Kava Me Krazy — Restaurant in Jensen Beach

I'll foreword this by saying it tears my heart to leave this review. But in hindsight of the events the other night, it felt less like I walked into a business and more like I walked into an uppity henhouse with a political pecking order. I now feel the need to listen to three hours of Al Bundy-isms just to get the taste of this place out of my mouth.

I want to be clear: I believe Joe, the co-owner, is a very sweet, kind man. Unfortunately, I cannot say the same for his wife, Robin. And if my character hadn’t been maligned in such a way, I wouldn’t even be writing this. But Robin openly expressed a willingness to malign me to other kava bars, so I'll speak plainly.

It started when I gave unsolicited poker advice — delivered as shtick, but genuinely trying to help. I wasn’t aware it irritated the table until another patron (not staff) suggested I leave. Robin later threatened to kick me out, and from that point forward I was on my best behavior. I gave advice afterward only to one woman, who was grateful, used it, and won chips. If others had her attitude, this would be a much healthier place, but it's a thin-skinned lot.

I lost the first game and rejoined the second after buying another drink. I said nothing about players flashing their cards, table talk, or poor dealing. I played quietly and respectfully — and then I won. That’s when the mood shifted.

Joe took me aside privately, respectfully, to hear my side. But Robin made a loud scene over me “talking smack” about her shuffling — even though I had only made a helpful comment about the casino shuffle to preserve card quality. Joe gently nudged the topic (as a former pro dealer), and Robin immediately snapped: “ARE YOU REALLY GOING AGAINST YOUR WIFE RIGHT NOW?” And then again: “HAPPY WIFE, HAPPY LIFE.” So, straight to loud and proud emotional blackmail of her spouse in full public view...

I apologized, but was told I was banned from poker “for a time.” I said OK. I mentioned I’d just play at the next location where the girl who spite-played me would presumably be. Robin escalated that to a lifetime ban and accused me of stalking — a ridiculous and legally indefensible accusation. Playing in a public tournament where someone else shows up is not stalking. If that’s the standard, every Olympic rivalry would be criminal, and ditto every Smash Bros grudge match. Contests are adversarial by nature. If you don't like it, don't compete (or don't openly spite play and sabotage other players).

Question: if I was on good behavior halfway through the first game and all through the second, why was I only banned after I won? Simple: because I won. When she thought she'd get another laugh at my expense if I lost, Robin was fine with me playing. But when I won, I was banned. That is the culture Robin represents— sore loser culture. And nothing she says can rewrite that sequence of events.

As I was being told to leave, I remembered I had just won a $25 bar tab. I asked politely about it, and Robin got indignant. I asked for some protein balls — something I had been allowed to use my tab on before — and was told the tab only applied to drinks. When I explained I had redeemed packaged goods here and elsewhere previously, her first response was to demand to know what other bar let me do that. It seemed likely her goal was to get me banned elsewhere. I declined to name the other bar. She said whoever let me do it at her place “wasn’t supposed to.” Seemed like convenient timing.

I was told to use the tab right then, even though I normally would’ve had two weeks. I’d already had $20 worth of kratom, so that wasn’t happening. I just left. I apologized to Joe on my way out — which apparently made Robin even more upset. She tried to bring someone else into the argument for support prior. That’s when I knew engaging further was pointless. Argumentum ad Populum is an empty game.

I wouldn’t recommend this place to anyone looking for a healthy social...

I've been coming to Kava Me Krazy for several months since moving to the Stuart area, and it quickly became one of my favorite spots. As someone who was a regular at franchise kava bars before relocating, I immediately noticed the personal touch that comes from KMK being owned by an independent couple, Joe and Robin. They go out of their way to make sure I feel welcome and enjoy my time here.

During the day, I love to come here and work on things or just read a book - maybe crochet sometimes. It's definitely comfy enough to do so.

If you're looking for a bit of fun, KMK's nights also have you covered with events almost every day of the week, like bingo, poker, and trivia. Saturday bingo nights are a personal favorite of mine - what sets them apart is the fun prize wheel you get to spin when you win. I've been to many kava bars, and none make winning as exciting as KMK does. Poker is always a good time and pretty laid back - great for new learners or people who just wanna have fun.

I've tried other kava bars in the area, but I keep coming back to KMK. The atmosphere, people, and events are great, but their product really seals the deal. Their teas are the best in the Stuart/Jensen area. You can tell they take care in brewing - strong and flavorful, with just the right bitterness typical of good tea, but still easy to enjoy. And you can flavor them of course - lavender with lemon is my go to for anyone needing a recommendation.

Also shoutout to their amazing team of...

Best kava bar on the Treasure Coast! Absolutely beautiful, bright, happy atmosphere. The owners, Robin and Joe, are so kind, warm, and welcoming. The kava is the smoothest I’ve ever had. Love the effects. The botanical tea is delicious!! They add a little hint of yummy goodness to it, in their homemade recipe, that I don’t even add or need any flavor! The events are always a great time (Bingo, Trivia, Karaoke, Flow etc) and the energy and vibes are the kind that you’d expect out of a proper kava bar. Check out their IG page for event updates and come join us!! Thank you Robin and Joe for creating this safe, fun space!!! Bula!!!

PS: super dog friendly! (As long as your dog’s...