The Little Woody — Restaurant in Phoenix

It was one of those nights where the air was thick with secrets, and the city felt like it was closing in. I needed to disappear, find a spot where no one asked questions. The Little Woody was it—a place so dark, even the shadows had shadows.

Felt like a speakeasy, though to be fair, I’ve never actually been in one. Still, I half-expected to see a guy in a trench coat smoking behind a fern.

Inside, it’s dim—real dim. Like, ‘Did I just walk into an owl’s nest?’ kind of dim. There were owls everywhere, just staring at me. Honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if one of them had a monocle and was judging my drink order. I met up with my grandpa-in-law, ready to drop my big conversion story on him—life-changing stuff. He squinted at me through the dim light, leaned in close, and after hearing me out, just deadpanned, “You high?”

Not exactly the reaction I was expecting, but hey, that’s The Little Woody for you—a place where even your best revelations sound like bad pickup lines.

I’ve been back with friends too. Nights that started with drinks and ended with... well, I’m not totally sure, but we laughed a lot and probably bonded over how absolutely bizarre it is to drink under the judgmental gaze of a hundred owls.

Five stars, easy. The Little Woody is like a fever dream wrapped in a noir mystery, served with a side of ‘What just happened?’ If you’re not into that, maybe stick to your regular bars with, I don’t know,...

Its a quaint dive bar, but the prices on the food items were quite steep to me. A grilled cheese sandwich (with cheddar, brie, bacon, and fig jam) and a handful of chips is $10. The guacamole, chips and salsa pictured here is $10. Those are just two examples.

I can't comment on beverage prices, as I don't drink much, so I don't know if $5 for a Corona is too much or average. They do serve cold water, when you come in, but it'd probably taste better if it was filtered, though (can taste that city water goodness). I know my wife wasn't thrilled with her lemonade and remarked that it tasted watered-down. You have to be extraordinarily terrible to screw up lemonade.

The atmosphere, though, is quite nice. You come in from the hot desert sun and you're blinded after walking in the door due to the dim lighting inside. There are secondary rooms connected to the main one. One room contained comfortable looking couches and chairs, a TV or two, and a couple of pool tables. The other room had a record player at one end (decoration?), a long shuffleboard, barrels in random spots, a Golden Tee Live video game, two dart boards with video displays, two skee ball games, and a foosball table. There's a major emphasis on wood and owls, as well.

If your aim is to find a cool place to meet with friends to meet and drink with, this might be a good place. I recommend eating before or after though, due to the food...

It’s a cool place, been here a couple times now. But I feel I need warn others of a potentially sketchy bartender there. We were there July 3rd and the first person to serve me a drink was this older man. Don’t know his name but I think he was the definitely the oldest bartender that night. He seemed fine then, but at the end of the night, I’m not sure if he was intoxicated or what, but as me and my friend were heading out the door he was sitting at a table and snagged me by my arm and gave me a strange look and told me something I could barely hear but was definitely suggestive. It was very weird and I honestly don’t think I want to come back here and risk that guy being the one mixing my drink next time. I advise the managers of this place and other bartenders keep a sharp eye on him. If I figure out what his name was I will update.

There were also some people hogging a pool table and they wouldn’t let other people play unless they “challenged them”. It was so odd, I’m hoping this isn’t a regular thing that these dudes with a complex just come here and sit at the pool table and try to intimidate others who just want to play pool to try to compensate. I let security know later that night and the security person was very nice and said he’d make sure they weren’t still there hogging it.

Overall, weird night and a couple weird people but cool place....