Trail Life Brewing — Restaurant in Grand Junction

Lots of potential here. **The location itself: Right on Main Street in the downtown area. The face of building has a front window that can be opened up for an open-air dining experience. Inside, check out the attached gear shop separated by a clear divider, the beautifully done epoxy floors and topographical bar top.

**Drinks: Selection was good, but a little pricey. Some beers were around the $7-8 range. The sweet-mint flavor in mojito “sloshy” was a bit sickly, but the berry one was very refreshing! We wished the passionfruit flavor was alcoholic, but appreciated the fact that there were non-alcoholic options for everybody.

**Food: As a vegetarian, I was thrilled to see how many non-meat options there were on this menu. It had to have been the most inclusive menu I’ve seen so far in GJ. I ordered the fried pickles and vegetarian Gyro. Others at the table got the poutine and giant pretzels.

My group joked about all restaurants over-promising on their “shareable” sizes for appetizers and the fried pickles were no exception. Call me selfish but I would hardly consider a quartered pickle something “shareable” for groups larger than two. Maybe dill chips would be a better option here? Still, we saw this coming so we ordered multiple pickles for everyone, and they were fantastically made.

The Gyro was underwhelming. The jackfruit was good but on the spicy side, which I would appreciate in other uses but found distracting when expecting that aromatic peppery flavor of a gyro. Some meat dishes just can’t be replicated and need to be left in your meat-eating past. Sigh. Overall it felt more like a vague Jackfruit sandwich than a gyro. I chose a salad as my side and had no qualms there. As a self-proclaimed food-vacuum who went into this on an empty stomach, it was more than enough food and I was unable to finish it all myself.

The pretzels were fresh and perfectly salty. They were served with two dips, a cheese and a Dijon mustard concoction. The cheese had a chalky “fake” texture and the Dijon had so much horseradish it made your eyes water. That didn’t stop our group from destroying the pretzel, sans-dip.

**Service: The staff were nice and friendly and quick. When we were in line to order it moved fast. Empty glasses were cleared from our tables regularly. When I got my gyro I mistakenly thought it had meat on it and brought it up to the server, who apologized and returned with a chef from the kitchen, who kindly told me that what I thought was meat was jackfruit then explained the rest of the dish to our table. She was nice and knowledgeable and I appreciated the extra step! In defense of my vegetarian cred, the gyro’s menu description had no mention of jackfruit but a “marinated Bratton tofu”. (There were also strips of tofu included in the gyro).

Given the location, the atmosphere, and the menu, I really hope to see Trail Life take off and become a GJ staple. Not only can it be a chill bar to hang out after work with some drinks and friends, but it has high potential as a place to bring out-of-towners to give them a taste of what non-Coloradans expect from the state, as well as showcasing Grand Junction’s downtown...

I’ll start with the good. The Mountaineer IPA is a solid take on a classic IPA, nothing special but nothing wrong with it either.

Now…the rest of the place…food, awful. Service, bad. Ambiance, awful. Let me think if there’s anything else? Oh yes, noise level, bad.

It started when I sat at the bar and watched a tense conversation between the three bartenders that lasted a few minutes while a full bar of people looked on. They eventually broke the huddle and proceeded to acknowledge people. It was about 30 minutes later that I saw one of them crack a smile. Whatever they were talking about it was apparently very distressing, perhaps it was the Broncos? Maybe the Rockies?

I ordered a beer and a burger. The beer arrived in short order. The burger a bit longer…like 30 minutes longer. Maybe it’s a strategy to get people to order more beer? Anyway, the burger wait allowed me to so some people watching where I confirmed that the bartenders, all three of them, were in a foul mood. Oh, and did I mention the ambiance?

The place is a long narrow room with an overlarge bar blocking the front and compressing everyone. Lights from the adjoining retail shop cast harsh shadows and make you feel like someone might interrogate you shortly. The bar itself is a beautiful piece of resin covered topographic sculpture but it’s too wide and there is additional bar equipment on the inside so the bartenders can’t reach across the bar. In this case the distance felt good because they were putting off enough negative energy to power a Marvel villain. The noise was cacophonous with high ceilings and echoes everywhere. It took the normal jovial noises of patrons and amplified everything until it hurt the ears.

The burger finally arrives on a pretentious but sad little hipster metal tray. The advertised “two patties” burger is surprisingly small (no real problem there for me but others might be disappointed…just wait until they taste it). I’m not a food critic nor a cook so I’ll do my best to describe this burger…maybe a comparison is in order. Better than a Burger King burger, worse than a McDonald’s burger. I know because I ate at McD’s the day before and enjoyed those burgers more. The patties were overcooked and too salty. The flavor was left to the condiments with an aioli, because I did mention hipsters, right? The bun is whatever bread, keeps your hands from getting aioli on them but otherwise not much use. The fries didn’t suck but again too salty. My takeaway was that I can make a better burger drunk and high with leftover meat and scraps from the fridge.

Oh, and the real kicker is this place is a “self serve” hipster joint where you have to go get your own napkins from the back of the restaurant, and your own ketchup for the fries…

I’m trying to end on a positive note so I’ll say that there is a good coffee place, Kiln Coffee...

Do not come here if you are gluten free. Their menu is incredible unclear and they are not allergen friendly nor does the staff seem informed about allergens. Despite having a conversation while ordering about celiac/gluten allergen (in which I appreciated that she said the fries were coated in flour and offered a side salad) we then ordered corn ribs which were also coated in flour. When my husband went back in to ask after I had taken a bite he was told it was coated in flour. I do not believe the bun was gluten free despite being told it was while ordering. According to other reviews the bread is sourdough which is not actually gluten free (despite that same bakery claiming their products are gluten free). Those who are gf know to be suspicious when a bun does not fall apart, springs back up, and holds its shape. If this is not the case I’m happy to make a correction to this review. The menu was not clear and the person who took our order was clearly not informed on allergy awareness or ingredients. We would have gone somewhere else had the information been clear or if we had been clearly informed by the staff and I hope management takes steps to rectify this and give customers accurate information. If that’s the case I’m happy to edit this. The others in my party enjoyed their food especially the chicken katsu and I...