Ranch PDX Southeast — Restaurant in Portland

This is just my opinion, along with my partner's input. I suggest everyone form their own of Ranch if they're in to Artisanal Detroit-style pizza.

I can understand why some people would like this - I wanted to. But it just felt like at most choices, they zigged when they should have zagged. They tried to hit a home run with everything, but it was just swing-and-misses.

My partner and I tried the Hawaiian, Veggie, #4, the Caesar salad, and a side of ranch. We were overall pretty disappointed throughout the meal. The Caesar salad was overly bitter with having only raddichio as the base. The dressing lacked flavor, and the crouton dust was a laughable topping choice. The #4 was our least favorite: the meat is finely minced which didn't lead to a pleasant mouth-feel, and the ricotta was in a large glob in the corner on it's own, not incorporated with the other toppings. The Veggie was our second favorite: we liked the individual toppings on their own, but the summation together was unimpressive. This brings me to the underlying (pun intended) objection - the sauce. The red sauce was boring and bland, lacking real spice and heartiness. The Hawaiian turned out to be the most enjoyable of the three. The bacon was a welcome substitution for ham, the pineapple tasted like it didn't come from a can, and the jalapenos are exactly what I would choose to add to any pizza of the like (or any pizza in general). The issue we had was the same with the others; the base just wasn't good. The bread/crust didn't add anything to the experience, it was just a vehicle for toppings. Also, every pizza was topped with fresh basil, so it didn't taste special on any slice. Lastly, the ranch was dill-heavy. That may be your thing, but we thought it was overwhelming and unsatisfying.

Again, this is only my opinion. I suggest everyone try Ranch to form their own! Props to the chef(s) for trying to do something different, I do really appreciate that, and I'm sure a lot of people like...

I am usually not the one to comment and leave bad reviews, but I have my experience was so bad that I need to say something. On March 10, 2024 1pm my sister, friend and our kids came in for lunch. As soon as we walked in the bartender was on us about having a tricycle in the restaurant saying we have to leave it outside, which was fine. She said it with so much attitude, that threw us completely off. The next thing is heavy metal music started playing, I thought it would be a good idea to ask if she could change the playlist, to which she replied “No”. I said this is not a very good Sunday music with families to which she replied “Thats your opinion”. I was so taken aback and had no words, that when she handed me our drinks she rudely said “you are welcome”. The next think we noticed was that the music was turned up even more than it had been before. AWFUL experience by the bartender, the lady working the pizza are was...

I am upset. I just ate a pizza based on a Chicago-style Hotdog and it was fire. It has no right to be as good as it was, it just doesn't make sense. I have tried nearly every special hey have made in the last two years and got dang, they all hit, although not as risky as this baddy. Pretty Fly for A White Pie, at first glance, seems wild, but the more you think about it, it makes sense. Tater Swift's New Boo? An ode to your favorite Midwestern Mama's Au Gratin Potatoes was an absolute slapper. But they pale in comparison in regards to expectation vs the flavor reality to this pie. Ranch Pizza simply DOES NOT MISS. Their staples are reliable and fantastic, the music selection is always hitting, and if you partake, Baerlic makes a beer for you. Frick around and find out, you won't regret it. And if you do, you probably have bad taste. Also, the caesar salad is the best in town, that's a hill...