Olar Noso — Restaurant in Northvale

O Lar’s maitre d’ gestured us to follow him in. At first, I didn’t understand where he was taking us because people at the last table were sitting against the wall. No way there was room for a table. Maybe something behind that wall? There was another table! Amazing! To let me to my seat, the servers had to move the chair and the table out, I had to inhale and get on my toes not to crush the food on the next table. People at that table had to lean away and raise arms to protect food from being swiped on the floor.

To get a customer out of the seat for a bathroom trip, the servers had to move chairs and table out, then move them back in — to unblock the bathroom entrance. Once a customer was out of the bathroom, these steps had to be repeated in reverse. The procedure, although smooth, involved all diners at all tables adjacent to the one where nature called.

As we sat, my elbow was brushing the elbow of a woman sitting at the table next to me and bumping it every once in a while when I was directing food into my mouth. Tables were set so close that our food seemed to be served from under their faces.

The food presentation at O Lar was impressive with an effort to create a rustic look — slates and buckets.

We started with ceviche which arrived in a modest glass bowl settled in a bucket twice the size of the bowl filled with ice. We are used to ceviches from downtown Paterson’s Peruvian citadel: ample amount of fish without any distractions other than acidic lime juice and a piece of starch to make sure this juice doesn’t go into waste. At O Lar, ceviche looked pretty with mango-avocado-red pepper coloring but only a few bites of fish on a tougher side and nothing to pick up the juice with besides a serving spoon. Sending this juice back is like ordering a soup, forking out the solids, and sending the broth away.

Our next pick was supposed to be grilled octopus — I can never go around it when it’s on a menu. But our neighbors beat us to it. Once we saw what arrived to their table, we decided not to bother. When it comes to grilled octopus, we were definitely spoiled eating out in Astoria. On O Lar’s platter, there were four or five white slices and you could feel the effort of the knife when our neighbors dug into it. We opted for grilled lamb. Although accompanied by a stylishly smoldering branch of rosemary, lamb was plain overdone. Like Outback Steakhouse overdone. And tzatsiki that came with it was watery — not creamy, not acidic, not herby. Bland.

The last try was an order of mussels from the list of specials which description ended with the word Incredible! The mussels were gigantic and the sauce was great. However, chickpeas — and I love chickpeas! — turned it into a heavy meal and took mussels away, disguising them and somehow making everything heavy. And, again, nothing to soap up the juice with besides a serving spoon. But with mussels there is a way — my shell is my spoon. And those shells were huge!

We also ordered Spanish fries which turned out to be potato chips. They were excellent and not salty at all.

The service at O Lar, was mildly aggressive with that we’re-cooler-than-you vibe. It was not exactly that you had to hold on to your dish as the waiter was pulling it off the table. But the moment the last bite was gone, the dish was whisked from under your nose and the table was being wiped. It felt like someone was standing behind watching us eat.

The check arrived. Oops! Cash only. Never mind tax was written into the bill. Whatever. The moment that cash hit the table — we were still finishing our drinks — the waiter swept it off the table with what looked like a wiping cloth to speed things up and the maitre d’ posted two customers right next to our table indicating: you stuffed yourselves and are still sitting around when these folks are hungry and standing. Some mild brawl was stirring up by the entrance as it seemed like the seating procedure was not completely fair and people on line were getting upset.

Great place to try. To come back? Umm... There’s so much out there if...

I had the worst dining experience of my life here a while back.

I am convinced that the owner of this place should be a psychiatric patient. My wife and I went there to eat one evening a while back and I told the waiter, as I do at all restaurants, that I am on medications to control my rheumatoid arthritis that weakens my immune system. So I need all of my food well cooked and I can have no fresh fruit, veggies, garnish or herbs on my plate. Of course when my salmon came out, it was covered with fresh greens and was accompanied by an uncooked lemon wedge. I politely asked the waiter to remove the greens and lemon and reheat the salmon so that I don't get sick. He came back out literally 10 seconds later with the same piece of fish that had the greens scraped off. The scrape marks were there to be seen. I told the waiter that I cannot eat this food since it might make me sick. I told him that something that gives another person mild food poisoning, could make me truly ill or even be fatal. The waiter took the fish back in and that's when the fireworks started. i could hear the owner screaming at the top of his lungs that if I wanted to eat shoe leather, that I should get the hell out of his restaurant and go to a McDonalds. I was shocked and my wife was outraged. She said in a loud voice, although by no means yelling, to the waiter to ask the owner to come speak with us. When the owner heard this, he came out to the kitchen entry and pointed at my wife and yelled at her to get out immediately. I yelled back at him, telling him not to treat my wife in such a manner. I told him that we were repeat customers and we know many people who live in this area and who frequent his place. He yelled right back that we were no longer welcome and that our friends are not welcome either. As I was leaving, I realized that it was a good thing that we did not stay, since there was a plate of garlic toast on the counter that had a couple of flies crawling on it.

I will certainly never set foot in that hell hole again!!

Since this episode, I had a few thoughts that I would like to share. 1st, they only take cash. I believe that this is probably for one of two reasons. one is that the owner is so cheap that he refuses to pay the small fee that credit card companies charge businesses, even though he knows that only taking cash inconveniences his customers. And the other is that he cheats on his taxes. He may feel that with a cash only business, he can under report his sales and profit to the government since there is no paper trail to prove otherwise. Some one should look into this.

2nd, I am at a loss to see how this place could have passed any fire inspection since there is no way that it could meet the occupancy restriction. They crammed so many seats into this tiny place that if there was a true emergency, it could become dangerous since getting out of there in a rush would be very difficult. If you are with the Piermont fire department or police department and know this, SHAME ON YOU FOR ALLOWING THIS TO CONTINUE!!!

3rd, I really feel that eating here can be dangerous to your health. I would not be surprised if this nut job owner does not limit himself to just verbal violence if someone decided to stand up to his bullying and decided to not leave immediately. Clearly, he and his staff do not care about the health of their patrons. (I have never had restaurant staff repeatedly try to serve me food that could make me sick even after I politely told them that, with my medical condition, I could not take a chance that their uncooked food would not make me very sick,)

Finally, I noticed that the reviews for this place breaks down to 2 types. 4 or 5 stars from people who have not had a run in with the owner's anger issues yet, and 1 star reviews from people like me who have been the victims of the owner's rage and craziness. If you read the reviews for this place and still go here, you are playing Russian Roulette with your evening out. ...

My peers and I frequent this establishment every few months when we want to treat ourselves. This place offers a variety from tapas, to pizzas. Normally, our first order is the spanish fries; those are amazing and they always give a healthy amount. They also have a larger option for the Spanish fries, but both come with a ton and I always have enough to take home. My usual order would be one of their wood fire pizzas which never disappoints. My family usually gets the garlic shrimp appetizer which I have mixed feelings about. The flavor is nice, but it comes with the tail on which I am not a fan of. The food always looks quite nice as well which is important because we eat with our eyes first. I have had their pastas, and even some rabbit as I have tried a lot of the options here. Overall, this is a very nice treat yourself spot. The oxtail pasta I had a few visits ago was delicious, and actually my first time having oxtail. What I love about the pizzas is that every bit of it is delicious, even the crust. There are some Pizzas where the crusts are the afterthought, but every single bit of that pizza will be gone when I am eating. Their smoked mozzarella pie is my favorite because it comes with pesto (I prefer this to tomato sauce I know I am weird), and sausage. The dough is light and fluffy which is right up my alley. I am not a fan of thin crust and too much crisp, and every bit of this pizza was devour worthy. I would get this same pizza every time I go there, it is that good. My only complaint here would be that there are no free soda refills. That does affect the experience because I do not want to pay for another soda, so I ration it throughout the meal. The experience would be better if they had free refills, but I am still happy overall with my experiences which is why I keep coming back! The staff is always very nice and the service is exceptional; once in a while we have to call them over, but it is a popular spot and they are constantly busy. I also really like that this is a casual spot; I have come dressed in shorts before which is refreshing especially to someone who is tired of dressing up a lot. I would definitely give this place a shot since they have something for almost anyone. If you are not that hungry, their small plates are quite good and they have large...