PizzaHacker/BagelMacher SF — Restaurant in San Francisco

ATTN: FINAL BOSS PIZZA

After trying 85 San Francisco Pizza Establishments since May 2022, this Pizza Reviewer deems PizzaHacker/Bagel Macher SF as one of the G.O.A.T.S., Standard Bearers and God's of San Francisco Pizza. One could safely win an argument that this is actually possibly the Best Neapolitan and Best Square/ Detroit Style in all of San Francisco due to the how high quality they are but also because they use San Francisco Sourdough in everything.

That is why you can safely argue this is actually the Best San Francisco Pizza period. Jeff Krupman, I assume is the author of this Pizza and by following PizzaHacker/BagelMacher SF on Instagram, it is clear that he is a Devotee of Pizza. By the way, the Intermezzo Salad is also excellent. A nice variety of fresh vegetables and a nice Poppy Seed dressing.

Back to the Pizza, the sauce is out of control good here. It is insanely good and it is bright blood red to boot! The whole quality of this Pizza... you need to make trying this place Top Priority if you actually love Pizza and/ or Sourdough and/or San Francisco. I am a Native of San Francisco, not from somewhere else and i say this. I am a Top 10% Pizza Reviewer on Google and I say this. I am a Pizza Elitist. A Man of Pizza. A Devotee of Pizza. A Self Diagnosed Pizza Expert. Offered to be a Pizza Officer via Yelp (for Hawaii though). I have been to New York. And Italy. And Chicago for that matter. Okay?

So do yourself a favor and either go to PizzaHacker/Bagel Macher for Both Styles of Pizza wether it is Neapolitan San Francisco Sourdough Pizza or Square/ Detroit Style San Francisco Sourdough Pizza or get it delivered. Those are your only options. Until then, do not chime in with your opinions about Pizza. As if you know anything. You don't know what you're talking about until you go here. These are facts.

And by the way, they have been doing the Square/ Detroit Style since 2009. Okay, Jack? So this isn't their first rodeo. Their Square has been around for over a decade. So they didn't do it to cash in on a trend like a lot of the newly opened ones regardless of it they are good or not. I have tried every single Detroit Style Pizza in San Francisco and only one other place uses Sourdough - Sunset Squares. I would say the Square here stacks up well with the following: Capo's, Cellarmaker House of Pizza, Long Bridge Pizza Co., and Tony's Napelatana. That's the area of the truly good Detroit and honestly... PizzaHacker is probably the best of them all.

So stop reading this. Create a plan to try this. Now.

ATTN: PizzaHacker/BagelMacher SF

Now. I do have this one criticism. Why no original art on the boxes? Why no shirts for sale? This Pizza is so good that I want these things. I want to wear a PizzaHacker/BagelMacher shirt. That's what I want.

How dare you not have some kind of thing with imagery relating to your fine establishment for strange men like me to wear when they go other places to represent how much they love what you do for Pizza daily? How dare you!

Addendum I: Gluten Free SquAIRS

After trying the two main styles of Pizza here and receiving a nice message in response to my Review... I felt PizzaHacker deserves something few Pizza Establishments deserve... My trust in them to try their gluten free style. To be fair, it is a lot smaller than the Gluten Full Detroit Style and it is borderline no longer Detroit Style which is why they probably don't call it that. It actually is really good if you are someone who must eat gluten free only. I would say that if you want to eat something good that is almost Detroit Pizza and the exchange of that for your bowels being tied in knots all night isn't worth it to taste the excellence of their Gluten Full Pizzas, this would be good.

Obviously Gluten Free is probably never going to be able to be as good as otherwise but this is good. I am not mad I tried it because I love PizzaHacker and they deserve for me to try it and talk about it here.

Summary My Ratings, using the One Bite Pizza Rating System:

Thin Pie - 8.9 Detroit Style -...

Confusingly/comically bad service. No one acknowledged me when I walked in. I waited around for an awkwardly long time and then had to basically tackle someone who worked there to get help. They told me to sit at the counter, but no one came over to help for around 15 minutes. When they finally came with a menu and some water, I already had my order ready because while waiting for so long I found a picture of the menu online. Someone on the kitchen staff (who prepare the food right in front of you at the counter) gave me my pizza and then no one came by again until they dropped off the bill and I had to remind them of something else I had ordered that they forgot about. I also asked for a napkin because I never received one. They came back with the bill and no napkin so I had to ask again. Surprise, surprise - they never gave me one. I waited with my credit card on the check again for an excessively long time, but per usual no one came over to take it. Luckily I had some cash on me so I finally just left that because I had no more time to waste after being in there for forever. I've never been so ignored and forgotten about by a restaurant. The food was good, but was definitely not worth the insanely...

I am a sewer plumber and I was in the area so I stopped in to order a pizza. I had my Jetter with me so they asked me to go ahead and service them. It should have been a very run of the mill service job. I noticed the drains in his restaurant started backing up! This should not happen. There was about 2" of standing raw sewage water covering entire restaurant floor. I examined. Discovered a non-operational grease trap. He had been dumping restaurant grease directly into his main line sewer! He quickly with deep emotion blamed me for this!? We walked out to curb and she pulled small square metal grill air vent which allows you to look right at the sewer pipe and there was a ball of grease the size of a basketball! The tall guy bearded guy well groomed behind bar tried macho approach. "hey buddy you clean this #@%!kin $@#&*$% up! I do not appreciate your tone and it would be illegal for me to touch it, its deemed Toxic waste. Meanwhile I could see his people food prepping standing in raw sewage.Public safety trumps making a buck buddy! I watched his business for a couple of days and he called out ACE plumbing but he never had his business professionally...