Clubhouse on Main — Restaurant in Glastonbury

We will most definitely never go back here. The main reason is how they abuse big parties, but I'll go into everything piece by piece.

WARNING TO BIG PARTIES.

If you are unlucky enough to have 6 people instead of 5, they tack on 18% gratuity on Ax throwing and the sim games, It's an absolute rip off to pay an extra 18% to play games that you set up, and you control. There are other places where you can throw axes and use simulators that don't rely on gratuity as a way to make up for their poor management. There is no reason to tack on 18% for fixed-price, non-service items, unless you're not capable of surviving on food and drink.

WARNING ABOUT THE SIMULATORS

They are kind of fun, but I equate them to cheap virtual reality experiences, rather than simulators. They clearly don't calibrate them. At the golf simulators at my driving range, I usually average 250-yard drives. Here.... 125.. 130. The baseballs go just barely out of the infield in the home run derby. Throwing a football, they go about 10-20 yards and are extremely inaccurate. The simulator crashed twice on us mid-game, and going from game to game was slow. This may have been the one we just happened to be on, I don't know. But I'm not going back to find out.

Axe throwing: Axe throwing was fun, but even that had problems. The batteries to control the virtual part of the game were almost dead, which took the 1st 10 minutes to figure out. Alone this would not be a big deal, but along with the ridiculous 18% gratuity added for the games, and the poorly calibrated simulators, it just highlights the poor management at this place.

Food and drinks: The food was pretty good and the drinks were decent. However, they found yet another way to rip us off. We started a tab at the bar, and when we moved to a table, we paid that tab to start fresh with the server. When we paid the tab, we generously tipped the bartender assuming they zeroed the tab out and started over. When we reviewed the tab at home, we realized that they left everything on there, added 18% gratuity to the entire tab, then credited us what we paid for the bar tab. This is the most convoluted way to close out a tab when changing servers i have ever heard of, and means we actually tipped 40% on the initial bar tab. When we were told they were transferring us to the server and we should cash out, they never bothered to mention that they keep everything on the tab until after they add the 18% gratuity.

To sum up tipping: Our bar tab was $56.89, axe throwing was $140, Sim games $130, and the total was $427.50. If you take the total and remove the axe throwing, sim games, and bar tab we already tipped over 20% on, the total should have been $100.61, which should have been an $18 tip.... which we would certainly have added cash to supplement. Instead, they got us for $76.95 + the bar tip.

Full disclosure, it was 100% our fault that we did not thoroughly go through the receipt before we left, so the fact that they can't really remedy us is our fault. They do apparently have fine print stating 18% gratuity is added for "food, drink, and activities, but i don't really care about that. Let me be clear..... IT IS SHADY AS HELL TO ADD 18% TO THE COST OF GAMES YOU SET UP. AND YOU CONTROL YOURSELF, and if that's how they want to do it, they should notify people when they call and make a reservation.

I was surprised that it was slow for a Sunday late afternoon, but is suspect we...

Let me set the scene: Clubhouse on Main is a bar-slash-sports-simulator haven that promises a night of fun and games, but what I experienced was something straight out of a fever dream—or maybe a Netflix limited series.

The night started innocently enough. I was feeling festive and ready to let loose, so I grabbed a couple of drinks at the bar—classic whiskey sour to start, then something they called the “Green Monster.” Delicious, but deceptively strong. With liquid courage flowing, I wandered toward their state-of-the-art golf simulator. “Why not?” I thought. Golf skills: questionable. Coordination after a few drinks: nonexistent. But I was there to have fun.

The first three holes were normal enough. Hit the ball, laugh at my slice, drink more. But around the fourth hole, things started to get... weird. A virtual cart girl appeared on the screen, just like in real golf, which I thought was a fun detail. Then she spoke. Not through the simulator speakers—she was suddenly standing beside me in the bar, tray of drinks in hand. I don’t know if it was the Green Monster or some next-gen AI, but I rolled with it and grabbed a cocktail she called the "Thriller-tini."

Big mistake.

By the fifth hole, the golf simulator wasn’t simulating anymore. I wasn’t in the Clubhouse on Main; I was standing on an actual golf course, surrounded by lush green fairways that seemed eerily familiar. Before I could process what was happening, a high-pitched “hee-hee!” echoed through the air. Suddenly, the cart girl morphed into Michael Jackson, in all his sparkly-gloved glory.

What happened next defies explanation. The course transformed into Neverland Ranch’s mini-golf setup—complete with neon windmills, animatronic animals, and a Ferris wheel in the background. Michael handed me a glittery putter and insisted we play a round of mini-golf. I won’t lie; the man had skills. By the 8th hole, he was moonwalking between shots, and I swear the golf balls started lighting up like Billie Jean’s sidewalk.

Then came the moment that could’ve turned sketchy. Michael leaned in, eyes wide, and said, “Come with me to my bed.” Now, I know what you’re thinking, but I promise you this: all we did was cuddle and nothing more. He wrapped me in a sequined blanket, hummed Human Nature, and asked deep questions about my life goals. It was... oddly wholesome.

When I finally snapped back to reality, I was lying on the bar’s sofa with my golf club in one hand and an empty Thriller-tini glass in the other. My friends were cracking up, saying I’d been flailing around the simulator and yelling, “Hole in one, MJ!”

Would I go back to Clubhouse on Main? Absolutely. I don’t know what kind of magic—or possibly illegal substances—they’re mixing into those cocktails, but it’s a place where anything feels possible. Next time, though, I’m skipping the...

Management, please read. I want to start with some positives. I booked a reservation in person, a couple weeks prior to our two hours of virtual gaming on Fri. 12/15/23, and the staff at the desk was very friendly and knowledgeable in getting me scheduled. I saw the same servers when I checked in on the day, and the service was just as friendly. We went to the bar first for drinks, met our friends and headed for the gaming. There is a good variety of games you can select on screen with many golf clubs and balls around for your chosen game. The staff member was quite friendly as well helping us get set up. There are however some negatives I want to point out. When I went to close out my tab at the bar, I told the bartender “I’d like to close out my tab.” But she then asked me if I had my credit card with them. I don’t remember being at any bar where they didn’t take your card when you opened a tab. The food is average for most bars/restaurants that have a main entertainment focus rather than the cuisine itself. The food was cooked right and was just what I expected, nothing fancy, nothing that wasn’t tasty. The three of us then ordered fries later in the night, and it came in a tiny metal basket with just a handful or so of fries! At that time of the night most people, after imbibing on beer/cocktails need a significant portion of food. I highly recommend they bump up the portion. Raise the price if needed but up the portion. The virtual gaming area was very spacious and you felt very VIP when playing and ordering with the server that was on hand. However, the comfy sofa that is behind the playing area (of course) but in front of the narrow table where you can put your food and drinks is way to close to each other, in the fact that when you are sitting and talking on the sofa, the back of your head sometimes hits against the edge of the table! Ouch! So we did push up the couch, but I highly recommend the management move up the sofas or change the tables immediately to avoid patrons getting injured! And lastly, when I was checking in, two ladies walked out and one of them said “walk away; the service is horrible!” Ouch! I want to give all new establishments the benefit of the doubt but this place still needs to check and adjust some significant items. I will go back at least once here to see if there are any improvements but I don’t think I will be coming back here too often. Thanks...