Review: Liquid Assets – Where the Wine Is Fine but the Hype Is High

I’ve frequented Liquid Assets several times — usually for a post-dinner drink and a snack, and for that purpose, it mostly delivers. But this time, we decided to “do it right” and come in for a full dinner. You know, dine like grown-ups. After all, if you Google “top restaurants in Ocean City,” Liquid Assets is perpetually perched near the top like a seagull waiting for a boardwalk fry.

The place does one thing incredibly well: wine and spirits. The bottle shop selection is vast and genuinely impressive — a curated playground for any booze enthusiast. It’s surrounded by tables, and there’s a modest bar smack in the middle. On paper, it should all work.

But let’s talk dinner.

We were initially seated in the adjacent dining room, and within three minutes, we tapped out and made a swift escape to the bar. Why? Because the dining room was claustrophobia meets awkward double date. We were practically spooning the couple next to us, and based on their expressions, we were all equally horrified. Think airplane middle seat energy — but with bread plates.

At the bar, things didn’t exactly improve. The four bartenders behind the counter gave off a collective “we’d rather be anywhere else” vibe. Their presence felt less like service and more like a crowd scene. At one point, it felt like they were auditioning for a new series called The Real Bartenders of Ocean City — lots of standing, not much mixing. These were newbies and it showed.

Now, onto the food.

Locals (or maybe die-hard fans) around us were gushing about the Caesar chicken salad like it was sent from culinary heaven. Naturally, we tried it. Spoiler: it wasn’t. Bland, underwhelming, and tiny — it was the salad equivalent of a shrug.

The LA burger was solid — flavorful, sure — but not remotely worth the price tag. We’re talking gourmet burger burnout here. Smash burgers are everywhere, and this one didn’t smash anything except expectations. We also made the ill-fated decision to try the steak tartare. I’ll keep it classy and just say: we wish we hadn’t.

The Kung Pao calamari was decent, mildly spicy, nicely crisped — the best of the bunch — but again, not memorable enough to write home about. Or Yelp about. Oh wait…

The steak fries, however, deserve their own round of applause. Thick, golden, perfectly seasoned — they were the unsung hero of the night. And yes, the wine was excellent, as always. But here’s the thing: when fries and wine are the highlight of your dining experience, and you’ve just paid premium prices for the privilege, something’s off.

⸻

Bottom Line:

Liquid Assets is not a bad place — it’s just dramatically overhyped. If you want to swing by for a glass of wine and some fries at the bar, go for it. But if you’re expecting a world-class dinner? You’re better off elsewhere. We’ll continue to drop by for drinks and light bites, but for full meals, we’ll be avoiding it like the parking lot...

These guys are absolute pros!

My fiance and I were looking for caterers for our late-July beach wedding in Assateague. We were talking to a couple companies, but when we stopped by Liquid Assets' restaurant, the deal was sealed. We left feeling like we had just had the best meal of our lives, well, that record was to be short-lived. Guy (catering director) was completely fantastic to deal with, and walked us through what to expect. We couldn't make up our minds when selecting the menu from the options we were provided. It probably doesn't matter what you order from Liquid Assets, it's going to be amazing. Their mop-water is probably gourmet, that's how amazing these guys are.

We had a wedding on the beach, literally, on-the-beach. The ceremony, dinner, and reception were held on sand. The staff quickly and knowledgeably set up their cooking-area (yes, they actually COOKED on the beach) where the guests could catch a glimpse, and maybe steal a taste, of the goings-on of the food preparation. These guys were standing on the dunes, expertly grilling and preparing a meal that bested our previous record (also held by Liquid Assets), and then some. If that doesn't impress, then you might not have a pulse. Until taste-o-vision is invented, I have no way of relating to you how incredible the food was. I CAN relate, however, how professional everyone on the staff was. My guests felt welcomed and pampered by the passed appetizers, and the staff met every one of their requests with care and attention. The highest-quality ingredients were used, and everything was done to perfection. Literally, there was nothing left to want. We camped for the whole week, and truly relished in enjoying the leftovers, and reliving the tale of how we all dined like kings on the beach.

Our event swung pretty far on the informal side, so the one thing we wanted to impress our guests with was the food. And, boy, did we. People were raving, RAVING, on the way out of the party about the quality of the dinner they just had. I don't usually write reviews, but these guys deserve your business, and I mean that from the bottom of my heart. I'm kinda a fat guy, so for me to gush like this, it was freaking amazing. Go to Liquid Assets, you will NOT be...

I would like to bring to the business’s attention the complete disrespect and unprofessionalism of the manager last night February 18, 2022. My partner had approached the host stand to request service. He complimented the female hostess by saying she had a nice smile. The manager was blatantly disrespectful and escalated a situation that was non-existent. When I approached the host stand, I asked the female hostess if she was okay. She looked at me, smiled and said “yes.” My partner was humiliated as he has been a long-time customer. He owns several businesses in the area, and in his culture, they are respectfully complimentary. I am highly offended and disgusted by the behavior of this employee of Liquid Assets. I was in the service industry for several years and now have a Master’s in behavior analysis. To see a manager treat a customer the way he treated my partner is completely intolerable. The manager went over to the area we were sitting, picked up my purse, our two coats and a pair of glasses, handed the items to me and said, “You have one chance to leave.” Not only should he have refrained from the disrespectful communication, he should have never touched my belongings. We also had just received our drinks, had already paid for them and were never refunded. I wanted to go to another establishment, but my partner was insistent on taking me to Liquid Assets as he really enjoys the restaurant. We will not be returning and will be leaving a review to reflect why. I hope the staff receive training on how to treat customers as reputation is what makes a business successful...