Erie Island Coffee Co. — Restaurant in Rocky River

I am not going to lie, this is my second Google review of this joint. But guess what has two thumbs, two Gmail accounts and doesn't give a flying fart what you think? This guy. Anyways, this place is the best coffee shop to work at on the Westside. There isn't even a debate about that. People say "Paul, what is the best place to work remote on the Westside?" Then I say Erie Island RR, derp-a-dur. Then they say "oh yeah, I forgot, I am an idiot". Then I say "I did't forget you are an idiot". But that isn't really what I am here to talk about. I want to tell you my favorite joke of all time. Learn it, commit it to memory. You can use it when you have a 5 minute plus UBER ride and you feel like talking.

The story goes that Attila the Hun used to collect exotic animals that he found during his conquests. He particularly liked dangerous or fearsome animals, and his favorite was a giant snake. He was so fond of it, it was said that he brought it with him on every campaign.

But his snake lost its appetite, and soon stopped eating altogether; perhaps due to the stress of frequent travel and an irregular diet.

Wishing to save his prized pet, Attila sought help from the local chirurgeons and witch doctors. None of them could do anything for him, until a wizened sage suggested feeding the serpent only young female virgins.

Attila was pleased with this idea, and was delighted to find that a city he had raided just happened to have a Christian convent with a convenient supply of the recommended food for his pet.

But the snake refused to eat, or even touch any of the consecrated virgins from the convent. Enraged, Attila sent for the soothsayer who advised him to have him executed.

Standing before Attila, the old man calmly said, "Before thou killest me, may thee first bring the snake and one of the women to me."

Curious, Attila did as he asked.

Then the old man took some bread and gave it to Attila.

"Now hold these in both hands," he instructed.

Attila did so, and as soon as he did, the snake let out a terrifying hiss, and swallowed the virgin whole.

To an amazed Attila, the old man simply said,

"Thy anaconda don't want nun unless you've...

I found myself in Rocky River today and decided to support a smaller business instead of Starbucks. I ordered a 12oz americano with a splash of steamed milk. I was charged an extra DOLLAR for the splash of (regular) milk. I asked about this to confirm. I was told it was because this makes it a breve. (as a barista I can tell you a breve is actually like a latte but with half and half instead of steamed milk). I tried to explain I just wanted a splash and I wanted it warm so it doesn't cool the americano. Still he said it would be a DOLLAR extra. He was also kind of rude and talked down to me, which made the dollar all the more hard to swallow. In the end, I paid. He presented my order in a 16oz cup - too big for an americano. It was basically a watered down latte and it was terrible. I'm so sad for Rocky River residents who are limited to such sad options as this and Starbucks. It left me feeling so fortunate to live in Tremont, where there's an abundance. If you are in the area, try Black Bird. The coffee isn't the absolute best but their pastries are amazing and they would never charge a DOLLAR for a...

This place has lost its magic.

I've been coming here since they opened in 2008. This place was my regular local daily for over a decade. It was hands down the best coffee shop in Cleveland, let alone Ohio (| looked). I recommended it to everyone... at it's pinnacle, it was the unofficial nexus of everything happening in Cleveland.

Unfortunately, this place had been on a slow decline due apathetic owners before it was taken over by new owners in January 2025. Which has now been hastened by owners who don't understand what made it special and a new manager who frankly has no idea what they're doing.

It's incredibly sad, but not worth your time. There's an Einstein's and Starbucks down the street within walking dostance and a Panera witha drive thru less than a mile away. Those places never helda candle to what Erie was but are now 10X better than it is.

Expect an uninformed reply to accompany this review, presumably from their current manager, who is a large part of the decline and still has yet...