Lechonera La Piraña — Restaurant in New York

My friend and I came in from Manhattan to visit Angel's Puerto Rican food truck in the South Bronx.

Suffice to say that going to Lechonera La Piraña is not like a typical Manhattan Halal cart, it's more of an "immersive" experience because he welcomes you into his food truck, both literally (you climb up a rickety black metal staircase to enter into the truck) and figuratively (he treats his customers like family).

He clearly has a bit of a following, because even on a cold winter day he had a small line of people... but luckily we didn't have to wait long before we were welcomed inside. I was a bit intimated as I didn't know the ordering protocol but Angel put me at ease, behind the counter, expertly cutting up pork with a large machete...

He quickly offered us a sample of the pork and also a little plastic cups of his split pea soup which was delicious. Maybe we looked like out-of-towners because he asked us how we heard about him and we told him about the Vice article and he said that people come from all over to try his lechón.

He delivered heaping piles of food to us in take-out containers. Angel himself, as well as other people leaned in to take photos of our food 'cuz it looked so tasty and the other guests said they had already eaten their food and wanted photos.

Note that Portion sizes were EXTREMELY large. There was a tasty garlic sauce and also hot sauces available. One was a home-made Puerto Rican hot sauce in an orange juice container that was very tasty.

My friend ordered shrimp sauce over rice + pork on the side. I ordered just the pork. I asked for salad but he didn't have any so I got only pork. He did not have soda.

We paid $27.00 for everything. Would go back again...

This place had the most amazing food I've had in a long time.

I got there early but a line had already formed, which is to be expected considering the quality of the food as well as the showmanship of the preparation with a machete. I was very glad I got there early so I could enjoy the show while I waited for it to be my turn.

The owner and his regulars made me feel very welcome even though I'm maybe the most milquetoast can't speak anything other than English lady. It was hard to understand when the first of the roasted pigs was gone if there would be another (there was!), and he seemed to sense I had no idea if I should leave or stay so he reassured me I would get some food.

I advise people who come bring something to read or something cool to drink while you wait because it can take awhile but it's worth the wait! Come early also because sometimes people have large orders, and the beat cops who tap on the windows get served earlier in the queue than civilians who wait, so it can feel like a long time.

I can't be sure but I think if you have a concealed beer or something while waiting it seems like nobody will say anything. Plenty of regulars left to bring in beer for their friends at the front of the line who were in the trailers. But definitely a lot of police officers eat here or stop for a bite so best to be discreet if you imbibe. The point is the wait is long and because of the kitchen in the trailer it's hot near the front of the line even in the winter so come prepared for that and you...

Influencers 1 – My palate 0

Soooo.. social media.. social media (IG) & the "influencer" get an A+ in the content they created for this business. Oscars to everyone. I so wish I could say it lived up to the hype.

For some background. I am Puerto Rican and proud. I always try to support any small business owned and operated by a fellow Bori because together salimos pa 'lante..  Perooo... este lugar, this place... y el "chef".... Mira no.. no y no...

Service: The "chef" was more than half in the bag and high AF, but whatever, no judgment here he was living HIS best life.

Howeverrrrrr, he had a long line (that I can only imagine were suckered in like we were, thank you IG) and he'd frequently stop "service" to take selfies, smoke his blunt, pound his beer, chismear while we patrons wilted in the humidity. Now, if the food was as moist and finger lickin good as portrayed in the Reels, I'd proudly and gladly wilt away.

Food: The pernil, ay bendito, sooooooo so so incredibly, unbelievably dry. They should have EMTs on standby for the medical assist ya might need for the choking hazard potential. So, note to yourself, buy a drink, bring a drink or an IV drip. Eso no era pernil, eso era jerky con un complejo

The garlic mojo that he adds to the dry pernil was a straight garlic bath.  If chewing on raw garlic is your jam, you'll love it,  if not avoid at all costs.

Lesson of the day: Real food = plot twist. Social media = b.s.

I hope the chef had a bad day. If not, IG, ya got us, nos cogiste de...