Olive Garden Italian Restaurant — Restaurant in West Hartford

The Pinnacle of High-Class Dining

Well, folks, let me tell ya, I done seen some fancy places in my day—like the Red Lobster out by the interstate—but nothing, and I mean nothing, coulda prepared me for the high society experience that is Olive Garden. This ain't just dinner, it's a dang event.

First thing I noticed was the atmosphere. Real cloth napkins, not just the scratchy brown ones from a gas station dispenser. A lady in a button-up shirt brought us bread for free, and I nearly fell out my boots. That’s hospitality, right there. The sign says, "When You’re Here, You’re Family," and I gotta say, I ain't never felt more like kinfolk anywhere that didn't have a bail bondsman on speed dial.

Now, the food? Exquisite. I ordered the Chicken Alfredo ‘cause it had the most expensive-soundin' name, and buddy, it was like the Lord Himself boiled those noodles. My cousin Bubba Joe said his spaghetti was “real gourmet,” and that’s sayin’ something, ‘cause he usually eats his pasta straight out the can.

Course, not all my kinfolk appreciated the refinement. My Aunt Brenda Sue got kicked out ‘fore the salads even hit the table ‘cause she tried lightin’ a Marlboro right there in the booth. She said, “I thought this place was Italy! Don’t them Europeans love smokin’?” The manager did not see her logic.

Then there was my brother Cletus, who took the “All You Can Eat” breadsticks as a challenge. After about basket number seven, the waiter started givin’ us the side-eye, but Cletus just kept hollerin’, “I ain’t full yet, fancy boy!” I think they were fixin’ to cut us off, but then cousin Raylene started flirtin’ with the busboy and bought us a little more time.

The night took a turn when my Uncle Randy decided to sample the wine list, which we usually don’t mess with unless it’s in a box. He said the house Chianti tasted like “fancy Welch’s grape juice with a kick,” and I’ll be damned if that ain’t the most poetic thing that man’s ever said. He got cut off after his fourth glass and tried tellin’ ‘em he was an Italian prince to get more. Didn’t work.

By the end of the night, after a heapin’ pile of pasta, unlimited salad, and just a tiny bit of property damage (Randy knocked over a whole display of them glass olive oil bottles while tryin’ to reenact a scene from The Godfather), we wobbled on outta there feelin’ like true high society folk. I ain’t never been nowhere that fancy, and I tell ya what, I’m gonna make Olive Garden our new special occasion spot.

When you're here, you're family, and I never felt that more than when we all got banned from ever...

We walked in late around 9pm and were immediately seated and handed menus. Our server, a kind young woman, quickly explained the never-ending soup and salad deal when we asked. While grating parmesan onto our food, she paused occasionally to check if we wanted more.

Things only went downhill from there.

The food cooled almost instantly after hitting the table; preheated plates or bowls would have helped. Instead, it felt like we were eating unheated leftovers at a sit-down restaurant, which was especially disappointing given the prices.

Speaking of prices, everything except the soups and salad felt grossly overpriced for what you actually get. My partner's chicken alfredo tasted like Pizza Time’s version, but probably worse. The spaghetti with meat sauce tasted overly smoked and salty to me; my partner found it harshly acidic and sour. The spaghetti noodles were limp and cheap-tasting, and neither of us wanted more than a bite. For $14 at Pizza Time, you get actually appetizing pasta with meat, garlic bread, and salad. At Olive Garden, $14 gets you unpalatable spaghetti with no meat.

And quantity: my partner's chicken alfredo barely had enough noodles. By the end, he was left with a pile of fried chicken that was never nearly as crispy as the crispy chicken at our local Thai spot, Kob Jai.

By the time we finished, we felt so sick, like we'd just binged on a bunch of fast food junk.

Credit where it's due: the salad was fine, with crunchy, well-seasoned croutons and decent tomatoes, though the lettuce and carrots tasted bagged. The soups were easily the best part - hearty minestrone full of vegetables and beans, creamy chicken gnocchi that my partner especially liked. Still, neither were good quality food.

In the end, my partner was able to finish his chicken alfredo but Olive Garden is now officially banned from our dining list. As long as our memories (and taste buds) stay intact, we...

Horrible visit. Wait staff is usually personable. The waiter's first comment upon getting to the table was do we know what we want? We ordered immediately. We noticed a few more tables get sat as we waited. After 40 min one of the tables that sat and ordered after us received their entrees. We asked the manager what's going on since we hadn't seen our waiter in a long time. He came back and said they had to make more lasagna and offered desserts on him for the long wait. Still took 10 minutes longer for the meals to come out. My lasagna roll was not good. Its just a solid ball of cheese wrapped in a single layer or pasta with a dollop of sauce on top. After we were done eatingwe asked for to go containers, a to go meal, and the desserts to go. He came back after 5 min with just the to go containers and bag. Then left and came back in 5 min with just the dessert and to go meal, but no bag for the rolls. Also I said where was the second dessert, He said the manager only said 1 dessert which he did say desserts not dessert but I was sick of being there so didn't argue. He came back after abother 5 min with fresh rolls since it took him so long to bring back everything. He then admitted the orders took so long because he forgot to place our order because he was so busy. Apparently the manger lied to us as to the reason for the delay. I was going to tip a little less because of the issues but the waiter hovered over me "showing me how to process the payment" on the table kiosk. I felt that it was inconsiderate he did that. I hurriedly went with the default tip since he was watching. Lowe and behold Olive Garden now defaults to 25%! I feel that is a very dishonest move for them to do as a company because everyone knows normal tips are 15-20%. They are trying to get more money from their guests. Finally when I got home and checked everything I noticed that the rolls were burnt. What else...