Cafe Noir — Restaurant in Stone Harbor

Absolutely appalling matcha. False advertising at its finest.

I don’t usually leave reviews, but this experience was so frustrating I had to say something.

I came here specifically for their matcha latte after seeing the photos on their Google photos. Rich, dark green, thick-looking matcha that actually resembles what real matcha should look and taste like. What I got? A barely tinted cup of milk. Practically white. No flavor. No richness. Just… sad milk with a trace of green. It was so bad I thought maybe they forgot to add the matcha entirely.

I went back to the counter and politely asked if they could add more matcha. They did and somehow it got WORSE. It tasted like someone dropped six ice cubes in a cup, poured in a splash of milk, and let the cubes melt into what can only be described as watery disappointment. Zero flavor, zero body, and an aftertaste that made me question if they’ve ever actually tasted good matcha before.

This isn’t just a case of a weak drink, it’s outright false advertising. The beautiful, vibrant matcha on your Google photos? It does not exist in this building.

I genuinely don’t know how you mess up matcha this badly. I won’t be returning, and I wouldn’t recommend this place to anyone who actually likes matcha. The matcha powder taste leftover in the cup was SO disgusting that I ended up throwing away. It was not even...

I stopped by during the weekend to grab a quick lunch and got a few things to try. Their lobby is pretty small, so while it's fine in the off-season, I'm sure it gets very crowded in the summer. I got their Nutella Coffee and got it iced. The coffee is just black coffee with a glob of Nutella put in it. It was tasty, but the coffee they used was a very dark roast. I asked for room to put creamer in, but I guess they forgot. Multiple people were waiting and only one person was making coffee, so I get them forgetting that detail. Their donut was not very donut-like, and closer to a sweetbread with a cream filling. I didn't care for it, I felt like I was eating a bread roll, but the person who came with me loved it. Their croissants are amazing! They get them imported from France, so they taste wonderful! I would totally get their croissants again. The bagel...the bagel itself tasted fine, and the cream cheese was pretty good. You could tell there were fresh chives used in the cream cheese. But...why on Earth did the guy in the kitchen cut it into fourths?! I almost fainted when I unwrapped the bagel. FOURTHS?? Who does this?! It was also very burnt on one side, I guess their toasting machine is off-kilter. I wouldn't bother with their bagels, but the croissants are to die for.

(Visit was on...

Great name! I'm also a fan of film noir, and Noir Alley on TCM! I am not yet another summer vacationer who just goes to Stone Harbor in the summertime. I live nearby year-round.. at least for now. Sorry, but I have not actually gone in there yet, except briefly, maybe a year ago or more. It is very small. There is not much space inside. It strikes me more as a grab n' go place. There was one black high round wooden table outside, along with two stools. They were closed today, late Sunday afternoon, as was everything else in this nook, unsurprisingly, since it is December. No foot traffic. But, from what I can tell, it does seem they have quality coffee that you can buy by the cup or by the bag. And they sell cool Cafe Noir cups, as you can see in my b&w photos. I doubt they have wifi. Still, I suppose I should check when they are open, go and then edit this entry so that I can give you a more...