success of a restaurant and this one will no doubt be monetarily successful, but it will not truly be unique as it so desperately...

Before coming here I had heard great things from a friend so I had relatively high expectations and it didn't disappoint.

It's a lovely building, the interior design is fancy yet unimposing. A nice upscale, modern diner with a well thought out bar. I really liked it.

For us, it was a quiet evening so service was prompt. The waitress was helpful and talkative but didn't bother us too much other than to ask how we were doing and if we needed any refills.

The menu is small which I appreciated and everything is well priced for the area. It seemed well put together and everything sounded delicious. I found it difficult to pick.

In the end I chose to go for a diner classic. A smash burger and fries and both were just excellent, no complaints. It was very well portioned but I swear it was gone in the blink of an eye, I enjoyed it that much.

The fries are were delicious too. Ours were deep fried and served with ketchup and a very tasty malt vinegar mayonnaise which I adored. (A rare thing for me, I'm usually very indifferent towards mayo). My only ask as far as the food goes is that it would be nice to offer people malt vinegar at the table! Love to have it on fries.

As for the rest of the experience it was generally good. I had a few nit-pics. Another family entered shortly after us and were sat besides us despite there being many other available spaces. This made things feel more cramped than they had to be. I like having more space to eat if possible.

Additionally, I wasn't a fan of the credit card fees (3 to 3.5% respectively depending on card issues). I understand why they exist and it's nice they offer debit and cash paying customers a small discount but I would prefer to see it factored into the food price more broadly, nobody likes seeing extra fees tacked on at the end, it's bad enough with tips and taxes.

There was also a mix up with our bills in the end, the waitress corrected it quickly so it's not a problem but she forgot to apply our happy hour discount on our sides and I can see others not noticing which isn't good.

Lastly, I'd love to see Coke Zero or Pepsi Zero Sugar products on the menu and calories for each menu item listed. It's a small thing but I really do appreciate it as it makes nutritional tracking much easier.

Overall a great experience. I'll...

The chairs were so uncomfortable that I've had a bad back ever since. The one thing that truly appealed to me from the online menu had been discontinued. We paid $8 for a tiny glass of some foul-tasting elderflower lemonade stuff. The fries were those disgusting dark brown burned type fries and were inedible. As for the burger, a double patty "smash" type burger, the sauce was revolting and overwhelmed the taste of the meat, which literally tasted of nothing at all, you couldn't even taste the onions. We should have gone to Zombie Burger across the street, or for real "fine dining" Hoq around the corner. Des Moines has some of the worst restaurants I have ever seen anywhere in the world, but even among those this was a stand-out for sheer awfulness. The staff are very nice and did their best, but the discomfort, disappointing menu and terrible food rendered the whole experience un-salvageable. Fine dining? I have eaten better at gas stations. FAR better. Eat here if you hate yourself.... Addendum; further to the business owner's response below, they did NOT comp our meal, that's a lie. And yes, I normally have better things to do with my time than review eateries that are just adequate, but when they are as bad as this it is practically a civic duty. Don't be all butt-hurt, you have plenty of people on here they clearly love your dismal and overpriced restaurant, you're business is in no danger from a few bad reviews. But lying about comping our meal is cheaper than your cheap plastic chairs.... FURTHER addendum... It wasn't us you comped, in fact we left a $10 tip because the staff were very good. We left quietly without complaining and by the time we got home I was so enraged that I left the initial review here. So if you did comp someone, it must have been someone else that didn't appreciate your lousy food. Most people wouldn't cause a fuss, they'd just do what we did, pay and leave and then recommend to anyone who'll listen not to eat there. I am now done with insulting your reprehensible restaurant, this has gone on far too seriously long enough by half. I am one of the tiny persecuted minority of people who tried your restaurant and thought it was garbage. I won't be back again. I have moved on to greater, more...